Where Food Comes From

Against my better judgement, I let the boys watch a PBS special on slaughterhouses in America. Serious breech of sanity. Both boys were FULL of questions. "But WHY are they killing all the chickens?" "To make your chicken nuggets." Brutal honesty really isn't in my best interest, given the frequency with which we have chicken nuggets for dinner. Quinn insisted that he wanted his own chicken to keep as a pet, one that wouldn't be killed or taken to a factory. At dinner tonight (chicken nuggets, of course) they both said "but Mom, they don't LOOK like those chickens. Where do they put the chicken lips?" And Quinn wanted to know how a cow went from being cow-shaped to being shaped like a circle when in a hamburger. Trust me, you just don't want to know. Don't think about it, and eat eat eat, boys. Doesn't it taste good???

Tornados

I have the filthiest children on the planet. Honestly. Whirling dervishes of dirt, leaving trails of grime, noise, and chaos wherever they go. I love them desperately, and miss them the second (ok, not THE second... but some short time afterwards) I'm away from them. And then, when we're back to being in the same room, I feel my nerves start to twang, my voice involuntarily rise, and I suddenly morph into Drill Sargeant Mom, who counts to three a whole lot. "I said SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR DINNER. QUIETLY! YOU'RE SISTER IS TRYING TO SLEEP! ONE. TWO. THREE....." Oh boy.

Yesterday, I spent, literally, THREE HOURS cleaning the kitchen. Scrubbing down stools and cupboards full of dripped-on gunk and smeared handprints. I washed the floor on my hands and knees, did a sink and a half full of dishes, and polished every last appliance til it shown. Not 24 hours later, the kitchen is a PIT yet again. How did ketchup get on the ceiling? I have had the boys wash their hands (a struggle in and of itself) five times today, because they were fully BLACK with unimaginable things. I had a piece of paper that I was writing on, Colby lightly touched it, and I had to throw it away because of the filth. I am not an anal person. I am in no sense of the word a neat-nick, nor a germ-freak. But COME ON. They touch EVERY DISGUSTING THING with those hands. And a person would have absolutely no idea of their natural skin color if looking only at hands and face. Filthy filthy filthy filthy gross gross gross. Nightly showers only help keep them clean during sleeping hours. The second they arise, they are back at it.

THIS is why I have a blog. To vent. I have been told that some day I will yearn for smudgy little handprints on my windows. I'm having a really hard time believing that at the moment.

Quinn Town

We had grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. This invariably brings up the fact that Colby has a cheese ostensibly named after him, which happens to be made in a Wisconsin town of the same name. We've seen it. It's there.

Quinn: "There's a town named Quinn, too."
Colby: "No there's not. You're lying."
Mom: "Let's google that after dinner."
Quinn: "They make Colby cheese in Colby town. What do they make in Quinn town?"
Mom: "I don't know. We'll look that up, too."
Quinn: "I think they make Queens. And Quilts. And other 'Q' stuff there."
Mom: "Maybe you're right!"
Quinn: "I bet it's near Juneau."
Mom: "Alaska?"
Quinn: "Yes. I'd like to live there."
Colby: "Not me. They're poor in Alaska."
Mom: "Who told you that?"
Colby: "You did, Mom." I have no recollection of that whatsoever. I imagine I DID discourage any thoughts of moving to Alaska. That's something Dad has always wanted, which I have always nixed. We're cold enough here, thank you very much.

I haven't had any luck finding Quinn Town. Colby asked me to check China. Nope. Quinn suggested the South Pole. Maybe the North Pole. Nah. JACKPOT! There it is. Quinn, South Dakota... Population 45. That's 18 males, 27 females. Divorce rate 0% (that's encouraging!), although one of those 45 people is apparently a registered sex offender. Hmmmm. Other known facts about Quinn, SD:
#16 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that keep firearms around their homes"
#32 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that smoked 100+ cigarettes in their lives" and...
#41 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that had a sunburn in the past 12 months"

All good to know. Not sure how much Queen or Quilt making they do there, though.

Distinction

Colby: "Mom, some people call me Quinn because they can't tell I'm Colby."
Mom: "Yup."
Colby: "But my chin is longer than Quinn's."
Mom: "Who told you that?"
Colby: "I told myself! I looked in a mirror!"
Mom: "Ahhhh. I guess you're right."
Quinn: "Well, I'm darker."
Mom: "No, you guys have the same coloring."
Quinn: "No, my voice is darker and Colby's is lighter."
Mom: "Oh, you mean DEEPER?"
Quinn: "Yeah."
Mom: "Can you tell Dallace and Dallan apart in your class at school?"
Quinn and Colby: "No. They look exactly the same."

I find it interesting that they still can't consistently tell themselves apart in pictures unless they actually remember the picture taking experience. It seems so obvious to me.

Dinner Conversation

Tortellini tonight for dinner. Neither boy was thrilled with that.

Mom: "It's just noodles, cheese, chicken, musrhooms, and tomatos. You'll like it."
Quinn: "Are these the plain mushrooms I like?"
Mom: "Yes." Quinn took a bite.
Quinn: "NO THEY'RE NOT! They're all warm and sweaty!"

Minutes later.....
Quinn: "Mom, I'll have carrots for dessert. I LOVE carrots dipped in ranch. Carrots are a 'go food' (preschool talk for health food)."
Mom: "Yeah, but ranch dressing is a slow food. It has fat."
Quinn: "Funny. I don't taste the slow part. I don't taste the fat. I know. When you eat them together, the 'go' part takes over the 'slow' part."

I wish it worked like taht.

Financial Sense

Quinn: "Mom! Look what I found!"
Mom: "Oh, that's my silver dollar."
Quinn: "How do you know it's yours? I found it."
Mom: "I've had that silver dollar since I was a little girl. It's mine."
Quinn: "Well, if you've had it that long without spending it, you obviously don't need it."

Dang logic.

Financial Sense Part 2:
Colby: "Mom, can I do a chore to earn some money?"
Mom: "OK. You can clean the basement."
Quinn: "Mom, how much cents can I get if I clean half the basement?"
Mom: "Zero".
Quinn: "No. Like a penny? 25 cents? How much for each toy?"
Mom: "You clean it all for a dollar. If you don't clean it all, you get zero."
Quinn: "So, if I clean it all except one toy, I get nothing?"
Mom: "Exactamundo."
Quinn: "Essassimundo?"
Mom: "Just... Right. If you don't clean it all, you don't get any money."
Quinn: "Oh. OK."

Financial Sense Part 3:
I picked the boys up from school today, and was greeted by their teacher.
Mrs. VK: "Thank you so much for allowing Quinn to bring in that silver dollar today! We made a copy of it, and all the kids got to look at it, since we're studying money!"
Mom: "Oh." (Glare at child, who EXPRESSLY disobeyed when I told him not to bring the silver dollar to school. And now he's getting teacher kudos for it!)

Phone Numbers

Quinn reportedly got the phone number of a friend at school yesterday. Rob asked if he had a girlfriend now, which Quinn adamantly denied. I guess Quinn was so excited that he slept with the piece of paper it was written on. This morning, he woke up and immediately brought me the phone and his treasured paper.

Quinn: "Mom, I have TJ's phone number. Let's call it."
Mom: "What is it?"
Quinn: "10 9 3 4 8 10 9 2"
Mom: "That's not a phone number, Quinn."
Quinn: "Yes it is. TJ's phone number"
Mom: "TJ's phone number would start with the numbers 523."
Quinn: "OK. His number is 523 10 9 3 4 8 10 9 2"

He showed me his paper. Those WERE the numbers written on it. Except the 9's looked like P's. Which still doesn't help us in getting ahold of TJ.