Walmart

Had all three kids with me today at Walmart, something I usually dread. Today, all three were extremely well behaved! Quinn pushed the cart with his little sister in it, while Colby "led the way" to whichever item was next on the list. It was orderly (except when Quinn ran into other people or carts, since he couldn't actually SEE where he was going) and peaceful. Wow. Quinn noticed how well the trip was going.

Q: "MOM! I'm being a regular person! I'm pushing the cart!"
Mom: "Yes. I like you being a regular person."

I think we were referring to different things, but still...

Logic to Make a Mother Worry

Colby: "Mom, why do you go to jail if you drink and drive?"
Mom: "Because when you drink, it makes you a bad driver, and you could crash."
Colby: "Oh, I get it. If you crash, it would spill your drink!"

Holiday Checklist

Before school today, Colby piped up with this:

Colby: "Mom, you've decorated the house and cleaned, but we haven't done our holiday baking yet!"
Mom: "Holiday baking?"
Colby: "Yes! What are we going to feed Santa when he comes? And do you have the carrots for the reindeer yet?"
Mom: "Yes. I remembered the carrots. But you're right - we haven't made cookies for Santa. Maybe today when you get home from school."
Colby: "Good. We have to be ready."

I was sort of surprised at his accurate checklist. Don't know where he got it, but it was the exact same checklist that was going through MY head.

Tom Foolery

TRYING to focus the children enough to get their jammies on tonight.

Mom: "Quinn, get your jammies on."
Quinn: "I'm not Quinn. I'm Colby."
Mom: "Whatever, Quinn. Just put your pajamas on."
Quinn: "I'm not Quinn, I'm Colby."
Mom: "Maybe you should try fooling someone who didn't give birth to you. That doesn't work on moms. Get your pajamas on. Colby! Get in here and put your pajamas on!"
Colby: "I'm not Colby. I'm Quinn."
Mom: "BOYS! You're making me mad! Quit messing around and get your pajamas on!"
Colby: "We're not boys. We're Quinn and Colby. And I'm the first one."

AAARRRRGGGHHHHH.

Church

OK. I'm sure this somehow makes me a really bad parent, but... in desperation today.... I bribed my children to sit still and pay attention in church. The offer? One solid M&M for every question they got right on the way home from church. It worked moderately well.

Mom: "What did Father talk about today?"
Quinn: "Cats!" OK... it was an analogy, but the image of a cat WAS used, so... one point.
Mom: "Name one prayer we said."
Colby: "The Our Father!"
Mom: "Name one song we sung."
Rob: "Oh, Maria!" HEY! I didn't know Dad's were playing, too. One point for Dad.
Mom: "What is the name of our priest?"
Colby: "Uncle BOB!" Uhhhhh..... no.
Mom: "Try again. What's the name of our priest?"
Colby: "Father Bob!" Still, no.
Mom: "One more time. What's his name?"
Quinn: "Father AL".

When I asked what the name of the Pastor was at St. Peter and Paul, Quinn said this...
Quinn: "But you already SAID his name. Pastor!"
Mom: "No. What's his NAME?"
Quinn: "Pastor!"
Mom: "No. His name!"
Quinn: "What, you mean like a LAST name?"
Mom: "Yes."
Quinn: "OOOOHHHHH. Pastor Weber."
Thank you.

The question no one, including Dad, apparently knew the answer to... the color of today's vestments. We had green, white, red, and dark yellow given as guesses. Was no one looking forward the entire service? Even when they shook the man's hand as they left the church??? Come on, people. It's PURPLE! He was ENSCONCED in PURPLE! From his neck to his toes! Sheesh.

Chefs

The boys asked me if they could make their own breakfast this morning. I told them yes. They decided to make sandwiches. Still ok. Soon, I see Quinn eating his sandwich..... peanut butter, jelly and chocolate chip cookie on pumpernikel. Um, no. Try again.

Secret Keepers

Quinn "fell" on a present this morning, "accidentally" ripping it to find out what was inside. Luckily, it wasn't one for them. "Mom, but who's getting the play-doh, then?" HMMMM. They duct-taped that present back together. It's truly lovely. I had told the boys what "they" got Dad for Christmas, enforcing that it was a secret, and not to tell Dad, because we want him to be surprised on Christmas morning. Quinn just told me "I didn't tell him the WHOLE thing. Just the first three words of what it was. There's four words to it." UGH. I can't imagine what Rob might think a book-shaped package is that starts with "A Paper Airplane ______".