The Achieving Student

For the record.... in the 4th Quarter of his 4th grade year, my son Quinn got STRAIGHT A's on his report card for the first time ever.  He even asked the teacher for extra credit assignments in math, because he was just a hair shy of the A he was working so hard for.  GOOD JOB, Quinn!!  We're awfully proud of how hard you've worked.  Colby raised his grade in every single class as well, getting all A's and two B's.  Such a turn-around from last year.  Thank goodness.

Now, I've got to buy the kid a video game (that's been our deal for the past four years.  Never thought I'd have to actually pay up.)

Ascension Thursday

To celebrate the Feast of the Ascension (and enjoy this new-fangled flaming ball in the sky called "the sun"), we had a special picnic.  Colby got bonus points, because when I asked what of significance happened 40 days after Easter, he nailed the right answer.  Woo-hoo for things sinking in.  Anways.  Our picnic incorporated bubbly liquids (because bubbles rise up, and there's no way Rob's going to have a picnic without beer), chicken salad sandwiches (because chickens have wings and fly) and fruit (because Christ was the first fruits of the risen).  (I'm using a lot of parentheses).  (Bear with me).

So we were at our picnic, and I was explaining the significance of our chosen food, when Colby began debating the merits of how we were celebrating.

Colby: "Chickens don't fly".
Mom: "Yes they do.  They have wings."
Colby: "Have you ever seen a chicken in flight?"
Mom: "Have you ever heard the saying 'flew the coop'?"
Colby: "No I haven't.  They don't fly."
Mom: "Yes, they do.  Just not very far, because they're so fat."  Editor's note: I have no idea if that's the actual scientific reason why chickens don't fly, but I'm the Mom and I was making a point, and they shouldn't be questioning me.

Colby: "And it's Thursday.  Why is there a feast on a Thursday?"
Mom: "Because it's 40 days after Easter."
Colby: "But there's nothing special about Thursdays."
Mom: "This one is special, because it's 40 days after Easter."
Colby:  "No, special days happen on Sunday."
Mom: "Christmas sometimes happens on a Thursday, but sometimes not."
Colby: "Is this ALWAYS on a Thursday?"
Mom (cogitating for much too long about this question): "I.....think.....so......  YES.  Yes it is, because Easter is always on a Sunday, so 40 days later will ALWAYS be on a Thursday."  (phew!)
Colby: "Thursdays aren't special days."
Mom: "They are if we say they are.  This Thursday is special."

Mom: "So, what happens FIFTY days after Easter?"
Quinn: "Something something."
Mom: "No.  Don't be sassy."
Quinn: "That's the right answer.  SOMETHING happened fifty days after Easter."
Mom: "What was that?"
Quinn: "I have no idea."
Mom: "Colby???? Do you know?  It has to do with tongues of fire."
Reagan: "TONGUES?  OF FIRE???  They would burn if you licked anything!!!"
Colby: "Oh.  The Holy Spirit came down."
Two bonus points for getting both the Ascension and Pentecost right.  Good job, Colby Man.
Colby: "Does that happen on a Sunday?"
Mom: (Again, cogitating much.too.long. on this question)  "Yes.  Because there's 7 days in a week, and 7 weeks between Easter and Pentecost.  7x7 is 49, and Sunday is the 50th day.  Always on Sunday."  So there.

And then we ate.  Lesson complete.  May they always think of chicken salad and beer on Ascension Thursday.

BLECH.....

I was sitting next to Quinn on the couch, when Colby came to join us. Colby: "Hey, Quinn! My back was itching, and I found the perfect back scratcher." Quinn: "Oh, that's cool." It took me a second to register all of this, as my attention was elsewhere. But then I happened to look over. To see my son scratching his mangy back with MY TOOTHBRUSH. UGH. BLEH. Yuck yuck yuck. Time for a new toothbrush.

Say what?!?!

Dad and the boys were playing football in the yard. Colby went out for a long one. He sprinted for the weeds (aka "the end zone") and yelled at the top of his lungs. "It's another HOMERUN!!!!"

This will make my sister cringe, our son's lack if sports knowledge.