Opposition

It's much to young to be starting this, but my son Quinn says "no" to EVERYTHING. I. SAY.  It's like I'm dealing with a 14 year old in a 7 year old's body. 

Mom: "Quinn, get your shoes on,"
Quinn: "NO!"
Mom: "Quinn, you need to get ready for your pageant tonight."
Quinn: "It's not tonight.  It's tomorrow."
Mom: "It's tonight.  See on the calendar?"
Quinn: "The calendar's wrong."
Mom: "Quinn!  We're going to go home, clean your room, and then make a snowman."
Quinn: "I don't want to make a snowman!  No!"
Mom: "Oh look!  It's snowing outside, just in time for Christmas!"
Quinn: "No it's not."

No it's NOT?????  What's the white stuff falling from the sky??
Quinn: "Well, it's not JUST in time for Christmas."

UGH.  Oppositional child.  Just say "YES MOM" once in awhile!!!

Santa Letter From Quinn

Found THIS is Quinn's backpack today:

Dear Santa,
I love the presents you gave me last year and I hope you give the presents I want this year.  I would like a laptop  so I can email you.  I would also like a DS with the lego star wars game.  I really like that.  I really (want):
1.  DS with the lego star wars
2. laptop
3. Ipad with a charcher (charger)
4.  cars for my sister

I want an iPad with a charcher.  I would really like that.  I'm being so nice about it.  Can you give some cars for my sister? 

Love, Quinn
To Santa

Editor's Note:  This kid has expensive taste!  He's SEVEN.  We're in so much trouble.  I find it funny that he doesn't want Santa to forget the charger for the iPad.   I'm afraid Santa is going to disappoint him.  We've talked alot about what pricey things he has asked for, and he keeps telling me that "It's expensive for YOU, but not expensive for SANTA, because Santa makes his own."  He's at least thought it through. 

Grammar

Mom: "Quinn!  I need you to pick up the clothes on the floor in your bedroom so I can shampoo your carpet.  If you hurry, maybe I'll let YOU shampoo your carpet."

Quinn: "Mom, I don't need to be shamp-ing any poo."

Wha-huh?

The boys came home from church today, and I asked them to change their clothes, so we could go out into the woods and cut down a Christmas tree. Quinn (after no less than SIX reminders to do this one simple chore) finally came down with clothes changed.  In shorts and a T-shirt.

Mom: "Quinn, it's 23 degrees outside.  You can't wear shorts and a T-shirt."
Quinn: "Mom!  I'll wear a coat!  It's not that cold out there!"
Mom: "Go change.  Put on sweats and a sweatshirt."

(a few minutes past)
Quinn: "There, Mom, I did it.  See?  I put these over my shorts and T-shirts."
Mom: "All you did was put on a different pair of church pants.  I want you to wear sweats or jeans.  We're going out into the woods!"
Quinn: "Why can't I wear these pants?"
Mom: "Because they're church pants!!!"
Quinn: "Give me a different reason besides that they're church pants."
Mom: "How about 'I'm your mother and I SAID SO."
Quinn: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... that's not a good reason either."

Mom: "Go. Upstairs. And. Change.  NOW.  Pretend that I'm picking out what you're wearing.  Wear what you think I'd pick out for you."

After the third full outfit change, Quinn FINALLY came down appropriately dressed for the weather and activity.    Okay.  That only took exactly 23 minutes.

Now to work on the next boy, who hasn't even started yet.

Chicken and Eggs

Colby: "Mom, I know how the egg gets out of the chicken."
Mom: "You do?"
Colby: "Yeah.  The chicken POOPS them out!"
Mom: "Are you sure?"
Colby: "Yes."
Quinn: "Of course, Mom.  That's why they call eggs DUMPlings."

Good grief.

Thankfulness

Found this note in Colby's backpack after school (spellings left intact):

THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR:
I love my grampa and grandma because my grampa and grandma give me stuff I like, my dogs because I like playing with them.  My dad is speciall to me because he let's me watch tv and he gives me good stuff to eat.  And the most of all I love my life and all these things. 

I showed it to Rob, telling him it would "make him feel awesome", which of course it did.  Rob beamed and said "I really DO try to make a nice meal for them on Mondays when I'm in charge of dinner."

We Suck.

We suck.  Really.  We do.  Because Quinn came home from school, having lost his front tooth, all excited.  Then, he promptly put it in a cup for safe keeping, then put the cup on his dresser so his mother couldn't throw it out when doing the dishes, and so he wouldn't lose it and have to write an apology note to the tooth fairy.   He exhibited full tooth-loss etiquette.  Followed every last rule.  And STILL, the next morning, the tooth fairy forgot to take his tooth and leave a dollar.  He came downstairs with his tooth in his hand, near tears. 

Quinn: "The tooth fairy didn't want it."
Mom: "Uhhhhhhhhhhh."
Quinn: "It was in the cup, and I put the cup in my bed by the pillow, and she didn't TAKE IT!"

((Forehead slap)).  We suck.  I madly whispered to Rob to sneak upstairs and "check" to see if he could "find" the tooth fairy's deposit.  In the mean time, I tried to backpedal with Quinn.

Mom: "Quinn, maybe the tooth fairy doesn't need any more teeth, because she has enough for her job.  You said that Tucker lost a tooth yesterday, too.  Maybe she filled her quota for our area.  And there's  a recession going on - money is tight, you know...."  LAME. LAME.  LAME. 

Rob (coming in and stopping the train wreck that I was creating): "Quinn, did you actually LOOK for a dollar, or did you just see the tooth and not go any farther than that?"

Quinn: "Well, if she didn't take the tooth, I'm sure she didn't leave anything."

Mom: "Well, let's go look together.  Maybe she did leave something, and just didn't need the tooth."

So, we went upstairs and rummaged under the pillows and found, under the covers, surprise surprise, a single greenback.  I thought we'd saved the day. But Quinn still looked crestfallen. 

Quinn: "It's supposed to be gold."

Mom: "What?  What are you talking about?  You got a dollar last time..."

Quinn: "Yeah, but that was because I lost my tooth.  You told me the tooth fairy doesn't give golden dollars if there's no tooth.  There WAS a tooth this time, and I still didn't get a gold dollar."

This tooth fairy is MUCH too legalistic.  Honestly.  How much longer can I cover her incompetent tracks????

So here's where I was debating very seriously with myself.  Do I come clean, admit what an idiot I am, and take all that disappointment aimed at the tooth fairy onto myself?  Or do I continue to weave fanciful,  elaborate rules in order to keep the "magic" alive?  Good parenting would probably say I should do the former, but... I just didn't want to kill his innocent childhood just yet.  He's going to be losing alot of the "magic" of childhood in a very few years.  It's death will not be at my hands.  So, I told a whopper.

Mom: "Quinn, I have a feeling the tooth fairy didn't take your tooth, because she didn't see it in the cup, and she thought you lost it.  So she gave you the regular dollar.  Let's put it with the dollar, and a note explaining everything, under your pillow tonight, and we'll see what happens."

This perked him up considerably.  It was all a silly misunderstanding.  The Tooth Fairy will redeem herself.

She just had BETTER not mess up again!!!