An Apology

The boys' preschool teacher called today, and told me that Colby smashed Quinn's thumb with a wooden block during play time. "I didn't see it," she said "but Colby didn't deny it, so I'm guessing that's probably what happened". I would guess the same. I asked my mom how she thought I should best handle the situation.... do I punish at home, hours after the incident? We both agreed that maybe we should discuss what happened with both boys, and then have Colby tell us how he could've handled the situation differently and apologize. Quinn brought his bandaged thumb immediately to our attention as soon as he got off the bus. The story was told, and Colby explained that he hit Quinn because he wanted a toy. We talked about other ways of sharing toys (set the timer, take turns, etc.). Then I made Colby hug his brother and apologize. Colby WOULD NOT say the words, and so the hug lasted quite awhile. Finally, Quinn said

Q: "Mom, it's okay. I don't WANT Colby to hug me."
M: "I know you don't, but Colby needs to do this."
Q: "I don't want a hug."
M: "Colby, apologize so the hug can stop."
C: "whimper whimper whimper"
M: "Just hurry up and say the words!"
C: "whimper whimper whimper:
Q: (manually moving Colby's jaw, and pretending to throw his voice) "I'm sorry, Quinn... I love you".
C: "whimper whimper whimper"
M: "You can sing it. You can shake hands and say it. You can yell it. But you have to say the words."
C: "whimper whimper whimper"
Q: "Can we stop hugging now?"
M: "Colby, say the words!"

Stubborn little boy. His brother was punished with a hug for several minutes, because Colby wouldn't just say a few simple words. I think Quinn felt more punished than Colby.