The State Germ

Colby: "Mom, in school we learned what the state germ was."
Mom: "The state germ?"  In my head I was thinking of everything we've had in our house over the past month.  We're the capitol of the state germ around here.  Streptococcus?  Stomach virus?  We got it right here.
Colby: "Yeah!  The state germ!  It's the greenstone!"
Mom: "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  You mean the state GEM!"
Colby: "No, mom.  It said germ.  Our state germ is the greenstone."

OK.  Whatever.  If it's taught in school, it must be right.

Honestly....

Just got a note from Colby's teacher.  Apparently he was VOMITTING on other children during recess today.  On purpose.  She didn't know what to do, because "she's never had to deal with anything like that before."  I might add that she's been teaching a good many years. 

So, where might I find parenting advice on how to deal with PUKING on someone for fun?  Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting.  How to win friends, Colby.... definitely figured out how to win friends.

UGH.

Math

Colby: "Mom, we're learning about division at school, and I'm the only person in the whole class who gets it."
Mom: "Really?  Good job!  What about Quinn?  Doesn't he understand division?"
Colby: "Well, actually, I guess he does, because I taught him in the shower last night."
Quinn: "I forgot.  I don't get it."
Colby: "You CAN'T forget it!  I taught you!"

Here's Mom, chuckling at the irony of that sentence.  How many times have I taught you to use a fork when you eat???