Quinn and Colby Stories

Lately at bed time, mostly because we've been too busy to sit down and read an actual BOOK, I've been telling the boys "Quinn and Colby" stories.  These are stories that star the Dynamic Duo, and we've been telling them off and on since they were about 2 or so.  Anyways, this latest round has serial installments, and the boys are always quick to remind me where I left off the night before,  and what they expect to happen next.  Quinn and Colby had just returned to earth from planet Mom (where all the aliens nagged them to brush their teeth and clean their room), and were on a treasure hunt in the woods.  After finding the treasure (which involved Quinn's super powers as "The Human Suction Cup" and Colby's power of "The Human Bulldozer"), they, alas, found the chest locked.  But there were inscriptions on the side of the box, and that's when Storybook Quinn asked "I wonder how we open the treasure chest???"

The REAL Quinn was not pleased that his alter ego would ask such a question.

Quinn: "Mom, that's not what I would say.  I'M THE SMART ONE, because my head is bigger than Colby's."
Mom: "That's all it takes to be smart? A big head?"
Quinn: "YUP".
Colby: "Quinn, that's ridiculous.  I'M the smart one."

Hee Hee Hee.  Well, luckily, the inscriptions on the side of the chest were math facts and spelling words, so both boys got to prove exactly how smart they were, in order to find the secret code to open the treasure.  And I would have to say, that Colby was the smart one sometimes, and Quinn was the smart one other times.  Funny how that works.  Despite Quinn's big head ;).

Love Defined

On our recent trip out west, the boys were constantly teasing Grandma Betty "Miss me, Miss me, now you have to kiss me!"  And Grandma Betty would chase them, and happily oblige.  I asked the boys where they heard this from.  Were girls chasing them at school?

Quinn:  "No.  But Cameron and Sydney chase Dallan."
Me: "Why would they do that?"
Quinn: "Because they have a crush on him."
Me: "What does 'having a crush' mean?"
Colby: "It means they're in love."
Me: "What does being in love mean?"
Quinn: "Well, it means that when someone is chasing you, you really want them to catch you."

AHA.  Well-said young man.

Terms of Endearment

The Scenario:  Tucking the boys in last night.

Mom (kissing Colby):  "Good night Stinker Pot.  I love you."
Colby: "MOM!  That's not nice!"
Mom:  "Stinker Pot is a term of endearment!"
Mom (kissing Quinn): "Good night, Fluffer Doodle!"
Quinn: "Hee hee hee"
Colby: "OOOOOOOH!  I get it!!!  Calling a name means 'I love you!"
Mom: "Yeah!  That's right!"
Colby: "OK.  Good night Stupid Loser."

UHHH... Maybe not.

Dinner Conversation Down the Tubes

Quinn:  "Mom, I met a boy on the bus today who's dad went to jail, and he did nothing wrong."
Monica: "Are you sure about that?  They don't usually put people in jail for doing nothing."
Quinn: "He said that a girl said his dad shot her, but she just hates him."
Mom: "Uhhhhhh"
Dad (who was falsely accused at work today of dumping garbage in the MTU dumpster, by virtue of garbage bags in the back of his truck on Chassell garbage day, which he didn't really do, and there's a building Nazi who is after him and he DIDN'T DO IT, and he's going to bring in the receipts to prove it, he'll show HER!!!): "Remember, we are all innocent until proven guilty."
Mom: "OR, maybe we don't want you hanging around this kid."
Quinn: "It wasn't even HIS gun.  The boy has 8 guns, and only one gun is his dad's."
Mom: "Again, maybe we don't want you hanging around this kid."
Quinn: "This is the second time his dad's been in jail.  The first time he really did it, but this time he didn't."
Mom: "What was his dad in jail for the first time?"
Quinn: "Strangling up a girl".
Mom: "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". 
Dad: "Strangling up a girl?  What does that mean?"
Colby: "It means he strangled up a girl!"
Mom: "Maybe we don't want you hanging around this kid."
Dad:  "BURP".
Quinn and Colby:  "hee hee hee hee"
Dad: "That was an exclamation point burp".
Quinn: "BURP"
Colby: "BURP"
Reagan: "Screech!  Burp!"

Quinn, Colby, Reagan, and Daddy: "Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee"

Mom leaves the room, shaking her head at the complete loss of sanity.

The Loophole

The boys have been "wandering" during meals lately.  As in carrying their food and walking around the kitchen while eating.  Besides the lack of manners this shows, it increases the mess on the floor, which is the ULTIMATE SIN in my world.  I am only very questionably keeping up with housework as it is ((understatement -- I hear my husband smirking at that statement right now)).  Anyways.  I told both boys that they needed to eat their food at the kitchen table, and if they even stepped foot on the kitchen floor, snack time was OVER.  Then I turned my back and commenced doing dishes. 

Not two minutes later, I turn around to find Quinn standing on the dining room table, a full room away, munching on a hard-boiled egg.

Mom: "QUINN!  WHAT did I tell you about eating your food at the table??"
Quinn: "You said don't touch the kitchen floor, and I didn't!  I went from one stool to the next, and made it up here without touching the floor!"
Mom:  "That's not what I said."
Colby: "Yes it is.  I heard you."
Quinn: "You degreed it."
Mom: "What?"
Quinn:  "You degreed, I could eat as long as I didn't touch the kitchen floor."

I'm thinking he meant that I agreed that he could eat as long as his feet didn't touch the floor.  Either way, that's not what I MEANT.  C'mon.  Really?!?!?!

Merry Chrisma....er.... Easter?

Colby woke up bright and early this Holy Saturday morning, looked out the window, and said

"MAN!  It's SNOWING AGAIN!"

Tell me about it, son.  Ridiculous.

Just Like Grandma's

Went all out and made the boys peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner after I got home from work.  Quinn loved his, and asked for a second.

Quinn: "Mom, is that Grandma Fran's jelly on my sandwich?"
Mom: "No, it's the blueberry jam I made last summer."
Quinn: "Well, it's so good, you must've used her recipe.  It tastes just like hers."

He doesn't know that this is the highest compliment he could possibly give me.  It literally brought tears to my eyes.