Hard of Hearing

Both boys have been saying "WHAT?" all day. Continuously. After every single thing I say. Quinn kept asking "what's that sound? What's that beeping? Oh, it's my heart". Colby has been plain ignoring me. My frustration level was rising considerably, when it occurred to me that it's time to clean the boys' ears out. I told Quinn as much, after the last time he responded "WHAT??", while sitting all of 10 inches from my mouth.

Mom: "You don't hear anything I'm saying today, do you?"
Quinn: "WHAT?"
Mom (speaking very loudly directly into his ear): "WE NEED TO CLEAN YOUR EARS OUT!"
Quinn: "OHHHHH. The sound waves aren't getting into my ears because there's too much dirt!".

What a smart boy I have. And what dirty ear canals HE has.

Time To Switch Bathrooms

Evidence that Mom needs to remove her stuff from the boys' bathroom...

#1: A year-old used pregnancy test announcing the pending arrival of Baby Reagan (kept because I'm a sentimental fool) was used this afternoon as a bubble wand

#2: Items used to "fix mom's hair" today included a cheese grater, the base to an electric toothbrush, a hairblower, and a tampon.

#3: A bottle of shampoo was used as bubble juice outside.

Great.

Future Floorplans

My next house is going to have an indoor track. Or at least some circular, unobstructed path. THIS house is built like the digestive system of a worm (you all remember middle-school biology, I'm sure) with one long alimentary canal and little pockets of rooms bulging out to either side. This unfotunately lends itself to high-speed chases from front door to back. I'm currently sitting in the living room watching the blurs go by at high speeds - back and forth, back and forth, with flat little duck feet. In nothing but their skivvies.

Brotherly Love

It's past 10 pm, and I just put the baby to bed. Colby's mattress in Reagan's room, his bed for the last few months, was empty. The couch, where he often ends up during the night, was empty. My bed - another favorite destination - was also empty. WHERE was Colby? After a thorough search of the house, I located him. In bed with his brother, sleeping soundly. Can they not stand to be apart even for a NIGHT? Come on!

Insects

After work today, Colby told me about the "spagitos" that "bite your blood". True 'nuf. He had a huge "spagito" bite on his neck to prove it. I hate "spagito" season nearly as much as I hate 9 months of winter up here.

Saw Blades

Quinn and Colby were playing "karate chop" in the shower last night. Mom intervened.

Q: "But MOM! I need to break a board!"
M: "That would be really hard."
Q: "No it wouldn't. I'll grow my toenails out until they're really long and sharp, and they'll just cut right through!"

Quite the plan. Disgusting, but logical.

Independence... the good kind

Spring break is over, and we're back to the rush rush rush of getting ready for school in the morning. Reagan had a doctor's appointment first thing, so I had to take my shower before the boys left on the bus, rather than afterwards as I usually do. After my shower, I realize that it's 8:00!! They aren't dressed or fed yet, those little men! I panic, and start yelling down into the basement (where I assume they are) to HURRY UP! Let's eat! The bus will be here in 15 minutes!!! No one answered me from the basement. Irritated, I used my "stern Mom voice".
"Boys! Get up here NOW! We have to eat breakfast!"

Still no answer. Know why? Those good little boys were in the kitchen, eating the breakfast they had made themselves -- peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They hadn't gotten themselves dressed, but then again, Dad had let them sleep in their school clothes last night since Mom was at MOPS, and they assumed they already WERE dressed. Who needs a mother these days?????