Walmart

Had all three kids with me today at Walmart, something I usually dread. Today, all three were extremely well behaved! Quinn pushed the cart with his little sister in it, while Colby "led the way" to whichever item was next on the list. It was orderly (except when Quinn ran into other people or carts, since he couldn't actually SEE where he was going) and peaceful. Wow. Quinn noticed how well the trip was going.

Q: "MOM! I'm being a regular person! I'm pushing the cart!"
Mom: "Yes. I like you being a regular person."

I think we were referring to different things, but still...

Logic to Make a Mother Worry

Colby: "Mom, why do you go to jail if you drink and drive?"
Mom: "Because when you drink, it makes you a bad driver, and you could crash."
Colby: "Oh, I get it. If you crash, it would spill your drink!"

Holiday Checklist

Before school today, Colby piped up with this:

Colby: "Mom, you've decorated the house and cleaned, but we haven't done our holiday baking yet!"
Mom: "Holiday baking?"
Colby: "Yes! What are we going to feed Santa when he comes? And do you have the carrots for the reindeer yet?"
Mom: "Yes. I remembered the carrots. But you're right - we haven't made cookies for Santa. Maybe today when you get home from school."
Colby: "Good. We have to be ready."

I was sort of surprised at his accurate checklist. Don't know where he got it, but it was the exact same checklist that was going through MY head.

Tom Foolery

TRYING to focus the children enough to get their jammies on tonight.

Mom: "Quinn, get your jammies on."
Quinn: "I'm not Quinn. I'm Colby."
Mom: "Whatever, Quinn. Just put your pajamas on."
Quinn: "I'm not Quinn, I'm Colby."
Mom: "Maybe you should try fooling someone who didn't give birth to you. That doesn't work on moms. Get your pajamas on. Colby! Get in here and put your pajamas on!"
Colby: "I'm not Colby. I'm Quinn."
Mom: "BOYS! You're making me mad! Quit messing around and get your pajamas on!"
Colby: "We're not boys. We're Quinn and Colby. And I'm the first one."

AAARRRRGGGHHHHH.

Church

OK. I'm sure this somehow makes me a really bad parent, but... in desperation today.... I bribed my children to sit still and pay attention in church. The offer? One solid M&M for every question they got right on the way home from church. It worked moderately well.

Mom: "What did Father talk about today?"
Quinn: "Cats!" OK... it was an analogy, but the image of a cat WAS used, so... one point.
Mom: "Name one prayer we said."
Colby: "The Our Father!"
Mom: "Name one song we sung."
Rob: "Oh, Maria!" HEY! I didn't know Dad's were playing, too. One point for Dad.
Mom: "What is the name of our priest?"
Colby: "Uncle BOB!" Uhhhhh..... no.
Mom: "Try again. What's the name of our priest?"
Colby: "Father Bob!" Still, no.
Mom: "One more time. What's his name?"
Quinn: "Father AL".

When I asked what the name of the Pastor was at St. Peter and Paul, Quinn said this...
Quinn: "But you already SAID his name. Pastor!"
Mom: "No. What's his NAME?"
Quinn: "Pastor!"
Mom: "No. His name!"
Quinn: "What, you mean like a LAST name?"
Mom: "Yes."
Quinn: "OOOOHHHHH. Pastor Weber."
Thank you.

The question no one, including Dad, apparently knew the answer to... the color of today's vestments. We had green, white, red, and dark yellow given as guesses. Was no one looking forward the entire service? Even when they shook the man's hand as they left the church??? Come on, people. It's PURPLE! He was ENSCONCED in PURPLE! From his neck to his toes! Sheesh.

Chefs

The boys asked me if they could make their own breakfast this morning. I told them yes. They decided to make sandwiches. Still ok. Soon, I see Quinn eating his sandwich..... peanut butter, jelly and chocolate chip cookie on pumpernikel. Um, no. Try again.

Secret Keepers

Quinn "fell" on a present this morning, "accidentally" ripping it to find out what was inside. Luckily, it wasn't one for them. "Mom, but who's getting the play-doh, then?" HMMMM. They duct-taped that present back together. It's truly lovely. I had told the boys what "they" got Dad for Christmas, enforcing that it was a secret, and not to tell Dad, because we want him to be surprised on Christmas morning. Quinn just told me "I didn't tell him the WHOLE thing. Just the first three words of what it was. There's four words to it." UGH. I can't imagine what Rob might think a book-shaped package is that starts with "A Paper Airplane ______".

Santa

Quinn: "Mom, Santa can see you, and knows if you've been naughty".
Mom: "Yep."
Colby: "He can hear us, too. " (Yelling) "Santa! I want Jenga for Christmas!!!!"
Mom: "Maybe you should've put that in your letter."
Quinn: "No, he can see us and hear us. He's got LOOOONNNNG eyes from the North Pole."

OK.

Budding Entrepenuers

Quinn wants to sell things. For money. Because he wants to buy candy at school. I told him he could EARN money by working, but that option was nixed as too labor-intensive.

Quinn: "No. I want to set up a table by the ice cream palor, and people can walk by and buy things to give me money."
Mom: "What are you going to sell?"
Quinn: "Hot Wheel cars."
Colby: "NO! I love Hot Wheels!"
Quinn: "I'll only sell the ones you don't like. People do that. They sell the stuff they don't like."
Mom: "And how much are you going to sell them for?"
Quinn: "$1. No. $10."
Colby: "You should sell them for $50."
Mom: "And what makes you think people will buy used Hot Wheels from you when they can go to Walmart and buy them new for $.97?"
Quinn: "Because we'll be at the ice cream store. People buy things at the ice cream store." (Yeah, blueberries, strawberries, lemonade.... THAT'S what people set up stands for and sell in front of our local ice cream parlor).
Mom: "And what will you buy with all the money you earn?"
Quinn: "Pixie Stix"
Colby: "Chocolate Lipstick".

Fabulous.

Kindergarten Drama

The answer to the question "How was school today?"

Quinn: "I was sitting next to Dallace at lunch, and he hit me. I told him 'it's okay, you're still my dude.'"

I'm going to have to use that one myself in the future. No problem. You're still my dude.....

New Rules

Due to wintery driving conditions and a mother who is deathly afraid of killing her children in a motor vehicle accident, our mini-van has officially been designated "The Happiest Van on Earth." This means that fighting, arguing, yelling, and all manner of disruptive behavior is NOT ALLOWED. If such behaviors infringe upon the peace and contentment of "The Happiest Van on Earth", the guilty party will be politely deposited by the side of the road, to be picked up at a later time of Mom's choosing. Driving in blizzards with small children in a mini-van is a harrowing experience, and thus drastic measures needed to be devised.

Overheard

The scene: Two dripping naked boys, just out of the shower.

Quinn: "Hey,Colby. If we run around really fast, the water will fall off!"
Colby: "Who told you THAT?"
Quinn: "I told myself!"
Colby: "Oh, ok."

Big Eyes

It's a snow day, so no school. Thought we'd make some treats for the school bake sale. I had the boys looking through my Food and Family magazines to pick out what they wanted to make. Quinn saw an advertisement for Mac n' Cheese, with a kid dressed up like a superhero.

Quinn: "Look, Mom! If I eat mac n' cheese, I'll be a superhero!"
Colby: "No, superheros are just pretend".
Quinn: "There's one superhero. GOD!"
Colby: "Oh yeah. God's the biggest superhero on the earth."
Quinn: "God's the biggest superhero in the whole universe!"
Colby: "Yeah. But other superheros are pretend."
Quinn: "How does God see EVERYONE at the same time?"
Mom: "It's one of His super powers, I guess".
Colby: "He can see everyone in Washington and Africa at the SAME TIME!"
Mom: " Yup".
Quinn: "That must be really hard."
Mom: "Not for God."
Colby: "I know how He does it. He has REALLY big eyes!"
Quinn: (movng his head from side to side and squiggling his eyes all around) "No, He goes like THIS all the time".

HMMMM. Who knows? Maybe so. Maybe so.

A Makeover

My conversation with the boys this morning....

Mom: "Hey, boys, do you notice anything different about me?"
Q&C: "Uh.... no."
Mom: "Look hard. What's different about me?"
C: "You....uh.... bought us a present?"
M: "No."
Q: "You're squishing your face up, to look mean?"
M: "No." I just woke up! It's bright in here!!!
Q&C: "I don't know."
M: "Is my hair the same color as it was yesterday?"
Q&C: "Yes. No."
M: "What color was my hair yesterday?"
Q&C: "Black. Brown. No. Yellow." Unfortunately, all of the above.
M: "And what color is it today."
Q&C: "BROWN!"
M: "Yes. Brown. My hair is now brown."
C: "Weird, Mom. How'd you do that?"

Clairol, my friend.... Miss Clairol.

Christmas Part 2

Colby: "MOM! I didn't know we were so close to Santa!"
Mom: "What are you talking about?"
Colby: "It goes Chassell, then the North Pole! On the globe! We're so close!"

Yes. We're at the end of the world. Really.

Christmas

The boys have been having a hey-day with all the Christmas ads coming in the newspaper. They've been circling EVERY toy. Colby just asked me if he could just send the newspapers with the circled ads directly to Santa rather than having to write a letter. LAZINESS. Anyways, I was a little concerned that they were getting swept up in the hub-bub and missing the TRUE meaning of Christmas. So I asked them about it.

Mom: "Boys, do you remember what Christmas is all about?"
Q&C: "Santa! Presents!"
Mom: "No. What does Christmas celebrate?"
Q&C: "I don't remember". Uh oh. How soon they forget.
Mom: "Is it somebody's birthday?"
Q&C: "Oh! Jesus!" Yes.
Mom: "Jesus wants us to give to OTHERS in celebration of His birthday. It's not about the presents we get."
Colby: "But MOM! Jesus doesn't play with TOYS! He doesn't want these, I do!"
Great. Walmart has more influence over my kids than I do.

Sleep Study

We had a doctor come talk to us last month at our Mothers of Preschoolers group about sleep disorders in children. This doctor mentioned that it is NEVER normal for a small child to snore. Really? Colby has snored since an infant! He cited statistics describing children with poor quality sleep having issues with attention, focus, weight gain, and incontinence at night. HMMMM. Sound like anyone I know?? Anways, I figured it was worth checking out, to see if Colby was suffering from childhood sleep apnea. His sleep study was last night, and I have to say, he hasn't had a WORSE night's sleep in a long time. Colby was such a good boy - it took almost an hour to hook him up, and he sat there patiently, not freaking out in the least when they were strapping sensors all over his body (head, face, ears, finger, chest, legs....). Wires everywhere (probably at least 30!), and every time he turned over once asleep (which was frequent), one or another of them came off. Necessitating the sleep tech to come in, wake him up, and put it back on. Four to five times an HOUR. And, just because we were there in a sleep lab supposedly monitoring for such things... Colby didn't snore. Well, once for a few minutes, but that was it. And I assure you, I was awake most of the night listening for it. These people are probably thinking "What a hypochondriac that mother is"! We'll get official results in a few weeks. I sure hope we didn't waste everyone's time. Not that I hope he HAS sleep apnea. But if he DID, it'd sure be an easy fix by taking out his tonsils.

Semantics

Dad: (while rough housing with Colby) "I smell pee. What stinks?"
Mom: "Colby, did you wet your pants?"
Colby: "No. They WERE wet, but I've worn them long enough so they're dry again now."
Mom: "Go change your pants. Now."

UGH.

Literacy

My boys can READ! It is so exciting. It's just the coolest thing ever. Both boys spent dinner reading to Rob and I from different books. Simple books, but there was actual READING, and sounding out, and all that good stuff. I can't tell you how cool I think that is. Another milestone tonight, when I read the boys Pippi Longstocking at bedtime. There were no PICTURES. They were confused by that at first, but I explained how the pictures to this book were in their heads, and they could make them look like whatever they wanted. They thought Pippi was hilarious, and were laughing at the thought of a little girl carrying a horse. So obviously, they were imagining it all vividly. Just a long-standing dream of mine to be able to read chapter books to my kids at night, and instill a love of reading. And now I get that experience. I'm so blessed. I love being a mom.

For The Record

5 years 4 months stats for little boys:
Quinn - height 44.5 inches, weight 44 pounds. A perfect square.

Colby - height 44.5 inches, weight 41 pounds. A little more of a rectangle.

I know this compliments of various doctors appointments the boys have gone to lately, for completely random reasons.

Science Night at School

Last night was "Science Night" at the boys' school, wherein college students came to teach about various scientific principles. Colby didn't make it, as I didn't think it would look good to miss school but make it to the fun night =). So Quinn and I learned about Gravity and Color. Amazing to me how this little boy, from two introverted parents who wouldn't say "boo" as children, came to be such a confident, center-of-attention type kid. During the gravity talk, Quinn frequently raised his hand to answer questions, and bragged that he could balance a popscicle stick on his nose. While learning about rainbows during the color portion, Quinn importantly raised his hand when asked if anyone knew anything special about rainbows. This was his answer:

Q: "Yes. A rainbow was over our house once. At the end of it was a pot of gold."

When the other kids laughed and said that that only happened on "Leperchaun Day", Quinn got visibly indignant.

Q: "It isn't Leperchaun Day. It's St. Patrick's Day. And the pot of gold is ALWAYS there."

I wish.

The Hair Dressers

The boys often like to fix my hair while I'm doing something (like blogging at the computer ;) ). As long as it doesn't hurt too bad, I let them have their way with it. This morning, they were doing just that, when I felt Colby rub something plastic down the back of my head. I didn't think much of it, until he said the following:

C: "We'll make this hair short, then we can turn you into a boy!"
M: "WHAT?"
C: "I'm using this shaver thing to make your hair short!"
M: "What is that???? Give me that!" It was a razor from the bathroom, with several strands of my hair in it.
C: "Don't you want to be a boy?"
M: "NO! I want to be a girl!"
Q: "If you were a boy, you could be our dad."
M: "You already HAVE a dad. "
Q: "But then we could have TWO dads. A tall dad, and a short dad. You could be the short dad."
M: "I don't WANT to be a dad. I want to be a mom, and I want to be a girl. NEVER shave my head again!"
C: "Sheesh, Mom."
Q: "Whatever."

I am SOOOO unreasonable, I know.

A Wonderful Developmental Step

A first for Colby, and a developmental milestone which we have been AXIOUSLY awaiting for...well.... 5 years. Last night, Colby got up in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom, and then went back to bed!! He's been dry through the night for a WEEK now. This is HUGE. Do you know the time and money we'll save on laundry costs? Do a little dance!!!!! Wooo doggy.

An Evening Out

Because mom has a cold and was more than a little crabby today, Daddy suggested we load up the gang and head to Applebee's for dinner. I didn't object. The boys, however, seemed STUNNED. It was 5:30 pm, and already fully dark.

C: "This is a night time trip! A trip in the dark!"
Q: "I can't SEEEEEE anything out here!"
C: "Mom, the movie store is open at night??? I didn't know any stores were open at night?"
Q: "Can we please drive with the lights on? I can't SEEEE anything!"

I had to think back long and hard, and.... it really HAS been quite awhile since we went anywhere with the kids after dark. They acted like it was the first time ever. My goodness. We were home by 7 pm. It just gets dark early around here!

For the Record

First marking period in kindergarten, and parent teacher conferences this past week. I was a little nervous. The report came back pretty much as expected, though. Fine motor skills not so great, all academics on track. And CANNOT. SIT. STILL. (What, MY boys??????) The teacher, Rob and I brainstormed some ideas to help with the fine motor stuff, and we now have a new, readily accessible craft cart in the kitchen filled with anything their little hearts could possibly desire in order to cut, glue, color, or draw. Rob kept asking the teacher "But you said they're SMART, right? You meant that? You're not just being nice? They're actually SMART?" ;). He SOOOO wants them to be engineers like him! Heck, they're already taking after his handwriting. I'm sure they'll make wonderful engineers. Oh, the other problem the teacher brought up, which of course we have known about since they were babies, is that their dang pants will NOT stay up. Despite adjustable waist bands. Despite belts. Despite everything. The kids don't have BUTTS. I went out and bought them sweats with drawstrings. Those seem to work better than denim at least. Who knew that the fact they don't have rumps would come up on their report cards??????

In God's Image

Sometimes the boys can be so PROFOUND, it shocks me. Because it comes from the mouths of the same children whose favorite words are "poop" and "butt", and cannot seem to keep gum from out of their hair. Anyways. Last night's dinner conversation, instigated by a rain storm outside.

Colby: "Mom, when it rains, does it mean that God's angry?"
Mom: "No! It means God loves his world! He sends rain because the plants are thirsty! He's giving them a drink!"
Colby: "How does God make rain?"
Mom: "I have no idea."
Colby: "He can do ANYTHING."
Mom: "Yup, He can."
Colby: "I can do anything, too, like God."
Mom: "Well, we have rules to follow. And God has power."
Colby: "No! When I play with my toys!"
Mom: "What do you mean?"
Colby: "When I play with my toys, I can make ANYTHING happen, just like God can!"
AHHHHHHH. Imagination. I was starting to get it. Yes.
Rob was staring at Colby during this conversation like he was listening to the Wise Man on the Mountaintop. Obviously dumbfounded. Both of us were. Colby noticed that we were both staring incredulously at him, so he leaned over and gave me a hug.

Colby: (Taking the words right out of my mouth) "Oh, Mom, WHAT are you going to do with me?"
Rob: "I'll tell you what she's going to do. She's going to write down what you said on the computer!"
Rob's getting good at recognizing "bloggable" moments in our life ;)

Bald

Colby got gum stuck in his hair today. In the same exact spot Quinn did less than a month ago. I cut it out, a little too short, and he had a big bald spot in the middle of his forehead. Not good. So I decided to give him a hair cut to "even it out". To even out bald, though, you have to shave pretty close, so I got out my clippers, which are decidedly dull. After 10 minutes, the kid looked HORRIBLE. Bald patches here and there, with long strings elsewhere. AWFUL. Like someone had torn his hair out by the roots. Rob, ever so helpful after the fact, said "why didn't you use peanut butter to get it out, like everyone else does?" OOOHHH. Duh. I called my local hairdresser at home with our hair emergency. She was INCREDIBLY gracious and agreed to fix my son's hair on a Sunday afternoon, at her home. PHEW! Colby now has a very very very close-shaved crew cut, but at least it's all basically one length.

Quinn just came up to me, crying. When I asked what was wrong, he said "But I want to be bald, too!!!"

I'll be making another hair appointment soon, I guess.

Forgery Follow Up

So, Quinn grabbed the check on his way out the door to meet the bus today.

Q: "Mom! I'm going to buy a cookie with this check!"
M: "Quinn, taking that money is stealing, and you wrote my name pretending to be me, which is also lying and forgery. All THREE of those things make Jesus very sad."
Q: "Oh."
M: "So, I'm going to let you make a choice. What are you going to do with that check?"
Q: (pausing for several seconds). "Well....."
M: "Yes?"
Q: "I really want a cookie."

And then the bus came, and off he went, check in tow. SIGH. Failure at the moral lesson. I need to work on the potency of my guilt-trips before puberty hits and the stakes get higher.

After school today, I asked him if he bought a cookie with the check. This is what he said.

Q: "No Mom. I left the check in my folder all day. I didn't buy a cookie with it."

I didn't answer him, but inside I was thinking "yeah yeah yeah!!! The kid DOES have a conscience!!!!"

His First Forgery

Reportedly, the boys' school sells these enormous cookies for $1. I know this, because twelve times a day, they ask me for a dollar, to buy a cookie at school. To which I have always answered "no". I have offered to give them jobs so that they may EARN a dollar, but they have yet to take me up on the offer. Well, today, Quinn went a step further. He took a check out of my checkbook, and told me he was taking it to school to give to the "chef" so he could have a cookie. I told him that was stealing.

Q: "Well, if I ASKED you for the money, you'd say no, so I HAVE to steal it."

Oh my. Where do I start?

M: "Well, even if you gave that check to the chef, they wouldn't give you a cookie, because I haven't signed it."

Q: "OH. Your name has to be on the check?"

M: "Yes. And the amount. "

Q: "Ohhhhhh."

Within minutes, I found THIS check.

All during dinner, Quinn stared at me. I asked him what he was doing.

Q: "I'm keeping my eyes on you."

M: "WHY?"

Q: "Because you're going to take that money back, so I can't get a cookie. You're going to STEAL it!"

M: "It wouldn't be stealing. I would be taking back what was mine. Plus, you committed forgery."

Q: "Borgery?"

M: "Forgery."

Q: "Morgery?"

M: "Forgery."

Q: "Fogerty?"

M: "For-jur-ee. It means pretending to write someone else's name."

Q: "I'm still going to keep my eyes on you. Don't take that check! I'm going to give it to the chef tomorrow at school, and she's going to give me a cookie."

I'm thinking it'll be a valuable lesson to let him TRY to do just that. I just hope they don't think it's cute and give him the cookie anyways. It was hard enough for me to keep a straight face and frown disapprovingly as he wrote the thing out. At least it was good practice spelling.

Sunday School

Tonight's dinner conversation:

Mom: "Boys, what did you learn in Sunday School today?"
C&Q: "I don't remember."
Mom: "Didn't you learn about Elijah?"
Q: "HEY! How did you know that?"
M: "I'm a mom. Who's Elijah?"
C: "He's a guy who has a friend named Sha-lisha"
M: "Elisha?"
C: "Yeah. Elisha. That's hard to say. "
M: "What else?"
C: "Elijah rides a hot horse."
M: "What?"
C: "A hot horse. He rides a hot horse."

I have to admit it took me a few seconds to figure out what he was talking about... then.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hot horse, burning chariot. Riding to heaven in a chariot of fire....
Smile.

Where the Wild Things Are

I took the boys to the movie "Where the Wild Things Are" tonight. There's a scene where Max is leaving his monster friends to go back home to his mom. I look over, and there is Colby, head in his hands, sobbing. Quinn is wiping away tears. Behind us, a little three year old girl is bawling. Across the aisle, I see a grown woman crying. I couldn't help but laugh. Making all the kids and moms cry, this movie. I'm actually glad the boys can empathize with a character. Empathy's a good trait to have, I think.

On a side note, taking an 11 month old baby to a movie is NOT a wise choice. She babbled loudly the entire time - howling each time the monsters on screen did. And squirmed squirmed squirmed. Colby got his foot stuck in the back of the movie chair for a full 30 minutes before I could finally get it out. And Quinn went to the restroom THREE times, and kept talking loudly to me for the duration. Maybe I wasn't as in to the movie, as I didn't get to actually ENJOY it as much as the rest of them. It wasn't as bad as taking all three kids to church with me alone, but it wasn't too far removed.

Waiting at the Computer

I admit - I am a creature of habit. Each morning, I awake before the rest of the family, and sit at the computer to check my email while eating breakfast and blowing my hair dry. It's the routine. So last night, at 2:45 am, I hear a noise. I get up, and there's Colby, sitting in front of my computer.

M: "Sweetie! What are you doing up! It's still night time!"
C: "I'm waiting for you to come to the computer, mom, so I know it's morning!"

He had a LOOONNNG four hour wait in front of him. Obviously, I'm a more reliable indicator of morning than any of our clocks (dead batteries, every last one of them) or the sun (what sun?).

En Espanol

We were drawing letters in the air tonight at dinner, to reinforce their kindergarten lesson. Quinn decides to go a step further, and draw a whole WORD, rather than just a letter. "O" "N" "M".

Q: "What's that spell, Mom?"
M: "Onm. That's not a word."
Q: "Sure it is. It's how a robot says 'beep' in Spanish."
C: "Yeah, you know. Onm, onm, onm. I am a robot."

That Dora the Explorer. She's teaching these kids all kinds of things!

The Shortened Days

On Mondays, both Rob and I work, so the boys stay at school a full day, and then go to an after-school program. The other four days of the week, we've been doing half days, as five full days of school was a little much for them at first. Anyways. Here's what Colby said last night, after a full day at and after school (7:45 am - 5:30 pm)

Colby: "Mom! The days are shorter now!"
Mom: "Oh yeah. The sun goes down sooner now that it's fall."
Colby: "No. They go quicker."
Mom: "What are you talking about?"
Colby: "School used to go on and on and on forever. Now it gets over quick!"
Mom: "OOOOHHHHHH. "

I think he's finally adjusting :).

Naughty Words

Dang impressionable children. Quinn's new favorite word is "crap". He says it constantly.
Quinn: "Crap. I dropped this book."
Quinn: "Crap. I can't find my shoes."
Not to be hypocritical or anything, but I told him he really shouldn't be saying that.
Mom: "Quinn, I know you heard that from me. It's really not nice to say. If you don't say it, I won't say it. If you hear me say it, you tell me that it's not nice, and remind me"
Quinn: "OK. I won't say it anymore. I'll just say what Dad does instead. 'Son of a bitch'."

ADDENDUM: Just caught Quinn saying "crap" again. Rob witnessed it this time.
R (to me): "You must say that an awful lot."
M: "NO! I don't! I swear!"
Q: "Dad says 'Son of a bitch' all day long."
R: "No, only when I'm mad!"
Q: "Remember when you spilled your paint? You said it then. Dad, you need to stop saying that. It's not nice. Next time, just say 'dang it' all day."

Even Teachers Go to School

I know this is the third blog today, but the boys were just chock full of memorable quotes, so thought I'd share.

Colby: "Mom, there's no school on Friday."
Mom: "I know."
Colby: "Because Mrs. Hietila has to go to school."
Mom: "Yup. Teacher's Inservice Day."
Colby: "Poor Mrs. Hietila."

Maybe they've found some common ground, knowing their teacher is subjected to school, too :).

Early For the Bus

We actually were ready in plenty of time to catch the bus this morning, which is not typical at ALL. Standing out in the yard, Quinn kept looking down the road and muttering to himself
"This is so strange. Where's the bus?"
Mom: "We're early Quinn. It'll be here".
Quinn: "This is so strange!"
Mom: "Not really. We're just early."
Quinn: "But the bus isn't here yet. Where's the bus? Strange."

OK. Maybe we should try being early to things a little more often, so it's not so "strange".

Realizations

Quinn: Hey Mom! Guess what?
Mom: What?
Quinn: After school today, Mrs. Hietila left the school with her purse.
Mom: Yeah?
Quinn: She DOESN'T LIVE AT SCHOOL!!!
Mom: I know. Weird, huh?
Quinn: Very strange.

Continuing to Brag on the Boy

OK, I know I already blogged about Colby's good behavior in church. Well, the rest of the day he was just as good, so I thought I needed to give him KUDOS to the world. He just beams when given a compliment, it's so cute. I had the boys clean their playroom, which, as typical, took them FOREVER. When I went in to check, Colby ran around and finished all the last minute things (instead of whining.... what a change!). He then cleaned up all the cars in the basement after I asked him to... THE FIRST TIME. Astounding. He ate all his veggies at dinner, brushed his teeth, and is now sound asleep at 7:30 pm. Quinn had a time-out today for an incident that started out not entirely his fault, but then morphed into a bad scene (involving dirty underpants and "smearing", but we won't go there). Anyways. At dinnertime, I was bragging up Colby to his dad, and Colby said "Yeah, Dad. I was REALLY REALLY good today. Quinn was kind of good. But I was REALLY good." Just so proud of himself. We need to make a big deal out of days like today, so both boys want to do them again and again and again!! Gosh, wouldn't parenting be a breeze if the children were well-behaved???? WHAT would I do with all my spare time???

Proud of the Boy

Just for the record, my son Colby was a GOOD BOY in church today. Some of you may not know what a momentous occasion that is for us - to have either boy behave in church. Today, however, Colby sang the songs, paid attention, stood and sat at appropriate times, and even ignored his brother who was whispering his name from behind to distract him. YEAHHHH COLBY! You da man! He had a rare but well-deserved doughnut after the service in celebration. Maybe this is the beginning of a trend? And maybe he'll be a good example for his brother? I'm not holding my breath.

Pain Thresholds Compared

OK. The kid breaks both bones in his arm, and cries for 30 seconds. He gets gum stuck in his hair, and while I'm cutting it out with scissors, all I hear is "ow! ow! ow! ow! ow!" GEESH.

My Favorite School

This was a conversation we had last night.
Quinn: "Do we have school tomorrow?"
Mom: "No, not until Monday. Tomorrow is Sunday School, though."
Quinn: "Oh yeah! I LOVE Sunday School!"
Mom -- glowing with pride, warm fuzzies floating everywhere -- "Oh good. I'm so glad."
Quinn: "Yeah, it's QUICK. You sing a song, do some writing, do a closing song, and it's OVER."
Mom: deflating at record speeds. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

Musical Improv

The boys were sitting next to each other in the back seat of the van, and having a very difficult time keeping their hands to themselves. I barked something to the effect of "DON'T TOUCH EACH OTHER!" from the front. Quinn complained again that Colby touched him. That's when Colby came back with this song, which he sang perfectly to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down."

C: "I didn't touch your broken arm, broken arm, broken arm. I didn't touch your broken arm. I'm sooooo sorrrrryyyy."

The Benediction

We were making leaf "rubbings" with crayons today. Leaf under paper, rub on top. You know. Anyways, as I was showing the boys the technique, they were VERY impressed.

Q: MOM! You're a benediction!
M: Uh... what?
C: Yeah! A benediction!
M: I don't understand.
Q: That's magic! You're making the leaf appear on the paper! You must be a benediction.
M: OH. Magician?
C: Yeah, that. A MAGICIAN, Quinn.

The Mystery Carrot Man

One of the boys' favorite activities is ringing the doorbell. I am typically not amused. It usually occurs while Reagan is trying to nap. Several times over the past few weeks, I've heard the doorbell ring, and I've ran to open the door to give "the ringer" a stern talking-to, only to find a surprise carrot on my doormat. No boy in sight, but a subtle giggle coming from behind the corner of the house. HOW can you get mad at that? It's like "May Day", but instead of flowers, it's vegetables from my garden. So more like "Harvest Day". Cute. Just wish it wouldn't wake up their sister!!

Recall

THAT'S what it was Quuinn said yesterday in the van. He mentioned it again this morning (thanks for the reminder, kid).

Q: MOM! I see SNOW!
M: That's not snow, it's frost.
Q: Then the snow will come?
M: Soon enough.
Q: I want snow NOW!
M: Not me. Why do you want it to snow so bad?
Q: Because when it snows, then the next day will be CHRISTMAS!

I need to explain to him long and hard that Christmas comes irregardless of snow, so that we don't have fervent little-boy prayers (which are especially potent, I think) going up to God every day, hurrying things along.

Faltering Memory

I hate it when the boys say something hilarious, and then by the time I sit down at the computer, I can't remember what it was. These are priceless treasures they're giving me here, and my sieve of a brain can't hold on to them long enough to write them down! The kids and I went to the library after school today, and I distinctly remember both boys saying something truly precious while in the van. For the life of me, I cannot recall what they said right now. DANG.

From the Mouths of Babes

Colby: "Mom! Use your inside voice when you're yelling at us to be quiet!"

Sleeping With Poptarts

While changing the sheets on Colby's bed yesterday, I discovered a half eaten pop-tart. I asked him about it at dinner.

C:"Oh yeah, I wasn't done eating it when it was bed time, so I took it to bed with me."
Dad: "It's a good thing you didn't wet the bed. There'd be pee on your Pop Tart."
C: "Hee hee hee. Then I'd have to wash it with water!"
Q: "And use soap!"
C: "Quinn, stop it!! That'd be gross to eat a Pop Tart with soap on it!"

URINE on a Pop Tart, though..... not a problem.

Whatever.

Overheard at the Emergency Room

I was in Las Vegas during Quinn's visit to the Emergency Room, so only heard bits and pieces of what happened. So when COLBY ended up in the Emergency Room yesterday to get stitches in his chin, I finally got to interview the doctor's and nurses first hand (wasn't THAT convenient???) The triage nurse who took down Colby's info asked me "Didn't you have another son in here a few days ago?" Uhhhh... yeah. She filled me in.

"He came in here with his left arm all twisted and bleeding, goes up to the doctor, points to his arm, and says 'It's THIS one that hurts, not the other one.' Like we couldn't figure that out!!" That's my son. Always so helpful!

So then the doctor comes into the room, looks at Colby and starts explaining that she's going to have to get out a needle and thread and sew his chin up. She's speaking very gently and carefully, like she doesn't want to scare him. He just says "Oh, I've had stitches before. On my lip when I fell out of my bunk bed." There's no scaring the Aho boys. They've been through it all.

A Rough Night

Quinn is having a rough night tonight - his first night with a broken arm, sans morphine. I tried Tylenol, and now Tylenol with codeine. He crawled into bed with me at 11:30, and has been whimpering silently, tossing and turning for the past 5 hours. I elevated his arm, stroked his swollen little fingers. Nothing seemed to be helping. Finally, I got up, and tried rocking him like the baby he once was. It calmed him a bit, but sleep didn't return. Finally, I heard him say
"Mom, maybe milk will do the trick. You said milk will make my bones strong and help them heal."

M: "Good idea, Quinn. Let's try some milk." I poured him a glass and brought it to him, which he swallowed in big gulps.
Q: "Yup. I feel my bones getting fixed right now."
M: "It's going to take a little longer than that for the bone to heal, buddy."
Q: "How long? Like Monday?"
M: "Longer, sweetie."
Q: "Tuesday?"
M: "Think more like Halloween."
Q: "Oh. Halloween." He's silent then. But the medicine must've be kicking in, because he wasn't squriming anymore, and he stopped whimpering.
M: "I think you need to try and get some sleep. That will help the bone heal, too."

He's trying now, lying in my bed with a pillow under his swollen, purplish fingers, but I think codeine tends to wake him up rather than knock him out. I remember as a baby, when he had his kidney removed, it had the same effect. He's wide awake. So is Reagan, since she heard us rocking in the chair outside her bedroom door. It's going to be a looooonnnnnggg night, I think.
I heard him say, as he tried to wiggle his fingers "Look, mom. The medicine made my thumb work, but not the other ones! They still move slow." Poor little guy! I feel so helpless! I just want to take it all away!

One Last Day At the Beach

The summer is quickly melting into fall. The leaves are already turning orange. Time to cram in one more beach day before having to break out the winter clothes!!

The Ferris Wheel

At the fair this past weekend, the boys were MORE than a little nervous at the top of the ferris wheel. Quinn kept saying "Mom, I hope you're REALLY good at Ferris Wheels!" And Colby, when I removed my arm from around his shoulders said "Mom, you put that arm right back!!!" They warmed to it quickly, though, once we started moving. Is that any surprise?

Colby, today while we were practicing soccer, bumped his lip into the back of Quinn's head. There was no blood, but definite puffiness. He just asked me if he has "mommy lips" now. Cute :)

What the Future Holds

Apparently, Quinn has aspirations of living in a hotel someday. He's a tad indecisive about whether he wants to live in Houghton OR a hotel. A big one, with beds that he can jump between, and a pool with a waterslide. Decisions decisions decisions.

What Pirates Eat

We were in charge of snacks today for the soccer game, which ended up getting cancelled due to rain. On the way to the flooded soccer fields, I asked the boys what we should bring.

Colby: "Poptarts!"
Quinn: "Blueberry Pie!"
Mom: "Uhhhh.... those are 'slow foods'. We need some 'go foods'. Something healthy."
C&Q: "MOOOOOOMMMMM! Treats aren't supposed to be healthy!!!!!"
Colby: "I know! Let's bring tofu!"
Mom: "Tofu????"
Colby: "Yeah! That's what pirates eat!"
Mom: "Pirates eat tofu?"
Colby: "Yup."

I am absolutely positive that my boys do not know what tofu really is. They just know that a pirate wouldn't be caught DEAD eating anything healthy!!!

Kindergarten Is Coming

The boys are SOOOOO excited about kindergarten. Yesterday, they packed their lunch boxes. Two weeks early. Afterwards, Colby ran through the house yelling "I'm so essited! I'm so essited!" (Translation: essited = excited, but when you're that excited, who can stop their tongue long enough to form an "x"?)

No Colbys Allowed

Colby was crying. Inconsolably. When I asked why, he said that Quinn had made a sign, and he wasn't allowed in the food pantry.

Mom: "NEITHER of you are allowed in the food pantry. " I checked out the alleged sign.

Mom: "Colby, do you see your name on that sign?"

Colby: "No."

Mom: "Then it doesn't say what Quinn says it does, so there's no reason to cry."

Quinn: "YES MOM, it DOES! See?" (pretending to sound things out as he traced the letters with his fingers) "N-n-o-o C-c-olby's allowed, only M-o-mmy and D-a-ddy and Quinn."

Colby: "WAAAAAHHHHHH"

Mom: "Quinn, where is Colby's name on that sign?"

Quinn: "Uh, right here?" Yeah - maybe in Russian.

Mom: "Quinn is not allowed any place that Colby is not allowed, and I'm here to tell you that NEITHER of you are allowed in the pantry."

May we get on with life now???

Lego Booby-traps and the Toy Monster

In an effort to get the boys to clean their room, we have invented the "toy monster". If, after a designated and very generous amount of time, there are still toys on the floor, the Toy Monster (aka my old suitcase) comes into the room and eats them. This generally causes much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Good behavior then causes the toy monster to "burp" back out one toy at a time. Anyways. It worked a few times. So yesterday, we were up cleaning their room, getting nowhere, and I warned about the toy monster. Instead of frantically picking their toys up, as I had hoped, they started making little lego bombs, and little lego guns, and setting BOOBY TRAPS for the toy monster. They were going to take him head on! No Toy Monster was going to blackmail THEM into picking up their toys!!! Mean Mommy spontaneously invented a new rule to the game: boys are not allowed to FIGHT the Toy Monster. Quinn, especially, thought this was totally unfair.

Mom: "Why don't you just pick up your toys, instead of spending all this time and effort trying to FIGHT the toy monster?"
Quinn: "Is he here yet? I want to fight him."
Mom: "No. That's not allowed. The Toy Monster will always win."
Quinn: "oh well. If he eats my toys, I can always earn them back."
THAT was his plan for cleaning his room? Letting the toy monster eat everything, and then, when he wants to play with something, do one good thing and earn them back one at a time??? How did my son get so conniving? I told him that maybe the toy monster wouldn't burp anything back up, and that maybe he would donate the toys to a needy family instead.
Colby: "That's silly mom. EVERYONE has toys!"
Mom: "No they don't. You're very lucky, you have toys. But not all kids have toys."
Colby: "Yes they do. Don't tease me!"

Maybe the toy monster really SHOULD donate some excess toys to a worthy child, who would take better care of them! There are multiple very important lessons to be learned here!

Grass Monsters

Rob mowed the field out back, which meant Mom and boys HAD to go on a "bear hunt". Didn't find any bears, but did catch a glimpse of a few grass monsters...

Concoctions

Recipe for Twin Juice:

Dump the following ingredients into an old margarita bucket:

5 raspberries, picked from the woods

1 whole apple, minus a single bite

1 can Diet Coke

1 can Diet Sierra Mist

1/2 a bag of Splenda

1 Packet Crystal Light Lemonade crystals

Stir together with Mom's Frosting Gun for cake decorating, and drink ad lib. Yum Yum Yum.

Snack Time

The boys made themselves a snack yesterday. Toasted jam, ketchup, and cheese sandwiches. YUM YUM.

The Power of Marketing

My children are far from neat. They have most likely inherited my genes in this regard, for which I pity them (and myself) daily. Quinn, perhaps to put off bedtime last night, decided to surprise me by washing his bathroom sink.
"MOM! Come down here! I have to show you something!"
"Come upstairs and show me! It's bedtime!"
"No! It's down here! Come look!"
A few questions later, and I discovered he had wiped the sink clean.
"Good job, buddy! I'm proud of you!"
"Hey Mom. Did I use KaBoom, or Oxiclean?"
"WHAT?"
"How did I clean the sink? With KaBoom or Oxiclean?"
"Well, you used Clorox wipes, I guess. How do you know about KaBoom and Oxiclean?"
"TV".
Of course. TV.

General Absolution

This has been a hard few weeks for us. The summer has been cold, the boys were confined to the house for several days with impetigo, and now that the quarantine is lifted, all of the boys' friends are gone or busy. They are BORED, which means that destruction and fighting occurs much more frequently than mom would like. And my patience is growing very very thin. I was talking to them last night at bedtime about what it means to be a good boy, and how Mom doesn't LIKE yelling all the time, but that seems to be the only way they will listen to me! Colby looked at me solemnly, and said "I'm sorry Mom. I'm sorry for a long long time ago when I broke my toy, and I'm sorry for coloring on the wall, and I'm sorry for coloring the van. " Quinn piped in "I'm sorry, too". Just in general. For everything they could've possibly done. It helps to hear, and I'm glad they apologized. I just hope it means that it stops, because I can't take much more!!!

Oatmeal's Last Conversation

Colby, talking to his oatmeal as he's pouring the packet into his bowl: "Good morning, friends! I'm going to eat you! Bye bye lovies!"

Genders

Colby: "When Reagan grows up and gets hair, he'll turn into a GIRL!"

Snippets Again

Quinn (on the way to the doctors): "Are we going to the hospital?"
Mom: "No, it's just at the doctor's office."
Quinn: "GOOD! The hospital is the Shot Shop!!"

Maladies

Another childhood malady checked off the list.... Quinn has impetigo. Pleasant. Weeping sores EVERYWHERE (feet, legs, hands, hips, head). His ignorant mother has been watching this for the past few weeks, and thinking that they were bug bites that he had scratched. Except I FINALLY noticed yesterday that these "bug bites" weren't starting out as welts... they were starting out as weeping blisters, coming out of nowhere. He looks like he's been attacked by a flesh-eating microbe (which, technically I suppose, he has - it's a staph infection). Anyways, a 5 minute doctor's appointment was all it took to diagnose and get on antibiotics. NOW I have to explain why he can't finish up Vacation Bible School, and why he has to cover up the weeping sores for the time being. He's a walking one-man plague, this kid. So, as of last official count, one or both of the boys have experienced the following: impetigo, croup, bronchiolitis, ear infection, scarlet fever, and strep throat; as well as various stitches for wounds sustained from falling, crashing, and impaling themselves with sharp objects. Last night, Colby told me, when I was lamenting the state of their banged-up skin, "It's allright Mom. None of it HURTS!" That, my friend, is the problem. You all don't feel a thing, so you have no qualms about continuing to destroy your little selves!!! Will we survive????

ADDENDUM: Did I say one boy had Impetigo? I was wrong. Now both. Just to make it all the more fun around here. Not a big surprise, given that they eat, sleep, bathe, and breathe together.

Colby's Great Adventure

The boys are attending Vacation Bible School this week, and it must be sinking into their psyches. Quinn, when presenting me a cup to take a sip of his latest concoction (coke + diet sierra mist), solemnly said "THIS is the Body of Christ". Colby spent a good 15 minutes SOLID telling us about his visit to Heaven with Jesus, which he had while Quinn was on his canoe trip with Dad. It was precious, albeit one ginormous whopper of a fib. It just went on and on and on (did YOU know that Jesus has a special "Hot Wheel" room up in Heaven, and is especially partial to water slides?????) I finally grabbed the video camera to capture the last half of his tale, because it was so elaborate, it made Quinn whine several times "But I want to go to Heaven and be with Jesus, too!!!!!" Usually dinner conversations consist of topics like poopie baby diapers and burping, so this was actually an amusing change of pace.

The Baby Translator

Quinn: "Mom, why doesn't Reagan talk?"
Mom: "Because she doesn't know English yet."
Quinn: "Oh. But she KNOWS things."
Mom: "Like what?"
Quinn: "She knows when it's breakfast, lunch and dinner!"

Yup. Guess no one has to teach her that!! Oh wise belly.

Lessons from a Chinese Restaurant

Confuscious says "Heed my warning..... Even though it keeps little boys busy until the food comes, do NOT let them drink unlimited amounts of tea. You WILL pay for it afterwards, once the caffeine hits their brains. "

Last Night At Dinner

Quinn had gotten in trouble yesterday, as he tried to crawl up the stroller in the garage to get a juice box from a high shelf, and the entire shelf came tumbling down. After the punishment and tears, we had a discussion about how he needed to ASK for food, and not just help himself. He wanted to know WHY.

M: "Because the food is mommy's and daddy's. We bought it with our money. Do YOU have money to buy food?"
Q: "No. But I'm five now! I'm big! I can get my own food."
M: "No. You're bigger than you were at four, but you still have to ask for food."
Q: "When I grow up, I'm going to go to the bar store and get my own."
M: "Bar store?"
Q: "Yes. The bar."
M: "UHHHH... where'd you get that?"
Q: "From you!" I'm pretty sure I haven't been hanging out in bars lately.
M: "What are you talking about?"
Q: "When you're hungry, you go to the bar."
M: "Still don't know what you're talking about!"
Q: "You go to the cupboard and get a breakfast bar, and YOU don't ask anyone for it!"
M: "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH. My BREAKFAST bars!"
Q: "Yes. When I'm grown up, I'm going to get my own."
M: "OK"
C: "And when I'm grown up, I'm going to get my own juice!"
M: "Fine".

Overheard

Colby (looking at a box of our church's offering envelopes): "What are these?"
Quinn: "Jesus bills".

Snippets

Quinn (eating spaghetti squash for the first time): "MOM, this dinner is SCRUMPTIOUS!"
Mom: "Scrumptious?"
Colby: "It means yummy. And crunchy."
Mom: "Where'd you hear that word?"
Quinn: "On TV."

---------------------------
Mom: "Boys, I told you NOT to run through the kitchen when I have a hot pan on the stove!!!"
Quinn: "GEEZ, Mom, don't grit your teeth like that!"
-------------------------------
Mom: "Enough silliness boys! If I have to tell you again to behave at the table, dinner will be over and you will go straight to bed!"
Quinn: "Mom, use your inside voice."

Now That We're Five... Part 2

On the way to church today:

Q: "Dad, now that I'm five, I'm going to do instruction like you."
R: "You mean CONstruction?"
M: "What would you build?"
C: "I'm going to build a HOT WHEEL church!!"

I bet there'd be a line of boys a mile long to get into THAT church ;)

Now That We're Five

Quinn and Colby are assuming great things, now that they're five. This is just a sampling of what I've heard today:

Q: "MOM! I need to eat with the big fork like you. I'm 5 now!"

C: (putting his hand on top of his head) "Now that I'm 5, I'm this tall!"

Q: "I'm going to sleep downstairs with you because I'm 5 now."
M: "No. Upstairs."
Q: "BUT I'M FIVE!!!"

C: "Is the bus coming today?"
M: "No. Why?"
C: "I'm 5 now!"

Q: (upon learning that we would be walking in the parade with his preschool teacher) "I don't know her anymore! I'm 5!"

Q: "Mom, I'm going to help you make dinner now. I'm 5."

I'm thinking that being five equates to being "grown up" in the little boys' heads. They are growing up. A little too fast.

Getting Away With Things

I catch my boys "in the act" frequently. I try to be diligent. I often find, however, that they've gotten away with alot more than I would've originally thought. The pop-tarts under the pillow thing, for example.... I caught them once, and thought it was an isolated incident. As I was changing their sheets this past weekend, I discovered that it wasn't. There was an ENTIRE BOX worth of wrappers behind Quinn's bed, as well as fruit snack wrappers, and Nutrigrain bar wrappers. And under the guest bed. And in the space between Colby's mattress and the wall. HOLY COW! How long had this been going on? No WONDER they've been going to bed so easily lately!!! The same thing happened at the end of school. I had caught them once putting HotWheel cars in their backpacs to take to school, and patted myself on the back for interceding in time. While we were on vacation in Spokane, their preschool teacher returned an entire diaper-box full of toy cars that had escaped my not-so-watchful eye. WHAT she must think of me, I have no idea. They take constant surveillance, these devious little boys!

The Sound Of Mom's Voice

I was singing tonight while cooking dinner. Quinn was not amused.

Quinn: "MOM! Stop that singing before you break all these glass bowels!"

Geez. Thanks.

Canoeing with Daddy

Colby and Dad went canoeing last Friday. This was the view from the back of the canoe. Pretty darn cute, I'd say.

The Sweet Tooth Fairy

I had to work last night, and didn't get home 'til 9 pm. After picking the kids up at my in-laws, I carried them, half asleep, into their beds. I rearranged Quinn's pillow to plop him down and.... TADA! Poptarts! Two of the cherry kind. "You little turkey!" I told him, as I took the poptarts downstairs. As I'm bringing up the next boy, I heard crying from the first. I asked him why he's crying.

"Because Colby has poptarts under HIS pillow, too!!" Sure enough. Two more. Colby was mortified that Quinn would rat him out in this manner. "QUINN!! You're not supposed to tell!!!"

UGH. That was a close call. ALL I need is two 4 year olds on sugar-highs an hour past bed-time!

Stranger Danger

Quinn had an unfortunate first today. Both boys had been playing outside, when Colby fell and split his lip open. Quinn dutifully brought his injured brother inside, and while I was tending to the blood, went back outside. I put ice on Colby's lip, made him lunch, went about my business, and then realized that Quinn should also eat lunch. So I called for him. No answer. Went outside, called again. No answer. Ran around the yard, screaming for him. Nowhere to be found. I was getting a little panicky. I actually checked the trunk of the car, afraid he might've climbed in there to play and got shut inside. Luckily, that wasn't the case. But WHERE was he? I searched for about 20 minutes, and then told Rob I was leaving in the van to see if he had wandered down the road. I got to the neighbor's house (about the equivalent of a city block away) when I saw him there in their yard. These are neighbors we have never met before - a mom and little boy. The mom said that Quinn had wandered over when he saw her son and his cousin riding their bikes by our house. Was it okay if he stayed to play and have lunch? I said yes, but inside I was thinking "you CANNOT do this, little boy!!! I was scared to death!" About an hour later, Colby and I walked over and brought him home. On the way back, both Colby and I scolded him about leaving the yard without supervision, talking to strangers, and going inside a stranger's house! Quinn just looked at me and said "But mom! They weren't strangers! They were Pastor and Locust! I know them now!" Pastor and Locust? It took me a second to realize what he was talking about. The mother had said that the boys' names were Patrick and Logan.
We need to have more talks on what does and does not consistute a stranger!!!

Kids' Day

I was telling the boys about Father's Day coming up.

M: "You know how you made me a card and gave me a flower for Mother's Day? Well, this Sunday is Father's Day... just for Daddy."
Q&C: "Oh. We made you breakfast. We gave you tea."
M: "Yes."
Q: "Wait a minute. When's KIDS Day?"
M: "Every day is kids day."
Q: "No. I know. CHRISTMAS is Kids Day. Jesus' birthday and Kid Day."
M: "OK".

Summer Fun

A knight (Sir Tobin the Mighty), a Spiderman, a Black Power Ranger, and well... a Zac went for a walk through the enchanted forest today in search of the Castle In the Clouds. They were accompanied by Princess Elli and Princess Reagan, and two Wicked Witches ("Don't hit each other with sticks! Stay on the trail! Don't get too far ahead!"). A beautiful day for a walk, I must say, despite being attacked by MULTITUDES of ticks and mosquitos. A thorough tick-check back at the castle revealed SEVEN on Colby, 0 on Quinn, 2 on Mom, about 5 on Renata, and luckily none on the babies. We were looking down our shirts at every itch the rest of the afternoon. Anyways. Here's a picture of the Castle In the Clouds, that the Dragon (Morgan) eventually led us to. There's no way of keeping five kids still for a picture in one of these things.

Quotes From The Road

I obviously didn't have my computer and an internet connection with me in the Buick on the way out West recently, so wrote down some classics from all my boys. Picture a sedan loaded down with two adults, 3 children, 3 car seats, 5 suitcases, 2 bags full of toys, a giant backpack full of food, a diaper bag, plus miscellaneous paraphenalia, for three 10 hour days. Here's what you get....

Quinn: "Mom, can I have a juice box yet?"
Mom: "No."
Quinn: "Why not?"
Mom: "We haven't left our driveway."
-------------------------------------------------
Colby & Quinn: "Are we there yet?" 20 minutes into the trip.
--------------------------------------------------
Rob: "Well, there hasn't been any screaming or fighting yet on the trip."
Mom: "Yeah, I think it helps having the boys separated by Reagan."
Rob: "No. I was meaning US."
----------------------------------------------------
Upon hearing a Veggie Tales character on the laptop say the word 'hate', which is considered profanity in our household....
Quinn: "Mom, don't wash the computer's mouth out with soap. It will break it."
----------------------------------------------------
Colby (numerous times): "Mom, Dad said 'stupid'! Wash his mouth out with soap!"
----------------------------------------------------
Rob: "Look boys! Mountains!"
Quinn: "Those mountains are covered with trees."
Colby: " Not that! Those are hills. Behind the trees! Covered with snow!"
Quinn: " Those aren't mountains. Those are clouds."
Rob: "Nope. Those are mountains. They reach right up to the clouds."
Quinn: "Dad, I've never been there before!"
It's amazing how you can miss a topography, a terrain. I remember when 1st moving to Michigan, looking at the horizon and thinking the clouds were mountains, because I'd never lived anywhere without them on the horizon. Now I see mountains and think they're clouds, just like my son. Kinda sad.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Quinn and Colby: "Are we there yet?" Now every 5 minutes apart. Like clockwork. Like labor pains.
Mom: "No. No. No. No. No."
Quinn and Colby: "Are we almost there?"
Mom: "Yes! Almost!"
C: "DAD! WE'RE ALMOST THERE!"
Quinn: "MOM! You said we're almost there!!!"
Colby: "Quinn, we're almost there!!!!"
That last 10 minutes went by R.E.A.L.L.Y. slowly

A Picture from Grandma

Was looking at the pictures on my in-law's camera today, and came across this one. It made me laugh.

Lessons That Sink In

Tonight, while reading a bedtime story, Colby asks out of the blue if the main character "has Jesus living in his heart".
M: "Um, I don't know. I'm assuming so."
Q: "So, he's been baptized?"
M: "I don't know."
C: "Because that's how Jesus comes to live in your heart."
M: "Yes. I'm sure Jesus is in Mr. Gloomy's heart".
C&Q: "Oh. Good."

JUST when you think they're not listening.... they pop off with something like this :).

Introductions

I guess I've never really observed the boys introducing themselves to new kids before. We were at the park today enjoying our 90 DEGREE WEATHER(!!!!), when Quinn and Colby approached another little boy.

Q: "I'm Quinn, and he's Colby."
C: "I'm Colby, and he's Quinn."
Q&C: "We're brothers!"
Q&C: "We're twins!"
Q&C: "We're the same! Right Mom?"
Mom: "You're the same but different."
Q&C: "We're the same!"

Meanwhile, the other little boy appeared to care less, just so long as there was SOMEONE to go down the slide with.

Don't know why I found that interaction so interesting, but I really did. Maybe it's because they're now aware that they're twins, and that twins are somehow out of the ordinary, which I don't think they've realized much before this. They are surrounded everywhere they go by other identical twin boys - our friends the Sommervilles have twin boys, and there's a set of boys in their preschool class. Their Sunday school class has two sets of identical twins and one set of identical triplets. Multiples are just status quo around here!!! So it was fascinating for me to see them identify themselves so immediately as "twins", and insist on their "sameness", when all I can see is how different they are!

Backpack Inventory

It's a good thing I checked the boys backpacks tonight. Tomorrow I rush off to work, and the babysitter gets them on the bus, so there wouldn't have been the chance to remove the following items:

1- three-hole punch
1 - Spiderman squirt gun
12 - permanent black markers
1 - full box of bandaids
30 - Matchbox racing cars
1 - ball point pen

Don't know what the plan was for all of those things, but it couldn't have been good.

The Face of Filth

OHMYGOODNESS!!! What in the world, Colby????

"Just playing in the sandbox, Mom." JUST? With your entire face??? I love our world without snow, but we are now firmly entrenched in dirt season, and I have this nagging feeling that the work load will just keep going up and up and up.

Twin Juice

I was in the living room this morning, enjoying the sunrise, when Rob walks in.
"They're getting into trouble in the kitchen."
Oh no. What are they doing?
"Putting sugar in water and drinking it."
I called for them to stop.
"It's okay Mom! It's sweet! It tastes good! We're making juice"
I shudder to think what church is going to be like this morning, knowing they're doing sugar shots in there.
I told the boys it wasn't really juice, because there wasn't any FRUIT in there. "Ohhhhhhh".
30 seconds later, Rob says "Why are you giving them permission to cook by themselves?"
I didn't! I swear!
Both boys came in and showed me their "special treat juice". They'd thrown a whole strawberry, stem and all, into the sugar water. Great. That's MUCH better.

God In My Nose

Tonight after bedtime prayers, Quinn breathed hard onto his hand.
Q: " Mom, why can't we see air?"
M: "Air is like God. We can't see Him, but if we pay attention, we can feel Him."
Q: "Oh. " Silence while Mom basks in the glory of a perfect lesson well-received. Then Quinn starts breathing hard in and out.
M: "What are you doing?"
Q: "God's in my nose right now." Breathes in. "Now he's in my mouth." Breathes out. Repeats several times.
M: " No no no. God is LIKE air. God isn't actually air."
Q: (Continuing to breathe hard) "God's in my belly. Now he's in my nose again."

Ok. He's too young for analogies. We need to stick to the basics.

I need to Clean My Bedroom More Often

Quinn: "Whoa, Mom. It's all shiny and clean-y in here."

OK OK OK. I know it's bad that he was so surprised about that.

The Food Chain

Current favorite barrage of questions from the tykes: "Who eats who?"

"Mom, who eats frogs?" (alligators) "Who eats grasshoppers?" (birds?) "What do dogs eat?" (dog food. NO! Deer carcasses!) "What do cows eat?" (grass) "What do dinosaurs eat?" (meat eaters eat plant eaters, plant eaters eat plants. "Not little boys?" No, dinosaurs are dead. "WHAT?") "What do crocodiles eat?" (pirate's hands).

It's been non-stop. I've really had to think, because I don't KNOW who eats an owl, even though I do know what owls EAT.

Curiosity is a good thing, but it is all a bit morbid for four year olds.

Rest Time

Nap times are few and far between these days, but every once in awhile I can entice the boys down for a rest with the lure of an exotic location. Today's "shut eye locale" was the trampoline. It would've worked, too, if the darn thunder hadn't woken them up and scared them indoors!!

Guess The Surprise

This morning I was telling the boys about a "surprise" we would have after school. I'll let you in on the secret - we're going to the circus! This is the boys, trying to guess.

Q: "Where are we going?"
M: " It's a surprise!"
C: "Is it a picnic?"
M: "No."
Q: "Is it a cookie?"
M: "No."
C: "Is it a hot dog?"
Q: "Is it a swimming pool?"
C: "Is it a big building?"
Q: "Is it a hotel?"
M: "No. I'll give you a hint. It has something to do with your last year's birthday cake, but it's not food"
C: "It's a birthday!"
M: "No."
C: "It's GOD'S birthday!"
M: "No. Think about your cake."
C: "It's a CAKE!"
M: "NO.... it's not food!"
C: "I don't know!"

It took FOREVER for them to remember that last year they had a circus tent cake, and to figure out that we're going to go to the circus. SHEESH!! I thought it was a pretty good clue!

Thanks ALOT

Colby was snuggling on my lap this evening, and I was eating it up. He just doesn't want to sit on his mommy's lap so much anymore, he's getting to be such a big boy. Anyways, as I was basking in the glow of motherhood, Colby pats my belly.

C: "Oh, mom! There's another baby in here!"
M: "Uhhh... no. Just left over flab from the last baby."
C: "There needs to be TWO babies".
M: "Why?"
C: "Reagan needs a friend!"
M: "Talk to your father about that one."
C: "It looks like there's another baby inside your belly."

Thanks ALOT. I really AM trying to lose this baby weight!!!! It's just slow going. Maybe because chocolate keeps stalking me and insisting on jumping into my mouth.....

Hard of Hearing

Both boys have been saying "WHAT?" all day. Continuously. After every single thing I say. Quinn kept asking "what's that sound? What's that beeping? Oh, it's my heart". Colby has been plain ignoring me. My frustration level was rising considerably, when it occurred to me that it's time to clean the boys' ears out. I told Quinn as much, after the last time he responded "WHAT??", while sitting all of 10 inches from my mouth.

Mom: "You don't hear anything I'm saying today, do you?"
Quinn: "WHAT?"
Mom (speaking very loudly directly into his ear): "WE NEED TO CLEAN YOUR EARS OUT!"
Quinn: "OHHHHH. The sound waves aren't getting into my ears because there's too much dirt!".

What a smart boy I have. And what dirty ear canals HE has.

Time To Switch Bathrooms

Evidence that Mom needs to remove her stuff from the boys' bathroom...

#1: A year-old used pregnancy test announcing the pending arrival of Baby Reagan (kept because I'm a sentimental fool) was used this afternoon as a bubble wand

#2: Items used to "fix mom's hair" today included a cheese grater, the base to an electric toothbrush, a hairblower, and a tampon.

#3: A bottle of shampoo was used as bubble juice outside.

Great.

Future Floorplans

My next house is going to have an indoor track. Or at least some circular, unobstructed path. THIS house is built like the digestive system of a worm (you all remember middle-school biology, I'm sure) with one long alimentary canal and little pockets of rooms bulging out to either side. This unfotunately lends itself to high-speed chases from front door to back. I'm currently sitting in the living room watching the blurs go by at high speeds - back and forth, back and forth, with flat little duck feet. In nothing but their skivvies.

Brotherly Love

It's past 10 pm, and I just put the baby to bed. Colby's mattress in Reagan's room, his bed for the last few months, was empty. The couch, where he often ends up during the night, was empty. My bed - another favorite destination - was also empty. WHERE was Colby? After a thorough search of the house, I located him. In bed with his brother, sleeping soundly. Can they not stand to be apart even for a NIGHT? Come on!

Insects

After work today, Colby told me about the "spagitos" that "bite your blood". True 'nuf. He had a huge "spagito" bite on his neck to prove it. I hate "spagito" season nearly as much as I hate 9 months of winter up here.

Saw Blades

Quinn and Colby were playing "karate chop" in the shower last night. Mom intervened.

Q: "But MOM! I need to break a board!"
M: "That would be really hard."
Q: "No it wouldn't. I'll grow my toenails out until they're really long and sharp, and they'll just cut right through!"

Quite the plan. Disgusting, but logical.

Independence... the good kind

Spring break is over, and we're back to the rush rush rush of getting ready for school in the morning. Reagan had a doctor's appointment first thing, so I had to take my shower before the boys left on the bus, rather than afterwards as I usually do. After my shower, I realize that it's 8:00!! They aren't dressed or fed yet, those little men! I panic, and start yelling down into the basement (where I assume they are) to HURRY UP! Let's eat! The bus will be here in 15 minutes!!! No one answered me from the basement. Irritated, I used my "stern Mom voice".
"Boys! Get up here NOW! We have to eat breakfast!"

Still no answer. Know why? Those good little boys were in the kitchen, eating the breakfast they had made themselves -- peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They hadn't gotten themselves dressed, but then again, Dad had let them sleep in their school clothes last night since Mom was at MOPS, and they assumed they already WERE dressed. Who needs a mother these days?????

Not Playing Favorites

Just noticed that my last several blog entries are all about the funny things Quinn says. I'm not playing favorites. He just comes up with things that make me laugh, because he views the world in such a unique way. I may not document it as much, but Colby spends most of HIS time laughing and corroborating what Quinn says. If he were capable of writing this blog, I think he'd be writing down the same things I am.

Colby's World

Quinn was telling me this morning about "Colby's World", where he apparently paid a visit yesterday. I asked him what "Colby's World" was. He just said "you know, when you turn round and round like a tornado until everything spins. That's Colby's World".

I find that intriguingly perceptive, and frighteningly accurate.

Frozen Quinn

Quinn went outside and grabbed a handful of our quickly-disappearing snow, and dubbed it his "pet Quinn". His pet snow now lives in our freezer, to be saved from what would've certainly been a liquid fate if left outdoors. He just told me that "Quinn is still frozen". He's been checking on his snow-pet regularly, to make sure he's still okay. Funny.

Courtesy of Boomerang

Quinn's new favorite expression... "Jumping JumpingJacks!!" I had no idea what that was all about... until I heard "jumping jehosophat" from some snaggle-puss or other from Cartoon Network's Boomerang... circa 1960 or so. OK then.

Humming

Cool moment in my life... just caught Quinn singing the song I wrote Reagan for her baptism. It was just in his head as he was blowing bubbles outside. Don't know why that makes me feel so good, but it does :)

The Recycling Easter Bunny

After finding his Easter basket this morning, Quinn suddenly stopped and said "HEEEYYYY... wait a minute! This is the same basket as LAST year!" I had to think fast...
"Oh, yeah. I set out the baskets from last year for the Easter bunny to reuse this year." So Earth friendly here. Mom is still up by one point. I don't know how much longer I WILL stay ahead of these boys, though. The Easter Bunny apparently left a bag full of grass and the wrappings/price tags for all the fun stuff in the boys' baskets on the coffe table by mistake. It made quite the stir this morning, as the boys thought there were such things as Easter Bags as well as baskets. Nope. Just an over-tired rabbit that didn't put things in the trash where they belonged!!!

A Special Dinner

Quinn is very into the "Cars" calendar he got for Christmas, and locates our "number" every day. Today is 9, on the month of "Doc" (that translates to "April 9th", for all you people using a traditional calendar). Tonight at dinner, he kept telling us that tomorrow was 10, and that meant he got a SPECIAL DINNER!

Dad: "No, you mean 12 is the special dinner. That's Easter."
Quinn: "Today is 9. Tomorrow is 10. 10 is the special dinner."
Mom: "No, the special dinner is in 3 days. Easter is in 3 days."
Quinn: "NO! 10 is the special dinner!"
Mom and Dad, to each other: "WHAT is he talking about???"
Quinn (hauling a stool into the pantry): "I'll show you."
Mom: "What are you doing in the pantry? Come back to the table."
Quinn: "It's my special dinner for 10!!"

Quinn climbed up on a stool in the pantry, and came out with two cans of Spaghettios. Tomorrow is 10, which means mom is at work, and Dad cooks dinner. Or opens a can of Spaghettios, which the boys haven't had in about 2 years. And which he is obviously looking forward to more than any old Easter dinner!!

A Dubious First

The Offense: A Miscellaneous Child was heard uttering the phrase "Stupid Mom" while speaking to his brother

The Perp: Originally, "The Law" (aka "Stupid Mom") thought it was Quinn who had committed the crime. He pled not-guilty very convincingly, and fingered his brother. Colby pled not-guilty very un-convincingly. Later, he was overheard confessing to his brother, so I know I nabbed the right kid.

The Punishment: A first in our house.... washing his mouth out with soap. Colby was more
confused than upset at this punishment. "WHY are you washing my mouth out with soap?" he asked. "Because your mouth is dirty after saying something not very nice, and now we have to make it clean again." "Oh, OK". Afterwards, I heard him telling Quinn that "Mom washed my teeth because they were dirty after I said 'stupid'". Thus the confession, and the realization that washing his mouth out with soap may not have been severe enough a punishment.

Growth Spurt

Colby's tongue has had a growth spurt. It appears freakishly long, and is rarely in his mouth these days. Several people have mentioned it. Weird.

The Big Boy

OK, here's something funny my HUSBAND said (I am now lumping all boys together on this blog, since it's called "Life with boys" and I didn't specify an age). Tonight we had a wonderful meal of roasted ham with whole cloves and pineapple, mashed potatoes, applesauce, and side salads, with strawberry shortcake for dessert. Robbie and the little boys were thrilled with dinner.

Rob: "So, who's going to thank me?"
Mom: "Thank you? For what?"
Rob (dead serious): "For the meal!"
Mom: "But I cooked it!!!!!"
Rob: "Yes, but I dreamed it all up, and came up with the concept, and I think it's the perfect blend of foods."
Mom: "But I COOKED IT!!!"
Rob: "Fine. You don't have to appreciate the fact that this is the meal I requested. I'll pat myself on the back."

You go ahead and do that, big boy. No one else is going to!

Lollipops

The boys got some lollipops today in Marquette, which we saved until after dinner. The following conversations occurred regarding said lollipops:

Q: "If I eat my lollipop with some fruit, does that make it a 'go' food?" (BTW, 'go' foods are healthy foods... that's what they call them at school).

C: "It's not a lollipop. It's a SWEET SUCK. "

PLLLLEEEAAASSEE don't call it a "sweet suck" anywhere but at home!!!

An Apology

The boys' preschool teacher called today, and told me that Colby smashed Quinn's thumb with a wooden block during play time. "I didn't see it," she said "but Colby didn't deny it, so I'm guessing that's probably what happened". I would guess the same. I asked my mom how she thought I should best handle the situation.... do I punish at home, hours after the incident? We both agreed that maybe we should discuss what happened with both boys, and then have Colby tell us how he could've handled the situation differently and apologize. Quinn brought his bandaged thumb immediately to our attention as soon as he got off the bus. The story was told, and Colby explained that he hit Quinn because he wanted a toy. We talked about other ways of sharing toys (set the timer, take turns, etc.). Then I made Colby hug his brother and apologize. Colby WOULD NOT say the words, and so the hug lasted quite awhile. Finally, Quinn said

Q: "Mom, it's okay. I don't WANT Colby to hug me."
M: "I know you don't, but Colby needs to do this."
Q: "I don't want a hug."
M: "Colby, apologize so the hug can stop."
C: "whimper whimper whimper"
M: "Just hurry up and say the words!"
C: "whimper whimper whimper:
Q: (manually moving Colby's jaw, and pretending to throw his voice) "I'm sorry, Quinn... I love you".
C: "whimper whimper whimper"
M: "You can sing it. You can shake hands and say it. You can yell it. But you have to say the words."
C: "whimper whimper whimper"
Q: "Can we stop hugging now?"
M: "Colby, say the words!"

Stubborn little boy. His brother was punished with a hug for several minutes, because Colby wouldn't just say a few simple words. I think Quinn felt more punished than Colby.

Scrabble

The boys played Scrabble this morning -- originally completely on their own for the first two words. Grandma helped them spell "tractor". Afterwards, Quinn and Colby made their first wish on a wishbone. Quinn wished for Dutch Baby for breakfast, and Colby wished for chicken nuggets. Lucky for all of us, Quinn won.

Excuse Me

Colby tooted.
C: Mom, my bottom 'excused me'!
M: Yup
C: Mom, my bottom burped!
M: Uh-huh
C: It did it again!
M: OK.
C: My bottom said 'excuse me' because it thought it was brown yuckie, but it wasn't.
M: Thanks for explaining.

SMILE!

Reagan was playing a board game with her brothers and I the other day. Dad thought it was photo-worthy, so snapped a few pictures. He told Colby to make his sister smile, which Colby took literally :). Um... you could have just told her "Say CHEESE!"

Bug Eating Leperchauns

The boys have yet ANOTHER cold. It's very annoying, this constant illness. It started out "digestive tract" in focus this past weekend, and led to "respiratory" by Monday. So Quinn and I were talking about the bugs in his nose.

Q: "How do the bugs get out of my nose?"

M: "Your white blood cells eat them."

Q: "WHAT are white blood cells?"

M: "Macrophages."

Q: "What's a leperphage look like?"

M: "Macrophage."

Q: "Faprophage."

M: "Macrophage."

Q: "Leperchaun."

So we googled macrophage (isn't Google wonderful???) and spent a good chunk of time this morning talking about the human immune system. Found some AWESOME pictures, discussed bacteria, which led to a talk about Vitamin C. The conversation continued over breakfast, where Quinn sneezed.

M: "Cover your nose, so the bugs don't come out!"

Q: "But I WANT them out!"

M: "But they'll make other people sick!"

Q: "How bout I sneeze on the stove, then?"

M: "Not a good idea?"

Q: "Why, will the stove catch a cold?"

M: "Uhhhh... no. But other people will touch it, pick up your bugs, and then get sick."

Q: "Oh. Then their leperchauns will eat the bugs."

M: "Macrophage. Never mind."