Laughable Lunch

The funny things they say at lunch:

C: "Mom, what's this Pizza Christ made of?"

Q: (When told to remove his feet from the table, or lunch would be over) "Well, that would be just a BAD CHOICE for you, Mr. Mama".

Bed Time

I hate it when bed time goes bad. Like tonight, when it took 45 minutes to corral the boys into pajamas and tooth-brushing, with many threats, and lots of nagging. What, do I talk just for the fun of it? Am I INVISIBLE????? Apparently, my children are completely deaf unless I start counting to three. UGH. They lost the privelege of falling asleep in the guest bed, which has been their preference lately. Then they lost the privelege of having the night light on, and then the door open. After FINALLY getting them nearly kicking and screaming into bed, they wanted a story. Fine, I said. This was the story.

"Once upon a time there were two little boys named Quinn and Colby. They listened to their mom, and obeyed when she asked them to do something, because they knew that she was trying to teach them how to be big boys. When they were good boys and obeyed the first time they were asked, they got to go ice skating, snowmobiling, and skiing. THE END".

They HATED the story, and cried themselves to sleep because I refused to tell them a different one.

Christmas Decorating

The boys have been "decorating" my tea set for Christmas. When I cleaned it up, it returned within the hour, with stern warnings that I was not to touch the "decorations" again. Looks more like my tea set is going to Mardi Gras. Anyways. I then had to explain tonight before bed why a Spiderman pinata wasn't necessary for our holiday festivities. They insisted that Christmas was Jesus' birthday, and all birthday parties should have pinatas. Good point. Maybe we'll start a new tradition :)!

Little Boys Love Their Sisters

Every time I let Quinn hold his new sister, he says "Quick, get the camera, Mom!" He wants to document these moments, and so do I.... these times when baby sisters are the coolest thing going. How long do you think THAT will last?

Makes me Wonder

My interpretation of this conversation I had with Colby may be overly "Catholic" of me, but it really DOES make me wonder. So here's the scenario... yesterday after school, I was TRYING to get overly tired four year olds to take a nap. So I, too, could take a nap. I let them lie on my bed, and I had the tv on while I was feeding the baby. I was looking for something BORING that they wouldn't be interested in. I settled on the Catholic channel, where there was a show (in SPANISH) on Our Lady of Guadaloupe. I don't know if you all know that story... if not, you can read about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_of_Guadalupe. Synopsis: an Aztec Indian by the name of Juan Diego saw the Virgin Mary in the 1500's, who told him to tell the bishop to build a church. She told him to fill his cloak with roses (which suddenly appeared) and take them to the bishop. When Juan Diego unfurled his cloak (tilma) to the bishop, the image of Mary was imprinted on the inside. This cloak almost single-handedly converted the native Aztecs in Mexico - more than missionaries ever could. Massive Christian conversions - in the hundreds of thousands - in the few years after it's appearance, and ended human sacrifice in Mexico. This cloak still exists, and is on display in Mexico. Anyways. That's the story, and this program was about modern day Mexicans celebrating and worshiping in the church where the cloak is. It didn't retell the story, just showed pictures of people singing and praying, and even if it HAD, the whole show was in SPANISH. So that's the scenario, when the tv flashes a picture of the Tilma (cloak).

C: "Mom, who's that?"
M: "Mary".
C: "She came out of the picture."
M: "What?"
C: "She came out of the picture."
M: "What do you mean, Mary came out of the picture?"
C: "She was a person. Like you. She came out of the picture."
M: "Why did she do that?"
C: "Because she loves EVERYBODY."

Now, I have not told my children anything about Mary besides the nativity story and that she was Jesus' mother. WHERE did THAT come from? There were other pictures of Mary on this program, and Colby would ask who they were, but when the show returned to the picture of the Tilma (cloak), he said it again....
"Mary came out of the picture!"

Sometimes I think God speaks through children. And sometimes I think kids are a little more in touch with the spiritual world than we realize. It really makes me wonder.

A Peaceful Dinner

As anyone has ever shared a meal with two four year old boys knows, it is not a peaceful thing. It is a messy, frustrating affair, force-feeding vegetables, threats to use table-manners - it often ends with a timer, some gagging and lots of tears. At least in our house. Not so tonight. I made sweet and sour chicken, minus the "sour" as "my boys" (including Dad) all have sweet-tooths (sweet-teeth???). Basically breaded chicken bits with a citrus sauce and rice. Not the most healthy meal, I guess, but it went over like GANGBUSTERS. Quinn was absolutely RAVING.
"Mom! I love dinner! This is my favorite! I need a second dinner!! I am so happy! It's better than pancakes! It's better than pizza!"
I told him I was glad he liked it. Colby leaned over and gave me a hug. It was like I was a superstar. The accolades went on for several minutes. Astonishing. It was the most pleasant meal we've had in a long long time. I'm going to have to remember how I made that one, and serve it whenever I need some "kudos" about being a good mom.

The Nativity Story

I have been having alot of fun teaching the boys the nativity story. They are GETTING it this year, and it's so sweet! Tonight, for their bedtime story (aka "The Quinn and Colby Story", as they call it) I told them about two little boys named Quinn and Colby who went out to discover the answer to a mystery - the true meaning of Christmas. Is Christmas about snow? "YES! " they replied. Is Christmas about presents? "YES!" they replied. Is Christmas about Santa? "YES!" they replied. But yet, there was more. So Quinn and Colby searched and searched until they found a book that told them the following story.... about Mary and Joseph and a baby named Jesus. We went through the whole nativity story, and the boys were able to fill in the blanks about the shepherds and the angels, and the star of David, the magi... I was thrilled. It was sinking in!!! What a touching Christmas moment!!!! Where is Frank Capra when I need him??? So we wrapped up the story, with Quinn and Colby discovering the TRUE meaning of Christmas - the birth of Jesus. THE END. That's when the following addendums occured:

Q:" What about the bear?"
C: "And the shark? Where was the shark?"
Q: "And the whale? Did Quinn and Colby go fishing?"

Oh well. We tried.

Feel the Burn

I have resumed exercising, to get back to pre-baby, pre-little boy, pre-middle aged spread weight (my goal... is it realistic???). I now have LOTS of help. I think it helps me burn LOTS more calories.

The Paparazzi

Quinn was giving a hug to his baby sister this morning, stopped, turned to me, and said "Quick Mom! Get the camera!" Then he returned to his hug.

He's right - it was a Kodak moment, albeit a little staged. Maybe I take a few too many pictures of my children.

Manger?

So, we were doing our "Santa House", where each of the 25 compartments holds a piece of the nativity story and a bible verse. Yesterday's verse was about Jesus being born and being laid in a manger, and the "object" was, obviously, a manger. I took it out of the compartment, and asked the boys "What do you think this is?" (We had JUST read the verse, it should've been fresh in their minds!). Colby yelled back "A CARSEAT!" I have to admit, it does look a little bit like an infant carseat.

Life imitating Art or vice-versa?

A friend sent me this cartoon. How do these cartoonists know what happens at our kitchen table every night????

Difference between Boys and Girls Part II

Changing the baby's diaper again, this time witnessed by TWO little boys, instead of one.

C: "Where's baby Reagan's petey????"
Q: "Girl's don't have peteys" (oh wise Quinn)
C: "Boys have peteys."
Q: "When Reagan gets bigger, she'll have a petey".
M: "No, girls don't have peteys".
C: "But BIG girls have peteys".
M: "No."
Q: "Daddys have peteys"
M: "Yes"
C: "Mommy's have peteys".
M: "No."
Looks of confusion. MOM's not one of US?????
Q: "No petey?"
C: "But Reagan has a BOTTOM."
M: "Everyone has a bottom."

Peals of mischievious giggles.

Anatomy lesson done for the day.

Prayer

It's advent, and we've been doing an Advent wreath and calendar nightly. I have this "Santa House" with 25 compartments, each of which contains a portion of the nativity story and a small "something" to help the message be understood by preschool minds. At the end, we sing a Christmas carol, and then say the Lord's Prayer as a family. Anyways... this has been our nightly ritual lately. So last night, we do the Santa House, sing our song, and we're getting ready to do the Lord's Prayer. I see that Quinn is prostrate on the floor (poor analogy, but envision a Muslim facing Mecca), hands clasped beneath him, eyes closed, saying repeatedly "Jesus God Jesus God Jesus God".

M: "What are you doing?"
Q: "Praying".
M: "OK. Well, it's time to hold hands and say the 'Our Father'".
Q: "I've already prayed. I don't need to say the 'Our Father'."
M: "YES, you do. Please hold hands".

He held hands with us, but instead of saying the Our Father, said "Jesus God Jesus God Jesus God" repeatedly. I'm all for spontaneous prayer, but I have a feeling this was just a passive-agressive ploy, and he thought those would be the two words that would most likely "get him out of " praying with the rest of us!

Education and Interpretation

Little boys are getting quite an education with the whole baby-producing process. First they discovered that babies come from mommy's belly, then they learned that girls don't have peteys. Last night, as I was using the breast pump (discretion is a luxury that is too difficult to maintain around here) Colby walked into the room. I quickly turned the thing off, and "detached" the cone from underneath my shirt.

C: "Are you done listening to your heart now, Mom?"

I burst out laughing. It DOES look like an overly large stethescope, and the pump does kind of sound like the THWUMP THWUMP of a heartbeat :)

Clones

I hate to admit this, but even as their mother, I would have a hard time telling which son it is in THIS picture. I was there snapping the photo, so I know it's Colby, but... he sure looks an awful lot like Quinn there. I know, I know. "But they're identical twins! Of COURSE they look alike!" Not really. It always amazes me when I see them look REALLY alike. Quinn always looks the same to me, it's Colby's looks that vary so much. Sometimes he looks ALOT like Quinn, and other times, I wonder if it really is the same genetic code. Interesting. Here and now, at the age of four, in this lighting, and smiling like that... I have to say, Colby looks ALOT like Quinn. Craziness.

Fire in the Hole

The phone rang, I answered it and went into the bedroom for some peace and quiet. The boys were eating breakfast in the kitchen. I wasn't gone long, I swear. I come out of the bedroom to the smell of smoke, and an angry husband telling me "he could've burnt the house down!!!". OH NO! Apparently, Colby wanted more cinnamon toast, and took it upon himself to make some. In the microwave. For, I don't know... 10 minutes or so. It was BLACK (both microwave and bread), and the kitchen was filled with smoke. Not good, all this independence coupled with poor judgement and a lack of supervision.

The difference Between Boys and Girls

It was bound to happen. I was anticipating it. Changing Reagan's diapers today, Quinn took notice.

Q: "WHAT? Where's Baby Reagan's petey?"
M: "She doesn't have one. She's a girl, and girl's don't have peteys".
Q: "I have a petey. See?" Proceeds to provide evidence.
M: "Yes I see. Girls don't have peteys."
Q: "Oh."

That was it. No "why" questions (which is what I was dreading). No "do you have a petey, mommy?" questions, either (which is also what I was dreading). Just "oh". Thank God for little favors. I got off easy this time.

Baby Sister

We were eating breakfast this morning, with Baby Reagan asleep in her bouncy seat beside us. She squeaked. Quinn immediately rushed over to her, and had this conversation:

Q:" What's wrong Baby Reagan? Are you sad that I'm going to school? It's okay. Will you miss me? Don't be sad. I'll come home and see you."
R: "ZZZZZZZZZZ".

School is the only time Baby Reagan gets to experience the concept of "peace and quiet" in this house. But yes. I'm SURE she misses you when you're gone, Quinn.

Interesting....

I am probably making too much out of this, but Quinn said something very interesting yesterday. For those of you who don't know, both Quinn and Colby were born with a bad kidney, which needed removal at one year of age. Quinn's remaining kidney was also bad, and we were anticipating surgery on that one as well. When he was about 2 years old, we had a healing ceremony for him, where he was annointed by oil, and had the laying on of hands. Within two months, his kidney was completely healed. Miraculously, unexplainably. Anyways - he's been fine ever since.

Yesterday, as I was getting out the Christmas decorations, I pulled the angel out of the box that will go on top of our tree. Quinn was immediately drawn to it (WHY do Christmas decorations look like toys????).

Q: "Mom, do you love angels?"
M: "Yes, Quinn, I do love angels."
Q: "I love angels. An angel touched my belly and my heart grew bigger."
M: "What?"
Q: "An angel touched my belly and my heart grew bigger!"

We had just read the book "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", and when it said that the Grinch's heart "grew three sizes that day" I had explained that it meant that the Grinch became happy. So... translation in four year old language - "An angel touched my belly and I became happy!".

It just made me think of his miraculous kidney healing. DID an angel "touch his belly"? I kind of think so.

The shape of a new Mom

At breakfast this morning, the boys and I were spelling the words for our grocery list. I gave the list over to the boys, who decided to draw pictures of the items we needed, rather than spell them. Then Colby decides to draw a picture of me.

"I'll draw you, mom. You're big and round. You're an oval. Or a circle."

Big and round. Great. In my defense, I just had a baby!!!!

Dangerous Shoes

Just because I'm not pregnant anymore, I wore impractical shoes to church. HIGH heels. My highest pair. Not the most comfortable things, but it feels good to be able to choose uncomfortable but attractive shoes without the risk of toppling over because of an altered center of gravity. Anway. Quinn took one look at me in my high-heeled boots and said "WHAT are you wearing?" I said "Impractical shoes". He replied "Watch out mom! They're going to STAB me!" Those are some high heels alright!

Not So Bad

We took the boys to Chinese food last night. They were a little over-tired, and more than a little cranky. Both boys ordered an egg roll, and when they arrived, Quinn decided he didn't want his. He wanted "Chinese food" instead. Whatever. He then proceeds to whine and cry and tantrum. Rob thought that egg roll was looking mighty tasty, and figured that if Quinn didn't want it, no use letting it go to waste. More, louder whining and crying. Now Quinn wanted the egg roll, being that it was so in-demand and all. So Rob cut it in half, giving Quinn one side. Any parent of a preschooler knows how that is interpreted in a four-year old mind... now the egg roll was "broken". LOUDER crying and tantruming. "It's BROKEN! It's BROKEN!" Gnashing of teeth, rending of clothing, mourning beyond all reason. This went on for far too long, despite many threats of time-out in the van. We eventually ignored him an continued on with our not-so-peaceful meal. Not 3 minutes later, we see Quinn take a bite of his egg roll and say "WOW! It's not so bad when it's broken!" Ya' think???? He ate both halves of his, the rest of Colby's, and was asking for more when we left.

Words of Wisdom

I've been digital scrapbooking during my maternity leave - my goal is to have everything all caught up during these 8 weeks. A consequence of all my scrapbooking? Sentimentality. The boys are just growing up SOOO FAST. I look at a picture that I thought I took yesterday, and I realize it's a baby or a toddler, and now I have little boys. So this morning, I gave Quinn an extra long hug and kiss, and told him I love him.

"Do you miss me when I go to school?" He asked. I told him yes.
"Don't be sad, Mom." I told him I would try not to be.
"Just stay home, watch the news, look for the bus, and then I'll be home again! Then you can be happy!"

Such good, wise advice from a four year old. I think I'll skip watching the news, though.

Hallelujah

After a week of getting up at 5:30 a.m. , the boys slept in until 7:45!!!! YIPPEE!

Following His Nose

Colby came up to me while I was feeding the baby.
"What's that smell?" he aked. We had just finished baking, so I told him it was probably cookies.
"No. It's smells BAD." He sniffed.

"It's the BABY!"

Poor girl. I HAD just changed her diaper, but obviously the smell lingered a little too much for sensitive noses.

A long Wait

We heard the tell-tale thump of little boys out of bed tonight. Grandma Betty went to go investigate. "Why aren't you guys asleep?" she asked.
"We're waiting for Santa!"

Don't hold your breath!

dragon crack

Old halloween costumes never die... they just shrink. These were found in a closet recently. WOW! They still fit!!! And who do you think Quinn inherited dragon crack from???

The Voice Of God

At Sunday school this morning, the lesson was about Samuel and Eli - when Samuel heard the voice of God calling him and he thought it was Eli. The teacher was asking the kids if they could hear God's voice. Quinn blurts out "YES! It's loud and sounds like a chainsaw!"

Where'd that come from?

A broken heart

We were at the park this afternoon, enjoying the last vestiges of fall before winter sets in. The boys and I heard several ambulances drive by, sirens blaring. "WHAT'S THAT?" they asked.
Mom: "The ambulance is taking somebody to the hospital."
C: "I need to go to the hospital"
M: "No, only if you're really really really sick do you ride an ambulance to the hospital".
Q: "I'm sick, I have a cold in my nose".
M: "No, sicker than that. Like a broken leg, or something making you really really sick."
C: "I need to see a doctor. My stomach is full."
Q: "I need to ride in the ambulance. I have a broken heart."

What they won't come up with to be loud and fast. Quinn and his poor broken heart, at not being able to ride in an ambulance.....

Dining with Celebrities

I never know who I'm going to get when I see my children. In the morning lately, I've woken up to two Spidermen in the room. Tonight at dinner - a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and a Power Ranger. Not that either boy has seen either show, but we have the costumes, and so there they were at dinner. They were talking about which superhero foods would make them grow the tallest. And then Quinn got very worried, because when he grew that tall, his head would hit the ceiling, and the ceiling would break and make a mess, and then Mom would get MAD. Messes are currently my biggest pet peeve, because they are constant, fully preventable, and require much too much of my time. I told him that, if by chance he grew 10 feet tall by eating pepperoni pizza for dinner, and the ceiling subsequently collapsed, I would not get mad, as it would obviously be an accident.
"Oh, Mommy doesn't get mad if it's an ask-i-dent? Like when I spilled my milk?" Yes. Like that, superhero.

Then Colby went into a long history of how, because he was a turtle and all, he tried "swimming" on the kitchen floor, which made Quinn mad because there wasn't any WATER on the kitchen floor, so he took it upon himself to give Colby a spanking. "Black superhero hit the turtle, and the turtle cried." Yes, I had heard the entire exchange when it happend. But how do you mediate a fight about pretend turtles swimming in pretend water, being reprimanded by a pretend superhero? It seemed pointless to intervene, so I didn't, until the hitting occurred, at which point parental instinct took over.

Life's not so easy when the house is full of superheros.

Beavis and Butthead

Sometimes, having 4 year olds is like living with Beavis and Butthead. I was singing a blessing over them tonight, to the tune of Edelweiss. It's very pretty. This is how it went tonight....

Mom: "May the Lord, mighty God, bless and keep you forever
Grant you Peace...."

Quinn: "heh heh heh. You said 'pees' ".

Mom: "Grant you PEACE, perfect PEACE, courage in every endeavor."

UGH.

Pre-schooler-isms

These were two statements in a row this morning, by two different preschoolers. Anyone care to interpret?

Colby: "The toilet seat is crunchy"
Quinn: "My shoes want a strawberry bar".

WHAT??

Chore Chart, here we come!

When the boys got off the school bus yesterday, I put their (brand new, first time worn) gloves, hats and nametags in their backpacks, hung up their coats, and put their shoes under the bench. By the time I got home from observation at the hospital, one hat, one glove, one coat, and one entire pair of shoes was MISSING. And both boys were coatless and barefoot playing outdoors in 40 degree weather. UGH!!! This morning getting ready for school was a complete scramble, with Quinn wearing last-year's too small coat, and Colby wearing last-year's too-small shoes, adult-sized gloves, and a bright orange hat that matches NOTHING. All this after the tantrum this morning about not being able to find ONE PARTICULAR toy, that Quinn just HAS to play with, despite the mounds of other toys he owns. I think it's time to start a chore chart, and give some responsibility to little boys for keeping track of their own things! Mom is already overwhelmed with daily things while 8 1/2 months pregnant -- and four years old is old ENOUGH, I think....

Thanks

The boys, in a continuing trend to get up at o'dark thirty, walked into my bathroom just as I was toweling off (I've GOT to get a lock for that door). Unphased, Colby just looked at me in my underwear and said "That's a big one, mom". Uh-huh.

Bedtime Story

I love the age of four. We still have our "moments", but overall, the boys are sweet, wild, and good boys. They have been up since six a.m. without a nap, so I wanted to get them to bed ASAP after dinner and a shower. They, however, wanted a book read to them. We negotiated, and agreed that they would lie down quietly in the dark, and I would make up a bedtime story for them, for them to listen to. This was the story:

"Once upon a time, there were two little boys named Quinn and Colby. They wanted some applesauce, so they went into the woods to pick some apples. Suddenly, a big, mean bear jumped out in front of them and started growling. GRRRRR. He wanted to eat their apples. Morgan, the black dog, jumped in front of Quinn and Colby and started barking RUFFF RUFF RUFFF . The bear was so scared, he ran away. And Quinn and Colby brought mom their apples and they all made applesauce for dessert. THE END."

Not the most creative, exciting story in the world, but short (which was my only goal).

Colby's response?

"That's such a GOOD ONE, Mom." Thanks little man. They're so easy to please at this age:).

The age of Irrationality

So, I KNOW they were tired on Tuesday night, as we got home late from our church meeting. And I KNOW that they got up way way too early for the next school day. It's just funny to me how that translates into irrational thoughts.

When coming home on Tuesday night, Quinn started crying for a HALF HOUR because he wanted to live in a GRAY house and he was stuck with a BLUE house. I told him our house was gray, but he was NOT buying it. He brought it up again yesterday morning. Very disappointed that we lived in the house we did, because he thought, apparently, (because we had to detour due to a car wreck on the way home on Tuesday night) that we were going to a new house and that THIS TIME it would be gray instead of blue. Sorry. We're not moving every time we have to go home a different way.

Yesterday, then, since they went to bed at 10 pm and woke up at 6 am, I knew the boys would be tired, and picked them up from school rather than having them ride the bus. Colby was already almost comatose by 1 pm. I told the boys we were going to stop by Grandma and Grandpa's house to give them something, and then go home and nap. Quinn INSISTED on stopping by Aunt Diane and Uncle Tom's house first. In MINNESOTA. I told him it was far far away. He said he was in the mood for a long trip. I told him they weren't expecting us, and we didn't know if they were at home. He said "I know! We'll look in a telescope to see far away and find out if they're home!" Good plan, but I did not have a telescope. When we arrived at Grandma and Grandpa's, he cried and refused to get out of the car to say hi for the first 15 minutes or so, because his mean mom refused to take him to Minnesota to visit Aunt Diane and Uncle Tom. Luckily, Grandpa's offer of icecream coaxed him out of the car.

What Quinn learns at School

I was running late for a meeting at church, so I was RUSHED. I was nagging the little boys to move quickly, hurry up, get their shoes on, cram down dinner. Got them in the car, began driving a little too fast down the road. Colby began yelling "MOM! Stop stop stop!" when I was approaching the stop sign. I SAW the stop sign. I was going to stop, just not until I GOT there. Then Quinn says from the back seat...

"MOM! RELAX! Take...A.... Breath!" I burst out laughing. WHERE did he hear that? To my knowledge, I hadn't ever said such a thing to him before. I asked him how he had learned that technique.

"At school." he replied calmly. And it worked! I was laughing so hard, I slowed down, and better yet... calmed down. Now I'm just wondering what Quinn was doing that made his teacher tell him to "RELAX and Take...A.... Breath!".

AAAAHHH!

Colby's little guardian angel is working OVERTIME lately. I was getting the boys ready for school this morning, and ran out of the room for a SECOND to go get an envelope for their book order. Upon my return, I smelled smoke. Quinn told me that Colby had made fire! WHAT??????? And then I saw it.... the box of matches from the candle I had lit last night, sitting on the table, with four spent matches next to it, wafting smoke. AAAAHHHH! My gut reaction was FEAR that he could've burnt down the house and everyone in it. Instead of screaming, I used my new-found "good mommy techniques" I've been studying up on for our Mothers Of Preschoolers meeting tomorrow. I told him, with a VERY earnest voice, how that was VERY VERY VERY VERY dangerous, and he could've hurt himself and everyone else, and to NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER play with matches again. And to myself, I was thinking "NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER leave the matchbox out again!" I think he understood. He gave me a hug and seemed to feel pretty bad about the whole thing, and Quinn kept saying "It wasn't me! It was Colby! I didn't play with fire!" I think my fear registered all the way around. Rob came into the room, and I told him what had happened. He was impressed that Colby had figured out how to light a match off a box, admiring his problem-solving skills and fine-motor control. "He must've watched me light the sauna last night!"
See THIS is the difference between Moms and Dads!!!

For Grandma and Grandpa

Just for Grandma Betty and Grandpa Jim, who live so far, far away.... this is what the boys looked like talking to you tonight. Sitting in Great-Great Grandpa's rocking chair, each with their own phone, REFUSING to say goodbye.

A long drop

Well, it happened, less than a week after bunk beds. 4:30 am this morning. I was in my bedroom, far far away from little boys' room. I heard a THUNK, and knew instantly what had happened. Running as fast as my pregnant body would let me in pitch darkness, I made it upstairs. There was Quinn, whimpering at having been awokened, but still on top of his bed. Where was Colby? I had put him to bed in his lower bunk, but he wasn't there. I checked the floor as best I could in the dark. No Colby. Then, I heard soft crying on top of the boys' stool. He had fallen off the top bunk, and landed on his belly, still asleep, on a 18" square padded stool which had been haphazardly placed in the EXACT place it needed to be to break his fall. Who says there's not Guardian Angels???

Up before the Sun

The boys have been so excited for school that they wake up LOOOONNNGGG before dawn these days. Today - 6:45 am. They came shuffling downstairs, where I was just getting out of the shower. I asked them why they were up so early! It was still "night time!" Quinn put his head in his hands and said "Yes, I see the moon and the stars. Stars are so cool!" And started singing "twinkle twinkle little star" , which he informed me was ALSO a cool song. It was too cute to be irritated at their early rising.

Snoozing through the lecture

While taking a shower tonight, I discovered the boys had emptied the ENTIRE bottle of shampoo, in order to "get the bubbles out". I made a "GRRRRR" sound upon this discovery. "What's wrong mom?" they asked. I told them they had just wasted the shampoo, and I was not happy.
C: "Oh, sorry mom."
Q: "We'll go to the store and get more"
M: "Yes, but that costs money."
C: "Sorry mom."
Q: "What's money?"
M: "Something we don't have alot of to be wasting on bottles of shampoo." As I launched into a full discussion about earning money by working and the importance of spending money wisely, my son Quinn closed his eyes and started to pretend-snore. WHERE did he learn THAT? Come on, boy. The lectures are only BEGINNING in your life. They will get longer and more boring as you get older, I guarantee it.

It begins....

A first yesterday. As regular readers of my blog know, my children have NO QUALMS at all about nakedness, or any state of undress. In any setting. Yesterday, when getting ready for school, Colby took all his clothes into the bathroom to dress. I followed him in, and said "do you need any help?" He said no, picked up his clothes and walked into the CLOSET. OOOOOOHHHH. He wanted PRIVACY! I left the bathroom, and he promptly shut the door behind me. He's been closing the door when going to the bathroom, too - especially when I am around. This is a good sign, as modesty is a sign of maturity, I suppose - but.... I'm his MOMMY!!!!

The family Dog

Both boys were FINALLY in a good mood yesterday, after a week and a half of "horrendous". I'm blaming it on starting school, which means new schedule, increased behavioral demands, few naps, and the onset of colds. It was getting ugly there for awhile. Yesterday, I had my little boys back (at least for the time being). I was thrilled! I could tell by the smiles as soon as they woke up.
I greeted them at the door, rubbed their heads, and said
"Good morning, little boys! How are you today!"

Quinn just looked at me and said "Why are you treating me like a dog?" I didn't follow. A dog?
"Yes! You're patting my head!"

Oh. Sorry. It's just a natural instinct. "Good boy. Good boy."

Superhero parenting

In keeping with Colby's new obsession with superheros, he has dubbed me "MommyMan". WHY, then, do I not feel like I have superpowers??????

I just heard a crash downstairs, and yelled "HEY! What're you doing down there?" His response?
"Running around, saving the day!"

Ohhhhhhhh.

Home from the Hospital

On the way home from the hospital last night, Colby informed me that the baby in HIS belly was also causing pre-term labor. "Baby Tucker is making my belly hurt!" I comiserated. Poor Colby. Us pregnant people have to stick together. But then he said "No, maybe it's just the sweet potatoes" (that he had for dinner at grandma's). Figures.

And the truth comes out

At breakfast this morning, the boys started replaying a scene from the bus yesterday.
Q: "The busdriver said 'SIT DOWN! BUCKLE UP!'"
C: "'PUT YOUR SHOES BACK ON!'"
Q: "'I'LL HAVE TO STOP THE BUS AND TAKE YOU BACK HOME!'"

Needless to say, I was a little alarmed.
M: "Did you get out of your seat while the bus was moving????"
Q&C: Giggling. "Yeah - but the busdriver said 'SIT DOWN! BUCKLE UP!'"

We had a long talk about how that was NOT safe, and that they were under no circumstances to EVER get out of their (obviously not very secure) 5 point harness seat belts. I confirmed the incident with the busdriver this morning. HOW did they unbuckle their seatbelts, I asked. She told me they just squirmed out, without unbuckling them and then stood up on the seat. She said she didn't really mind about the undressing thing (it was only shoes this time, thank goodness), but seatbelts were a must, so she had to be stern. I concurred.

So, as they were getting off the bus this afternoon, I heard Colby say to the busdriver
"I was a good boy! I stayed in my seat!" WHEW! Then he looked at me and said "MOM! You were a BIG GIRL! You didn't cry!" Guess it was a good day for all of us.

Preparing for the SECOND day of school.

As I was saying prayers and kissing the boys goodnight tonight, I told them they needed to get some sleep, as they had school again tomorrow.
"Mom, are you going to cry again?" they asked. I can't make any promises, but I think I'll be able to control myself.

The Adventures of ColbyMan and QuinnBoy

New favorite outfit: thermal swimsuits with backwards bibs. New favorite eyewear: goggles. New favorite saying: "To the RESCUE! And BEEEEYYYOONNDDD!"

Let's hope they don't grow up for a long, long time.

The Agenda for the First Day of School

We have talked repeatedly about what the first day of school will be like for Quinn and Colby. They have met their teachers, and tonight we had orientation where they got to see the classroom and playground, and sit on the bus. Afterwards, we bought ice cream and took it to grandma LaVerne's to celebrate the onset of the school age. I asked Colby to tell Grandma what school was going to be like. This is what he said:

"I will get up early to go to school and play with toys. I will ride the bus. Mommy will cry."

Yes. Mommy will.

Getting Ready for Preschool

The boys had a home visit today from Teacher Rosemary and Teacher Karen, in preparation for starting preschool next week. They are VERY excited to start preschool and ride a school bus!!! They each got to pick out a symbol to represent them for the year, starting with the first letter of their name. Colby's is a canoe. Quinn had much more limited options, obviously. He is now a "queen". His father's going to LOVE that one.

The things they think are funny

The boys' new favorite words are "baby diaper". This is the ultimate in off-color humor to them. Every time the words "baby diaper" are said, they dissolve into mischevious giggles. They've been using it CONSTANTLY. In context or not.

"Quinn... you're wearing a BABY DIAPER!" heee heee hee hee hee
"I think this car needs a BABY DIAPER!" ha ha ha ha ha
"That baby is wearing a BABY DIAPER!" ho ho ho ho ho.

Was it not less than 6 months ago THEY were wearing baby diapers???? WHY is that funny? I suppose it could be worse. They're also spending a whole lot of time talking about "petey" lately. We have discussed how certain... uh... body parts need to be "secret" (they don't understand the word private yet), and not be whipped out in public to pee just anywhere, and not be spoken of continually in general company. This often accompanies the lesson about keeping hands out of their pants.

OOOOHHHH, boys. How different life will be with a little girl!!!

ARRRGGGHHH!

I'm having alot of AAARRRGGGHH! moments with the boys lately. Today at Walmart, Colby said he was thirsty. We were just checking out, so I told him to wait until we got home, and I would get him some water. In the parking lot, I was loading groceries into the trunk and asked both boys to get into the car and get their seatbelts on. Quinn did, but Colby dawdled. I found him thirty seconds later with wet pants.
"Colby! I asked you to get into the car, not jump in mud puddles!"
"But Mom, I didn't jump in the mud puddle. I drank it!"

AAARRRGGGHHH!

Disaster Narrowly Diverted

I am deathly afraid of quiet in the house recently, given that it usually means something destructive is going on. This morning, after investigating "the quiet", I found a can of Campbell's tomato soup, two bowls, and a can opener under my bed... this on top of my newly-professionally-shampooed, light-colored carpet. Luckily, I scattered the culprits in time. WHEW! Close one!

The Informer

It's odd to me to have actual, informative conversations that are accurate (once properly deciphered) with my children. It's a whole new experience for us. After working a 13 hour shift today, thoroughly exhausted, I picked up my boys at 9:30 pm from Grandma and Grandpa Aho's. I had tried to call from work earlier, and ask the sitter Beth how the carpet man had done getting the pink paint out of the carpet. I was, after all, paying him alot of money. She was apparently having "a day", thanks to Colby smearing poop all over the carpet UPSTAIRS, and was unable to answer the phone. I don't pay Beth NEARLY enough for what she goes through. Anyways, at 9:30 pm last night, going home, I ask the boys if the carpet guy came.

"Yes," Quinn says. "I talked to the carpet boy. "
M: "Did he clean up the paint?"
Q: "He say 'try again' 'try again'. Paint not clean." This is NOT what I wanted to hear.
M: "Are you sure? He didn't get the paint cleaned up?"
C: "Can we both sleep in the purple bed?"
M: "Uh, no. You paint things when you're together and make mom MAD."
C:"I won't paint anything"
M:" Is the carpet clean?"
Q: "No. He needs to clean again."
M: "I just paid him alot of money. Is there paint still on the CARPET? I know there's still paint on the walls."
Q: "No. Paint still on the carpet."

I really didn't believe him. After all, I was assured when I called that this highly experienced carpet cleaner would be able to get the paint out of the carpet, which, after all, was why I was paying him nearly $200.....

Quinn was right. Not only do I still have to repaint the nursery. The carpet is still pink. And now I'm out another $200 on top of it all. And NO, Colby... you can NEVER sleep together in the same room for as long as you live. DON'T EVEN ASK.

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

The boys were SUPPOSED to be taking a nap. They were, after all, fairly quiet downstairs in what will be the nursery. I heard a giggle so went to go check. They have painted the nursery walls, carpet, curtains, bedspread, and part of the living room wall PINK. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! I AM PREGNANT. It takes all of my energy to get through a project ONCE, let alone having to redo it multiple times because of destructive children.

The funny things they say

So, Quinn woke up this morning, convinced that there was a "dragon fly" (his word for a dragon) in the wall of his room, scratching to get out and eat him last night. I think I may have convinced him there wasn't, but only because it's now the light of day. He said "and you and Colby were downstairs, and I was upstairs alone". Poor guy. He throws a HUGE tantrum any time I make him sleep in his own room anymore, and I have a sneaking suspicion it's because he's AFRAID.

As we were cleaning their room this morning, Quinn decides he has to go to the bathroom. I told him to go downstairs, but he wanted to use the little potty I have in there for nighttime emergencies. Colby, playing in the playroom and hearing the "tinkle of water", says "Ohhhh, it's raining outside today!". Too funny.

Well-cultured

It's pretty bad when you four year old son is more "cultured" than you. We were driving to the park, the boys and I, and I had classical music on the radio. Quinn asked "what's this song?" I told him I had no idea. Colby piped up "It's the Donald Duck song!" I know that the boys' favorite movie of all time is Fantasia 2000, and in it, Donald Duck does Noah's Ark to Pomp and Circumstance... so when Colby says "Donald Duck", he really means "Pomp and Circumstance". Thing is, that wasn't this song. "No, Colby," I informed him wisely. "This isn't Pomp and Circumstance. That's a different song". He didn't contradict me. You know, Mom knows best. Not 30 seconds later, though, the song transitioned to the next movement, and sure enough... there was the traditional "DAAAA da da da DUMMMMM DUMMMMM" heard at every highschool graduation since the beginning of time. OOOOHHH. "Yeah, I guess it IS the Donald Duck song." Humility, thy name is motherhood.

Endless Questions

Quinn has been asking alot of questions lately. This is good, as I know it means he's curious, and wants to learn. The problem is, I don't really readily have answers to 96.9% of them. Here's a sample:

Q: "Mom, what are you doing?"
M: "Driving you to the doctor's."
Q: "No, what are you DOING?"
M: "Sitting?"
Q: "No, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
M: "I don't know".


Q: "Mom, what is the dirt doing?"
M: "Uhhhh... lying on the ground?"


Q: "Mom, who built that fence?"
M: "I have no clue."

Q: "Mom, what is dad doing?"
M: "Working?"
Q: "No, what is he DOING?"
M: "Sitting at the worksite?"
Q: "No, WHAT IS HE DOING?"
M: "I don't know."

Poor Beth

Poor Beth. While I was at work this morning, Beth tried to get the boys dressed. Colby didn't want Diego underwear. He wanted Mater underwear. Because their mother has yet to put the clean laundry away, and instead hides it behind her bed until she gets a chance to do it, Beth couldn't FIND Mater underwear. So she insisted Colby wear Diego. Colby then proceded to pee and poop his pants, and then innocently ask "NOW can I wear Mater underwear???" Answer: still no. We are NOT going to reinforce THAT.

Literary Warning

We checked out the book "The History of Mother Twaddle and the Marvelous Achievements of her son Jack" from the library. This is a retelling of the "Jack and the Beanstalk" story, based on the ORIGINAL version of that story published in 1807. The boys LOVE Jack and the Beanstalk, so I thought we had a winner here. Uhhhh. No. In this version, the giant gets drunk and passes out, and Jack beheads him with a knife, before running off and marrying the "servant girl". Nice. Just what I want to explain to four year olds. We'll be returning that one to the library soon.

THIS is the status of our mealtimes at the moment. Eat nothing, goof around, make your

brother laugh, burp, scatter your food all over the table and floor, then.... when Mom and Dad get upset and set the timer, shove the entire dinner in your mouth all at once. UGH! HOW do we teach little boys table manners??????

Life with the Big Boy

I know I intended this blog to be about the funny things the little boys say when they're not intending to be funny, but sometimes... I've got to record the things the big boy says when HE'S not intending to be funny. Rob has been buying beer in these miniature kegs for the past few weeks. They are stacking up in the yard, which made the wife unhappy. I asked him why he didn't recycle them or throw them away. "I was saving them for you to do a craft project with," he told me. How thoughtful. He suggested that I make a a snow man out of them for Christmas. No thank you. So tonight, he comes into the house and announces "I know what I'm going to do with those kegs. I'm going to glue them all together, and make a floating dock at my parents' house, for the boys to jump and swim off of!" He was very excited about this, and began slipping into engineer mode. "Each keg holds the equivalent of 11 pounds, which provides 11 pounds of buoyancy when filled with air. " Numbers began flying, brain wheels whirring, the density of water cogitated, designs imagined, and THIS was the final answer that came from all those calculations...... "Hmmmmm. I'm going to have to drink more beer."

How did I know that would be the answer?????

Maturation

WOW! The boys have had a brain-cell expanding day today. It all started with our conversation about registering for pre-school tomorrow. They are VERY excited about the prospect of school, and we talked about the "big boy" things they will be doing at school -- riding a bus, reading stories, singing songs, learning to write, and having a snack ("I don't want oranges" Quinn told me. I'll be sure and let the teacher know that ahead of time.) Anyways.... so, after this "big boy" conversation, these all-time "firsts" occurred in the household:

#1 - Both boys learned how to spell their names - not just "I start with a C" and "I start with a Q".

#2 - Both boys decided they wanted to learn how to write letters (previously very uninterested in most fine motor tasks) and traced the entire alphabet. Heretofore, we were limited to the letters "T" "H" "A" "O" "C" "X" and "Q". They even learned the song "where do you start your letters? At the top!"

#3 - Both boys took turns playing a memory game, actually followed rules, remembered where matches were - the works.

#4 - The boys voluntarily ate vegetables for lunch, noting that it was making them big and strong to eat carrots. Quinn even asked for second helpings!

#5 - This is a biggie -- BOTH BOYS ARE SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED FOR A NAP! What self control!!! We've been trying this for, I don't know, a year? We reviewed "the rules" for trying to sleep together, as usual. Then, Quinn asked "do superheros sleep?" I replied in the affirmative. Colby asked "Do superheros talk when they're trying to sleep?" Nope, just sleep. "Does sleep make superheros strong?" Yup. The strongest. That's all it took. They are desperate to become superheros. I didn't hear a peep after that!!

My little boys are growing up!

Brotherhood

As I was putting Quinn to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight, he began to look sad.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I miss Colby." he replied. I knew that he has spent nearly every waking moment of the past 4 years of his young life with his brother, not to mention the 7 1/2 months of close quarters in the womb, and had seen the boy not more than 1 minute ago. How could he possibly MISS him?

"Would you like to go upstairs and see him?"

"Yes"

"So you want to fall asleep in your own bed?"

"Ohhh. No. I'll stay here."

So much for missing his brother. He went right to sleep without another word.

Going to Bed

I tried to let the boys fall asleep in the same room again tonight. Mistake. After 45 minutes and several dire warnings, I carried Colby upstairs to his own room.
"MOM!" he explained. "You can't put me to bed, I'm already asleep!"
"Then why are you talking to me?" I ask.
"I'm not. I'm asleep."
"Then who's talking to me right now?"
"Handy, my hand.". OOOOOHHHH. I see. Silly me. Don't you hate it when your handstays awake, and it's the REST of you that falls asleep????

Snoring

Quinn has been on a ROLL today, saying the funniest, cutest things. I'm writing them all down, because I just don't want to forget this age. The nice thing about having more than one child is you can use small amounts of competition to obtain certain behaviors. I have absolutely no problems getting the children into bed, because, every day, I just say "Whoever gets into the purple bed first gets to sleep in there!" (purple bed = guest bedroom). It was a tie today, so we're trying both boys in there. As I'm putting blankets on them, Quinn shuts his eyes, pretends to snore. I leaned in, and heard him snore this with each exhale.... "KKKNNNNXXXXZZZZ I win I win I win I win KKKKNNNNXXXZZZZ I win I win I win I win I win." Too funny.

A visitor at Breakfast

After we said grace this morning before breakfast, Quinn asks me "What is Jesus doing?"
M: "What is he DOING?"
Q: "Yeah, what's he doing?"
M: "Well, I guess he's listening to you pray to him."
Q: "No, He's not."
M: "No?"
Q: "He's eating breakfast with me."
M: "Yup, I bet you're right."

I'm Not Ready Yet

So I go into the boys' room this morning to find Colby crying on the floor. What's wrong?
C: "Quinn hit me! WAAAAHHHHHH!"
M: "Quinn, did you hit Colby?"
Q: "My hand bumped him."
M: "On accident?"
Q: "No."
M: "Well, you need to go give him a hug and tell him you're sorry."
Q: "I can't. My hand hurts."
M: "Well, we'll wait then. We're not leaving the room until you say you're sorry."
C: "WAAAAAHHHHH".
Q: "I'm not ready yet".
M: "Ok, we'll wait"
Time elapses. Staring at the floor occurs.
M: "Are you ready yet?"
Q: "No, not yet."
More time elapses. Staring at the floor continues.
Q: "What's wrong with Colby? Is he tired? He should go back to bed."
More time elapses. More staring at the floor.
Q: "OK, I'm ready now. " Gives Colby a hug. "I'm sorry. I love you. Would you like a blanket? Do you want a McQueen book? Let's go get breakfast."

Now, was that so hard????

Big Boys

On our way home from Minnesota this past weekend, I was listening to the news on the radio. They were interviewing members of congress, and I was getting riled up. "Oh give me a break!" I told the radio. Quinn, from the back seat, asks me "What's wrong mom?" "Oh, nothing. Just the news." "What's wrong with the news?" "Congress. It's being silly." "They're silly?" "Yes," I replied. Then Quinn said the wisest thing I've heard in a really long time. "They need to grow up and be big boys." YES, Quinn. They DO.

Don't Get Mad

On the way to the doctor's office today, Quinn asked where Colby's carseat was.

"With grandma, in case she needs to go somewhere with Colby" I replied.

"Mom... where's Colby's carseat?"

"In grandma's car"

"Where's the carseat?"

"With grandma!"

And a fourth time, in the span of two minutes... "Where's the carseat, Mom?"

"Quinn!" I replied, with obvious impatience in my voice. "Did you hear what I told you? I said it was in grandma's car!"

"Mom, don't get MAD!" He tells me. I apologized. But sheesh!!! Come on!

The Herons

We saw a family of blue herons on Grandma and Grandpa's lawn by the lake today. Quinn, from afar, said "MOM! I've got to go talk to them!" (They are taller than he is). I told him that #1)they don't speak English, and #2)if he got close, it would probably scare them, and they'd fly away. He replied matter-of-factly "No. I'll just quack at them, then they won't be scared." Good thinking. That'll fool 'em.

Scary Playroom

When the boys woke up this morning, Quinn said that he heard a "squeak squeak" in the walls, and it scared him. This is the 2nd or 3rd time he's mentioned it. Is he hearing mice? Are there squirrels? A bat? All possible, and equally as likely. Quinn's theory? "It's the dolls in the playroom. They're SCARY. They want to hurt me". Poor kid. I don't know what in his little life experience has caused him to be afraid of Raggedy Ann and Andy, but he is very afraid of them, and hides them in the crawl space every time I return them to the playroom. I suggested he switch beds with Colby, as his bed stares right into the playroom. He started laughing like I was insane. "But that's COLBY's bed! THIS is my bed!" God forbid we switch sides of the room! That would turn the world upside down! He'd rather risk being haunted by red-haired rag dolls. I think, once the baby comes, Raggedy Ann and Andy will be moved down to her room....

Grandpa Al's Tractor

Grandpa Al brought his old tractor over to the house for a short visit this past weekend. There is nothing better than something old and greasy with wheels, apparently, according to anyone with a Y-chromosome. That sentiment doesn't seem to have an age-limit, either!

Frogs

I was mowing the lawn today, when Quinn frantically ushered me over to the front sidewalk. I saw that he was pointing to a frog lying there, and gave him a thumbs up sign and a smile. "How cute that he wants to show me a frog!" I thought. He kept mouthing something, so I finally turned off the lawn mower. "MOM!" he cried. "WHAT IS THAT???" "A frog, silly". "No it's not," he said. "Yes, Quinn... that's a frog." "But it doesn't have a mouth!" he said. I then went to stand by Quinn, who was looking at the frog from the front. OHHHHHH. There was no mouth, because there was no HEAD. Obviously, this frog had been a victim of my lawn mowing. GROSSSSSSS.

Life with my boys

Aunt Teena sent this, and it made me smile, because I LIVE this every single day... times two!

The Key to Getting Them to Eat Dinner

5:00 pm
Mom: "Time for dinner!!"
Boys: "YUCK! I don't want casserole!"

6:30 pm
Mom: "Time for dinner!!"
Boys: "YUCK! I don't want casserole!"

9:30 pm
Boys: "Mom, I'm hungry!"
Mom: "Eat some casserole."
Boys: "Mom, can I have some casserole now?"

YES! Starvation has it's benefits. They even ate BROCCOLI. I'll just have to keep myself awake long enough for them to get REALLY hungry.

Superheros Defined

Again doing our daily pick up of the boys' room. The boys are getting very creative with their excuses as to why they are unable to help.

Mom: "I'll make your bed and you pick up the playroom."
Quinn: "What? I can't do that! I'm not a super-hero!"

By that definition, I must be the mightiest super-hero alive....

Kalani Sandwich

Our neighbor Kalani came over to play tonight. I try to use him as a good example of how BIG BOYS WEAR CLOTHES, but that doesn't seem to be sinking in at all. They came up with this "Kalani Sandwich Slide" game tonight. Pretty funny....

Tickle Time

Rob was tickling Quinn's belly tonight. This was his response:
Quinn: "Dad! Don't tickle my belly! It makes the baby in there cry!"
Yes. We must be very careful around those pregnant male three year olds....

The Rules

I usually eventually separate the boys for naps, as together only spells T.R.O.U.B.L.E. We try, every day, though, to see if they can sleep in the same room, because they really want to, and ask every day to try. I feel like it's a good lesson in self-control, so we try. Today, as I put them in the guest room (the "purple bed" as they call it), we reviewed the ground rules.

Mom: "If you want to stay in here together, what are the rules?"
Quinn: "No jumping"
Colby: "No fighting"
Quinn: "No getting out of bed"
Colby: "No talking"
Quinn: "No eating ice cream"
Colby: "No going to grandma and grandpa's house".

Uhhhh... I don't remember setting those last two, but... yes. No eating ice cream and no going to grandma and grandpa's house at nap-time. As I'm typing this, I hear them breaking rules #1-4, so I guess self-control is out the window for another day, and it's time to go be Mean Mommy. Surprisingly, their additional rules seem to be the only ones they can keep!

New Teaching Experience

So here's something new and exciting we got to teach the boys last night on our way to a barbecue... how to meet a policeman up close and personal!! This is what you do, in order to give YOUR kids the same thrilling experience ours had.... forget to pay your licenseplate registration, and then drive slowly in front of a policeman who has nothing better to do than look at the little color of the sticker on your license plate. Try not to swear loudly when you see lights flashing behind you, and drive a full mile before finding an appropriate spot to pull over, all the time having your spouse say "what did I do wrong? I wasn't speeding! I didn't run a red light!" Mutter under your breath as you frantically search in your purse for proof of insurance and registration... find your OLD tabs that you forgot to put on several months ago, and realize that... oh, those are now expired, too!!! Tell your children, when they ask why we aren't moving any more, that "we have to wait for the nice policeman to give us a ticket!" Smile when the boys are very excited to get a ticket... thinking it's the same kind of ticket used at the fair or on carnival rides. Frantically explain to your spouse in hushed whispers, so as not to alarm the children, that you THOUGHT you paid the registration, but obviously.... can I blame it on pregnancy brain again????? Probably not. Arrive 40 minutes late for said barbecue, in not-so-pleasant moods.

Cleaning

We've been trying to clean the boys' room in the morning before going down to breakfast. This morning, I asked Quinn to help me pick up books and put them back on the shelf.

Q: "I can't".
Mom: "Why can't you pick up books?"
Q: "I'm too little".
Mom: "No, you're just the right size for picking up books."
Q: "Picking up books makes me very sad."
Mom: "Sad?"
Q: "Yes. It makes me cry."

Whatever.

Gender Differences

Our conversation at breakfast this past weekend:

Q: "I'm a boy".
C: "I'm a boy".
Q&C: "Daddy's a boy".
Q: "Mommy's a girl".
Mom: "Yup. What's the difference between a boy and a girl?"
Q: "Mom starts with M and Dad starts with D".
True 'nuf.

Swimming

I just found Quinn standing on a stool at the kitchen sink, his head fully submerged in my dirty dishwater. The kid is DESPERATE to swim, in whatever water is available. My husband just shrugged and said "at least it wasn't the toilet". Yeah. TODAY it wasn't the toilet, but who knows about next time.... I would've taken a picture, but I didn't want to reinforce bad behavior. It was a tough parental call. I was torn, but good parenting won out for once.

The Benefit of Twins

Now that the boys are potty trained, they are taking alot of the "congratulations" load off of me. Colby went "brown yuckie" today, and instead of calling for me, he went straight for Quinn. "QUINN! QUINN! I went brown yuckie! Come see!". I'm obviously not needed anymore. Oh wait... here they come. They BOTH want to show me their "successes" now. And give them a treat. So, until Quinn learns to bake cookies, I guess I AM still needed :) Thank goodness.

A conversation

Our conversation on the way to the parade today:

Q: "We're going to a parade not a circus. Circus' have elephants".
Mom: "Yes. "
Q: "Can I ride an elephant?"
Mom: "When you're a big boy."
Q: "I'm bigger!"
Mom: "How old are you?"
C: "I'm Colby."
Q:" I'm Quinn."
Mom: "No, how OLD are you?"
C & Q: "I'm a boy."
Mom: "No, how OLD are you?"
Q & C: "3?"
Mom: "Yes, and how old will you be on your birthday?"
No response.
Mom: "You will be 4 on your birthday."
Q:"Mom, can I be 4?"
Mom: "On your birthday."
Q: "Mom, can I have a birthday?"
Mom: "In a few months."
Q: "Can I ride an elephant on my birthday?"
Mom: "How bout you can ride a school bus when you turn 4?"
Q&C: "OK".

Independence Part II

So, I'm glad that they're trying to fix their own breakfast. That's a good thing, right? But using the butcher knives unsupervised to cut up bananas, and then pouring their own oatmeal... when does independence become less hazardous and messy??????

For the Record

Just to document it officially for all posterity.... Colby wore underwear to bed last night and woke up DRY. WOOO HOOOO. Quinn also wore underwear to bed and woke up soaked. 50% ain't bad.

Independence

Colby is dressing himself these days. He doesn't always get it right.

Papa Jim

The boys found little wooden sticks this morning, and put them in their mouths, saying "Mom! Look at me!" At first I was afraid they were pretending to smoke, but we don't even KNOW anyone who smokes. Then I noticed that they kept calling each other "Papa". Papa? "Model T Papa" they said. Then it occurred to me... my dad walks around with a toothpick in his mouth, and drives a Model T. We were on our way to ice cream (see our News Flash under Essentially Aho), and I had to encourage the boys to get into the van. "I'm not Colby, I'm PAPA!" he said. He refused to budge, unless I called him Papa Colby, and let him take his "toothpick". Funny.

The Tramp

No, it's not really this warm outside.... my children just insist on taking their clothes off, despite the 50 degree weather. They're obviously moving around enough to keep their body temperature up, so I won't be too concerned.

The Circus

We took Quinn and Colby to the Shriner's Circus last night. Given that it STARTED at bedtime, we should've had low expectations, and we were not disappointed. Quinn actually paid attention, and seemed to enjoy himself, but Colby whined CONSTANTLY... "I want juice, I want popcorn, I want a toy, I want cotton candy".... unfortunately, there are alot of things to "I want" at the circus. We were tempted to cave when it came to riding an elephant (how often can you say that you've ridden an elephant?), but at $7 a pop for a single loop around a 10 ft diameter circle, I'd say he could wait. The animal acts were amusing, but I don't know WHY, at a family affair geared for children, the acrobats have to wear next to NOTHING. The ladies wore thong little outfits that left very little to the imagination, and I had to explain that to 3 year old boys. "Mom, is she wearing a diaper?" No. "Mom, is she even wearing underwear?" Apparently not. "Mom, she has a belly button." Yes. For all the world to see..... Oh well. We left at intermission, as it was almost 9:30 at that point and well past bedtime, dragging two crying, whining children with us. Happy day.

Jesus and the Garbage Truck

Quinn has named his little toy man "Jesus". Jesus is a garbage truck driver, and does things like run over the piano in his yellow truck and yell "Get out of here, girl!". I thought this was a tad disrespectful, and suggested that the driver be named "Diego" or "Joe". Nothin' doin'. I suggested calling him "Garbage Truck Man", but that is apparently too long. Rob suggested pronouncing it "Hay-Zeuss", like the spanish do. That was also nixed. It seems as if "Jesus" has stuck.

The Medical Profession

I was lying down with the boys today, attempting to nap, and obviously I was the only one who was tired. Colby announced that he was "Dr. Colby", and Quinn was "Dr. Quinn". They determined, after a very thorough, uncomfortable, and up-close examination, that mom's hair needed "fixing", that I had "owies" on my chin (those are zits, boys), and that I had spots and holes in my ears. I don't know about the spots, but the holes I paid good money for back when I was 13. Their cures included kisses, smothering me with a pillow to help me "stay nice and warm", and turning their hands into little instruments that made a "ZZZZZZ" sound, which was apparently inspired by the word "zit". THANK GOODNESS I am healthy now. And yet, not a-one of us got a wink of sleep.

The Most Beautiful Sound in the World

I'm upstairs, and I just heard the pitter patter of little footsteps spontaneously run into the bathroom, and then a toilet flush seconds later. That... is wonderful. Hooray!!!

How I Loathe Dinner time with 3 year olds

"Quinn, get your hands out of your pants. No. OK. Get your hands out of your underwear. Colby, I swear... do not spit your milk... you will get that milk taken away if you spit that... I told you. Now it's gone. Eat your enchilada. PLEASE. You like chicken. You like cheese. Here comes the airplane... open the hangar wide! Quinn, I said get your hands out of your pants. That's gross. Do you see Dad with his hands in his pants? That's because Daddy is a big boy. Get your feet off the table. Don't laugh. Your brother is NOT funny. Colby. Stop gagging. It's not yucky. Just EAT IT. It had better stay in your mouth. DO NOT SPIT OUT THE ENCHILADA. Use your fork like a big boy. EEWWWW. Don't rub your hands in sour cream like that... why do you do that? No, it is NOT lotion. Quinn-- time out. You may join us when you are ready to use silverware. Colby, if you want dessert, you have to eat your enchilada. If you get up from that chair, that means your are DONE with dinner, and there will be no dessert. I don't care. You have to eat your enchilada first. Quinn, get your HANDS OUT OF YOUR PANTS! "


UUUUGGGGGHHHH! When do we get to the part where we talk about each other's lives, and this becomes the most important, enjoyable time of the day????????

Boys on the Deck

Dad's favorite daily activity: Sitting on the back porch, "unwinding" while enjoying the view and a cold beverage. Boys' new favorite activity: Sitting on the back porch like Dad, "unwinding" while enjoying the view and a cold beverage. I feel my "Rock Star Mom" status slipping.

Poison Control

Yet another phone call was placed to Michigan Poison Control today. The boys proudly announced, upon coming up from the basement, that they had eaten ALL of their Dora vitamins. They had the empty bottle and the brown faces to prove it. When asked how many exactly they ate, Quinn began pointing to his belly and counting "1,2,3,4,5...." OK. Enough for a phone call. I keep those things up high in a cupboard, but obviously, they know how to climb. We're going to have quite the record in the Poison Control Center database. Yet another bad mommy moment.

Boogyin' down

It would be cuter if you could actually hear the music.....

FOCUS

I tend to be somewhat skeptical about herbal remedies and things of an "alternative" nature. It's part of having a science background and being in the medical field, I'm sure. But I have started giving the boys an Omega-3 supplement. I did this several months ago, noticed huge improvements in language and general "maturity", and then stopped, thinking it was all in my head. Well, I started again a few days ago. I can't say FOR SURE if it helps. But the boys just spent an hour and 15 minutes quietly sitting and playing play-doh, and THEN they continued to sit and paint pictures for an additional 20 minutes. That just does not happen in our house. That much "stillness" is unheard of. Maybe they're just maturing in general. It seems a tad coincidental, though. I'll tell you one thing. I like these new and improved, focused, un-manic children. It makes me feel like a better parent!

Mommy-cize

This is how a REAL woman works out.....

Clean Children

I love the smell of CLEAN BOY, which I get to enjoy for the first 30 seconds out of the shower, before the next accident, mud-puddle, spilt milk, or peanut butter sandwich. AAAAAHHHHH.

Breakfast

Today we ate "Dutch Baby" for breakfast, which is basically eggs, flour, and milk baked together. It is Quinn and Colby's favorite. Half way through the meal, Colby started to pretend cry. Quinn asked "What's the matter, baby?"while looking at Colby's plate. Colby answered "It's okay, I'm happy". It took Rob and I a second to realize that Colby was pretending to BE his food... the "Dutch Baby". Quinn, on the other hand, knew right away that it was the breakfast dish having A MOMENT. Their world. Rob and I feel like such outsiders sometimes.

BedTime Prayers

The boys' night time prayers are like sneak peeks into their little heads. Tonight, they thanked God for candy, kangaroos, playdoh, and cookies. All good things, and worthy of thanks. And I thank God for two little boys.

Quiet Afternoon

JUST when I think that I will never see the day that little boys will ever just sit and be still for longer than 15 seconds --they voluntarily grab their sleeping bags (after stripping down naked, of course), hop inside, and read quietly to themselves. So far, this has been going on for 30 minutes. Those that aren't around us daily do not know what an abnormality this is. I am in shock. Pleasant, smile-inducing shock.

Feelin' The Burn

Mommy got a new toy to help her look skinny and fit. Little boys thought they needed a some exercise, too (as if the CONSTANT running, jumping, somersaulting, dancing, fidgeting, squirming, tackling, and climbing wasn't quite enough to burn all the peanut-butter and jelly calories they eat). I find it amusing that one whole of them does not even BEGIN to weigh what a single one of my legs does, and that they have to stand with their whole body on one pedal to get it to move. And the teamwork of one-on-each-pedal. Quite humorous. That was, until Quinn got stuck in the "mechanism", and Colby didn't understand to get off of his pedal to free Quinn's pinned little leg, and mommy was too busy taking pictures of it all to realize what had happened. OOPS. We'll be more careful in the future.

Ready for Spring

The boys dug their bikes out from under the porch today, and tried riding them in the snow. Not too successful. We are SO ready for Spring here!!! Unfortunately, we've still got a few feet of snow to melt before bike riding becomes a daily activity again.

Preparing for Easter

We have been talking alot lately about the meaning of Easter. That's not an easy feat for two boys whose language and comprehension skills are far from complete. Christmas... now THAT was an easy holiday to explain. They know who Jesus is. And they know (dream about, talk constantly about, and ask daily about) birthdays. So, Jesus' birthday... easy explanation, at least on an elementary level. Easter has been more of a struggle for all of us. They don't know what sin is. They have never experienced, and I don't even think I've used the word, death before. So, I've been attempting to put the Easter story in a way that makes 3 year old sense. And like I said, I have struggled quite a bit. Last night, though, Quinn and Colby explained Easter to their Daddy, and it was awfully cute....

"Colby was bad, and Jesus took his spanking. He got very hurt and sad. Jesus cried. But on Easter the angel said 'He is not here! He is risen!'" This from Colby. Then Quinn said " And Jesus wasn't in the cave anymore!" Only... it was much harder to understand than that, with bits of gibberish here and there. But that was the geist of what they were saying. And Colby kept pointing to himself and saying "for me! For Colby!" So, maybe.... they understand enough for now....

He's got LEGS

My high-heeled sandals never looked so good....

Swim Lessons

Our last swim lesson for the season. Both boys were jumping off the side of the pool, and swimming under water about 5-7 feet unsupported. There's certainly not a trace of fear when it comes to water. I wish there might be a LITTLE fear. Oh well. Better teach them to swim quick, because otherwise, they'll just jump in and sink!

The things we learn, the hard way

FYI - According to the Michigan Poison Control Center located in Lansing, MI.... it is not excessively harmful for a 3 year old to ingest 66,640% of the ADULT recommended daily dosage of Vitamin C, even if that 3 year old happens to only have one kidney. The same is true for, say, TWO 3 year olds. Their urine, however, may have a fruity smell for several days afterwards. Don't ask me how I know this.

Loving Ghosts

The boys' new favorite phrase is "nice and warm".. as in "Mom, I need to get nice and warm". Given that the average outside temperature has rarely topped double digits over the past month, this is to be expected. Today, after a shower, the boys rushed immediately to their blankies, to get "nice and warm". A little wrestling and hugging also helped to increase body temperature. They're smiling under there, I know they are!