Boys are so.... boys. They make me laugh and cringe and laugh some more. I tried to be unobtrusive at the party (well, until after midnight, and then I got CRABBY), and put on my listening ears to catch this:
(during a squirt-gun fight) "I'm not on a team. I am a mercenary. Make me an offer. No - higher."
"I can't have cake. I can't have pop. I can't eat pepperoni. I can't eat chocolate. I can't eat peanuts." Apparently, only the watermelon was universally acceptable on the menu.
"I have a very good sense of taste, and I can tell that your drinking water has moved through plastic pipes before coming in to my cup. I need different water."
(upon this mama coming upon a miscellaneous 11 year old that she didn't own, stealing her chair when she got up for a second) Me: "Hey! That's my chair!" Child: "Nope. Not any more. It's mine. Find your own."
(upon this mama coming upon another miscellaneous 11 year old shaking the pop and having it explode on her daughter's head) Me: "HEY! That's not a good idea!" Child: "No! It's okay!" (????)
Me: "(miscellaneous child that I don't own)!! Do not play in the woods by yourself at 11 o'clock at night looking for fireflies!! Did you not JUST hear that coyote right there?"
Colby: "Mom! I broke my toe!" Me: "OK. We'll look at it after the party. Carry on."
Me: "Boys! It is nearly one o clock in the morning. You MUST got to sleep. I have to get up in 6 hours to go to work. The birthday is OVER. It is officially July 10th. If I hear one more footstep on the floor, that person will be sleeping with ME upstairs. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?????" Miscellaneous boy that I don't own: "WOW! You're crabby!".
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