Growing Up

My boys are growing up, and on one hand, I am relieved by their independence in such endeavors as making their own lunch, getting themselves dressed in the morning, taking themselves out to the bus stop.  It's nice that they are now strong enough to help me lift a box or move furniture.  I appreciate that when we play a board game, there's actual challenge there.  When we go skiing or ride a bike - they can keep up, more than keep up - we can fun on that level as equals.  I like all that.  I see how they're getting smarter and stronger along with getting taller, and that's good.  There's a part of me, though, that misses the little ones they used to be.  The little boys who used to get so excited when I came home from work and rush to give me a kiss and a hug.    The boys who wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle to read a book, or hold my hand to cross the street.  I can't remember the last time a boy wanted to hold my hand in public.  When was it?  I didn't know it would be the last time, it didn't even register.  I assumed there'd be more, but there hasn't been more.  That makes me sad.  Santa and the Tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny have moved on from their lives.  The magic of "little" childhood has been replaced by friends and video games and groans and rolling eyes, and shrugs when their mother tries to put her hand on their shoulder.   They're funny now on purpose, instead of saying cute things out of innocence.  They don't remember a time when they would beg for goodnight kisses or to be "tucked in".  They never ask for a night-time "Quinn and Colby" story.  They go to bed on their own, although I'm still making it a point to go into their room and say goodnight.  I'm not ready to give that up yet, even if they are.  

 It's as it should be, I suppose   It's my job to grow them into manhood, and I wouldn't want to stifle that for the world.  But... I can't deny.... I miss the way we used to be, just a bit.  I miss being the person they ran to when they're hurt, I miss them wanting me to kiss their pains away.  I miss being needed by them, even though I know they still need me.  THEY don't know they still need me - they know it all, at nine years old.  So I'll shed my own little Mommy tears without them knowing.  They'd think it was all silly, anyways.  And maybe I'll sneak in at night when they're asleep, and I'll still give them a kiss goodnight, when they can't pull away and flinch.  Because I'll always be their mommy, and they'll always be my little boys, no matter how old or big they get.

Of European Descent

We were having a snack at the kitchen island, the children and I.  Colby, who has been a bit under the weather, was coughing over everyone else's food.  I grabbed his arm and physically made him cover his mouth.

Mom: "Colby, you need to cover your mouth.  You're spreading germs to everyone else.  We don't want to eat your sick germs."

Quinn: "That's Colby, Mom.  He's Germ-Man."

Colby, without missing a beat, says "No, but I'm German." 

he he he.  Yes, there's a little German in there, boy.  And a whole lot of Germ-man.

The problem with twins

There was a dispute over a certain library book that both boys wanted to read simultaneously. Things were getting ugly quick, so Dad intervened with age-old wisdom. 

   "We will do rock-paper-scissors to determine who gets to read the book."  Certainly sounded like a good idea.  Dad had forgotten the resonant brain wave phenomena, though. It took TWENTY rounds before the boys did something other than tie. Freaky. 

Quinn ended up winning by the way. 

Definitions

Quinn: "MOOOOOOMMMM!  Reagan's committing adultery!!!!"
Mom: "Say WHAT?!?!"
Quinn:  "She's flashing her butt at me!"



Reagan.........grrrrrrrr.    That's a little trick she learned from her brothers.

Life Lessons

Reagan: "Mom, I want strawberry juice, but there isn't any."
Mom: "Have water."
Quinn: "Mom, you need to turn this into a life lesson.  Reagan, you can't always get what you want.  Life isn't fair.  Deal with it. "
Mom: "Thanks for that, Quinn."

Firstborn

Picked the kids up from faith formation class this evening.  I asked them what they were learning about.

Reagan: "We learned about the girl who at the apple, but she wasn't supposed to."
Mom: "Oh, Eve."
Colby: "We learned about Isaac and his sons Esau and Jacob."
Mom: "What did you learn about them?"
Colby: "Well, I learned that I am NOT giving up my birthright as firstborn son like Esau did.  You and Dad die, and I'm in CHARGE.  And I get all your stuff."

OK then.  That 2 minutes was very fortuitous, wasn't it?

Stranger in my Bed

5 am and the dog barks as the doorknob to my bedroom turns.  In walks a dark figure of a boy. 
"What are you doing up so early, little man?" I ask.  A voice groggy with sleep answers me.  "I can't sleep".
"Well, climb in bed with me."  He is wrapped in a blanket and he cuddles up next to me.  Is it Quinn?  Is it Colby?  I can't see his face, his voice gave me no clues, so I lie there and listen to his breathing, and how he twitches next to me in his sleep.  Ahhhh, then.  It's Colby. 

It's interesting to me, that I can tell them apart even in the darkest night by how they BREATHE and SLEEP.  A mother knows her child.

Chores

Big Drama on this Saturday, trying to "encourage" the children to clean their bedrooms.  Reagan was in tears, screaming "BUT IT'S NOT FUN!!  IT'S SO BORING!!"  The boys, thankfully, are more subtle with their resistance at this age.

Quinn: "Tell me WHY I need to clean my room.  What do I get if I do it."
Mom: "You get a roof over your head."
Colby: "Quinn, we can totally sleep outside in the treehouse."
Quinn: "Yeah, we could."
Mom: "You also get food in your belly."
Quinn: "You're too good of a parent to let your child starve."


I'm too good of a parent to let you get away with reasoning like that.  I'm so good of a parent, in fact, that I am going to teach you responsibilities.  Like cleaning your room.  GET. UPSTAIRS.

I'm not Ready for This Conversation.... Let's Change the Subject

Not 5 minutes after coming home from school, all three chillins sitting in front of the fire warming themselves, patting little dog Fergie.

Quinn: "Mom, Colby says that Fergie can't have puppies without a mate.  That's not true."
Reagan: "I want puppies!"
Colby: "Right!  She has to have a mate to have puppies, right Mom?"
Quinn: "Nu-unh!  She can have puppies without a mate."
Mom: "No, she has to have a mate to have puppies."
Quinn, Colby and Reagan: "WHY??!?!?!?"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Mom: "All animals have to have mates to have babies.  Babies need Daddies."
Colby: "No, not ALL animals."
Mom: "Yes.  All animals.  Maybe not worms.  I think worms don't need a mate.  But almost all other animals do."

And again, in chorus, they asked..."WHY?!?!??!?!?!?!"

Mom: "It's just the way God made animals."  I knew the question that was on the tip of their tongues, and I didn't want to deal with it.  There would be a "HOW" question within seconds, if I didn't divert the conversation quickly.

Mom: "That Fergie is so cute.  Look at her wagging her little tail."

That did it.  They all admired her cute little tail, and hugged her, and patted her, and reveled in her doggie cute-dom.  WHEW.  Close one.

They might not be so easy to distract next time.  Even at dinner, they were patting my belly and wondering if there were any more babies that would come out of there.  You know, because I DO hav a mate. 

NO.  No there's not.

Privacy

I forget that the boys are growing older.  Their 9 years of public nudity have lulled me into believing that they have no self-consciousness whatsoever.  This morning, I walked into my bathroom to get some mousse for my hair, and Quinn was on the toilet. 

Quinn: "HEY!  What are you doing in here???"
Mom: "Sorry.  I just need to get my mousse."  Here I proceed to mousse my hair - a process that takes less than 30 seconds.  No big whoop.
Quinn: "UH, you know, you could have taken the bottle out THERE and done that.  I need privacy."

OH.  OK.  Privacy.  Hmmmm.  Sorry.  I keep forgetting that that's appropriate now.

Not THAT old...

In a rush, trying to pick the boys up from school and get them to basketball camp on time.  No time to change anywhere but the car on the way.  The boys were NOT thrilled with that plan.

Mom: "Really, boys?  It's not a big deal.  Change your clothes here in the car while I'm driving.  It's not rocket science.  I used to do it all the time when I was growing up."

Colby: "Mom, that might've been true in the 1980's, but we have MODERN cars now, and there's no room for that.  Back when you were driving around in Model A's, that was fine."

Wha....WAIT!  Model A's???? Give me a break.

Bad Attitude

On the way to the school's Open House tonight....
Quinn:  "Well, Mom, you're about to see our place of torture."
Mom: "Quinn, you have a bad attitude.  School is not torture, and I don't like to hear you talking about education like that."
Quinn: "Mom, please.  'Torture' is how you say 'school' in Latin."

Such a smart boy.

The New Cousin

Quinn said "I finally have my own minion."

Privacy In The Car

Long drive back from downstate.  Quinn staked his territory by making paper signs and posting them about the car....

 

Translation of the fine print on the botto there... "P.S. if it is breakfast, lunch or dinner, or arrived at are (sic) destination, wake me up or talk to me.  ONLY."

Soccer

Legal Loop Hole

Quinn is our local budding lawyer.  Just what every family needs.  He is constantly finding legalistic little loopholes to wiggle his way out of things.  Today in the car, I announced the commencement of school in 10 days.  This was his response.

Quinn: "I don't have to start school this year."
Mom: "Yes you do."
Quinn: "No, I'm not going to.  You always tell us 'Ahos finish what they start'.  Well, if I don't START school, then I won't have to finish it!"

Uhhhhhhhh.... Hmmm.  What to say about that?  Luckily, Colby chimed in.

Colby: "Yeah, but Quinn.... if you don't go to school, you won't get into college.  And don't you remember the FOOD at Michigan Tech?????  You're gonna wanna go to college."

Quinn: "Oh.  Yeah.  Right."

Thank goodness his brother can reason with him on the same wavelength.  My arguments about the value of a good education would've fallen on deaf ears. 

Food Pyramid

Every night after dinner,  I get the same question.  What's for dessert?  I don't know when  dessert became a "given" in our house instead of a "treat".  It SHOULD be a rare treat.  This expectation that it's just as scheduled as breakfast is starting to bug me.

Mom: "Boys, you KNOW that desserts aren't good for you.  You do not need a sweets every single day."
Quinn: "Mom, sweets are the most important part of the diet.  That's why they're on the TOP of the food pyramid!!"

Yeah, whose bright idea was THAT to redo the food pyramid with sweets at the place of honor???

Forehead Slap

Showing the boys pictures from the Triathlon two friends and I did yesterday.

Me: "See!  We were called Team Coppermom!  I swam, Mrs. Sommerville rode her bike, and Mrs. Wanhala ran!"
Colby: "You know why mom's called copper don't you, Quinn?"
Quinn: "No, why?"
Colby: "Because copper is really HEAVY."

UHHHHH.  Thanks.  A lot.

End of an Era

My boys, every single day for the past 8 years, have eaten oatmeal for breakfast.  And now they won't.  All of a sudden.  I still have 4 boxes in the cupboard, because normally they go through several boxes a week.  But not anymore.  Because they've decided that they HATE oatmeal, as has their sister.  Which makes breakfast every morning a choice instead of an automatic, which takes a lot more time.  The indecision is killing me!!  "What do you want for breakfast?"  "I don't know.  What do we have?" "We have oatmeal." "I don't want oatmeal!" "Then what do you want?" "I don't know. What else do we have?"......  UGH.  They would love it if I would cook them blueberry pancakes every morning, but quite frankly, I don't have the time or energy for that. 

I miss oatmeal mornings.

Overheard

The boys, arguing about the monetary value of Quinn's baby blanket at auction....

Colby: "Quinn, it's not OLD.  Old stuff is what makes it valuable."
Quinn: "But it's handmade!  Things that are handmade are worth a lot!"
Colby: "It's not worth one cent.  It's all torn and ripped and stuff."
Quinn: "It is too!  It's worth ALOT!  It would totally go for hundreds at auction!"

Mom: "Well, sometimes things of value are worth a lot to one person, but not to others, because it has MEANING to that person.  Not everything has a dollar value.  That blanket means a lot to you, Quinn, but probably wouldn't mean anything to anyone else."

Quinn: "Mom, you spent months making it by hand.  It's worth a ton."

SMILE.  I am really glad that he is attached to that old ratty, ugly thing that's falling apart.  It IS worth a ton, even if it's not worth one red cent.  And for the record... those boys may watch too much "Antiques Road Show".

For The Record

At 9 years of age and 15 days, my son Quinn weighs 66 pounds.  I know this from a visit to the Walk In Clinic in Billings, MT for Impetigo.  You're welcome.

The Musician

Colby has found the love of his life... the flute.  He's decided it's his calling.  He loves the flute in Japanese-inspired songs, and has come up with our family band, consisting of Mom on the piano, Colby on the flute, Quinn on the trumpet, and Reagan on the harp.  We'd make quite the quartet, wouldn't we??  Next year in 4th grade, he gets to join the school band, and Colby CAN'T WAIT.  He's been trying to decide on his "instrument" for a full year now....

Quinn picked the trumpet after about 30 nanoseconds of thought, because "it's totally easy to play, since it only has 3 buttons".  Hmmmmm.

Marriage

Continued dinner table convo -

Colby: "You know Mom and Dad, sometimes people don't get married just because they like the other person's looks."

Mom & Dad: "Oh yeah?"

Colby: "Sometimes, people get married because they're actually friends!!"

You didn't learn that on t.v. son. 

Colby: "I mean, even two ugly people can get married to each other because they're friends!"

Well, whatta ya know.

Being Called

Topic of conversation at dinner tonight, since we witnessed one yesterday - ordinations. 

Dad: "So boys, do you understand what an ordination is?"
Quinn: "Yeah, it's when someone becomes a pastor or a priest."
Colby: "Yeah."
Dad:  "Is that a career path you guys might consider?"
Quinn (snorting): "Uhhhhh.... God does not appear to be calling me in that direction."

You never know, son.  Never know. 

Oh, How He Will Freak Out About This Someday.....

Colby was running around outside after church, and fell on the concrete, skinning his elbow and his knee.  The wounds were pretty significant - enough to rip (yet another) pair of church pants, and cause profuse bleeding from his elbow.

Colby (in tears):  "Mom, I'm bleeding!  I can't make it stop!"
Mom: "Well, I don't have any bandages here.  You'll have to wait until we get home."
Colby: "But it's soaking through the paper towel!  It won't stop bleeding!"

OK, then.  In the interest of not getting my car seats soaked in blood, we'll do something.  I wordlessly handed him a Kotex from my secret stash.

Colby: "What do I do with THIS?"
Mom: "Open it up, and put the padding against your elbow."

(seconds pass)
Colby: "Mom, I don't get this.  This is the weirdest Band-Aid I've ever seen.  The sticky part is on the OUTSIDE!"

Mom: "Just wrap something around it to hold it on there.  It'll work."

He wore the kotex on his arm for a good 45 minutes, until the bleeding finally stopped.

Mom to the rescue.

REALLY?!?!

I wasn't here for this conversation, but believe me... I heard ALL about it when I got home from work.  Apparently, at dinner, Dad was reminiscing about his youth.... how he would stay outdoors all day long, riding his bike around wherever he chose, without parental supervision.  He was fondly recalling his escapades with a  bb gun, and the fact that he never wore a seatbelt in the car.  Oh... and his motorized dirt bike.  Don't forget THAT.

Colby: "Mom would NEVER let us do any of that stuff!"
Quinn: "Geez, dad.  Why'd you have to marry such an overprotective woman???"

Thanks for this, hubby.  I brought to his attention that OUR children have had no less than THIRTY visits to the emergency room for various injuries stemming from their "adventures" - and those were WITH supervision.  Given what they do with sticks - could you imagine what they'd do with actual BB GUNS????  He concurred, but thought Quinn's comment was just HILARIOUS. 

I am being slandered on a daily basis as an angry, overprotective mother.  I don't get no respect around here.

Good Grief

Quinn: "It must be so great bossing kids around."
Rob: "I wouldn't know."
Mom: "No.  It's not."
Quinn: "Well, I just yelled at Colby.  I felt so alive!"

I don't even WANT to know....

The scenario - my son Colby, buck naked after getting out of the shower, on a stool rummaging through the cupboards for food right before bedtime.

Mom: "COLBY!  Don't you be sneaking food!
Colby: (Caught red handed... visibly cogitating his next move) "Uhhhhhhh"
Mom: "See, the nice thing about you being naked is that you can't pretend to put the food back, but secretly shove it somewhere".

Colby: "Oh, Mom.  I could shove it somewhere if I wanted!"

Don't go there.

School Attitudes

The boys have not had the best attitude towards school this year.  It actually pretty much stinks.  They moan and complain and bellyache nearly every single day.  It's work.  I get it.  But learning is fun!  No matter how much I lecture them on remind them of the blessings of a good education - it is never perceived as anything other than what it really is.  A lecture.

Today, Quinn and Colby were again complaining about the 3rd grade, and I asked them about next year - who the teacher was, what they've heard.  That got me reminiscing about my own 4th grade.  Like it takes alot to get me reminiscing these days.....

Mom: "I LOVED the 4th grade.  We learned such cool things.  We did musicals, and wrote and performed our own puppet shows, and learned grammer through writing a monthly newspaper.  When someone in class had an argument with someone else, we would have mock trials during recess, where the teacher was the judge, and we had to present our cases in front of a jury of our peers.    I learned etymology and some beginning Latin, that I still use to this day.  It was so fun in the 4th grade."

Quinn: "UHHHHH, Mom.  This is the 21st Century.  Times have changed."

That made me laugh. Like I went to school a bazillion years ago.  But I think he's also right.  I had  very hands-on learning experiences, with extremely gifted and creative teachers that I kept in touch with for years after.  I don't think there's TIME or RESOURCES for teachers to teach that way necessarily anymore. Certainly not on a daily basis.   My boys bring home a LOT of dittos every day, and I realize that thier learning is alot of paperwork.  Which they generally hate.  Makes me sad, because I remember how much joy of learning there was in the 4th grade, and I'm not so sure all our efforts to make education better have actually WORKED.  Or maybe it's that kids are more used to being entertained in this day and age, and the "sit down and get it done" approach grates on them.  Probably some of both, I imagine.

((sigh)).  Inspiring the children's imagination, creativity, and love of learning seems to be a job I'm failing as a mother at the moment.  We'll have to work on that, sooner rather than later. 

Alliances

So, sometimes I make up little games for the kids to play in the car, to make sure the chaos stays under reasonable control.  Today, it was  the "who can tell me which way to turn to get home" game.  A point for each child that could correctly tell me how to direct our vehicle home.  Colby was winning.  About half way through the game, he asks the following:

Colby: "So, what do I get if I win?"
Mom: "The satisfaction of a job well done."
Colby: "Uh, no."
Mom: "How about 5 extra minutes on the Wii."
Colby: "OK."
Quinn: "You know, Colby, it doesn't really matter if you or I win, because we always share games anyways."
Colby: "That's true.  I guess we just have to keep Reagan from winning."
Mom: "No - you guys are separate, you aren't a team.  That's not fair to Reagan."
Quinn: "Well, if I win, I'm splitting my winnings with Colby."
Colby: "And if I win, I'm splitting my time with Quinn."

Reagan: "WAAAHHHH."

Annnnnndddd.... there's the chaos we were trying to avoid. 

Teamwork's great and all, but you really are TWO PEOPLE, boys.

Bubbles

The scene:  two 8 year old boys, wrestling on the couch, their father standing over them.

Quinn: "Dad, Colby's touching me again."
Dad: "Yeah, what's new?"
Quinn: "I haven't had any personal space in like FIVE HOURS."

No, son.  You have not had any personal space in 9 years and 4 months, if you count womb-time.  Get used to it.

The Aquarium

Quinn: "MOM!  It would be so cool to be a fish in an aquarium!"
Mom: "Really?  Because I think it would be incredibly boring."
Quinn: "No.  How cool.  Once a day, the lid opens up, and FOOD STORM!!!!"

Some days I wish I could feed the children like we feed the fish - open a can, sprinkle the food on top of them, and leave.

Empathy

Quinn: "Mom, when I grow up, I'm going to have a Mastercard."
Mom: "You are?  Why?"
Quinn: "Too many people use Visa, and that's not fair to Mastercard."

I've always wanted him to be empathetic and have a sense of justice and fairness, but... this might be taking things a bit too far.

Age

Quinn: "Mooooooooom!!!  Tell Colby to stop it!"
Mom: "Why?  What's he doing?"
Quinn: "He keeps telling everyone he's five minutes older than me."
Mom: "He IS five minutes older than you."
Quinn: "Yeah, but he keeps calling me 'Little Brother'!"

Colby: "Oh, come on, Little Bro.  Quit complaining."

It was genuinely bothering Quinn, which of course made Colby call him "Little Bro" for the rest of the trip.

Breakfast

Colby asked me what I was making for breakfast, and I told him Dutch Baby. 

Colby: "OK, Mom.  I'll tie up Reagan and put her in the overn, and you...."
Mom: "She's not Dutch.  And she's not a baby."
Colby: "DANG".

Compliment of the Day

Colby: "Hey Reagan!  I named a dragon after you on my video game!"

Gee thanks.  Reagan was flattered, and I didn't have the heart to burst her little bubble.

Feeling Papa-less

On the way to Cubscouts tonight, listening to the news...

Quinn: "Is the devil going to attack the church because there's no Pope right now?"

Mom: "Well, I have to admit, the media is sure attacking at every turn.  I think they see it as an opportunity to be mean and viscious, because the Pope resigned instead of dying.  If he died, they'd have to pretend to be respectful."

Quinn: "Well, who's protecting the church right now, if there's no Pope?"

Mom: "God will protect the church, Quinn.  It's okay.  But prayers probably wouldn't hurt."

Colby: "Mom, who are you going to vote for?"

Mom: "I don't vote, Colbs.  Only the cardinals do."

Colby: "But if you DID, who would you root for?"

Mom: "Good question.  I really don't know.  I've read up on some of the cardinals, but I'm just trusting they pick someone really, really good.  Because the world really needs someone really, really good right about now."

Quinn's Autobiography

 Translation for those that can't read his writing:

First Name: Quinn
3 Words That Describe You: Awesome, Gamer, Sneaky
Lover of: video games, candy, and my family
Who is able to : read books, video games, shoot bow and arrow
Who feels: rich when you get lots
Who wonders: if there is ghosts
Who fears: nothing
Who would like to: be a meancle enegire (mechanical engineer)
Who dreams: to be rich

Sometimes I think that the values I'm trying to instill in my children aren't "taking".  Who dreams to be rich??  Describes himself as sneaky???  Good grief.  What am I raising???

Overheard

Quinn and Colby were talking... again.... about how handsome they are.  This is a topic that comes up entirely too much, in my opinion.

Mom: "Boys, what gives you the idea that you're so good looking?"
Colby: "Think about it, Mom.  It will come to you."
Quinn: "Everyone thinks so."
Colby: "Everyone except our PARENTS."

(OK.  I think my boys are adorable, but I am not about to tell them that.  I am far more worried about their swelled heads and vanity than I am about their self-esteem.)

Mom: "Who said you were so handsome?"
Colby: "Reagan thinks we're handsome and a genius!"
Mom: "You realize she thinks 'genius' is a bad word?  She's insulting you.  She doesn't know what 'genius' means."
Quinn: "Well, CJ at school thinks we're handsome."
Colby: "Yeah! And so does Hayden!"
Mom: "So, two other 8 year old boys think you're cute?"  Oh my.  What do I do with THAT???  "Do they have crushes on you?"
Q&C: "EWWWW!  GROSS!  NO! THEY'RE BOYS!"
Mom: "Do girls think you're cute?"
Q&C: "Gag, AHHH, BLECH, ewwwwww, cough cough cough.... vomit".

Still don't know where this ego-mania is coming from exactly, but it's quite a bit out of hand.  Humility is not part of the package, apparently.

But, still.... OK.  Yes.  They're handsome.  Just don't tell 'em I said so....

A Journal Entry

For Cub Scouts, the boys have to keep a diary for two weeks. It's been enlightening to me to read these little interpretations of their day. Colby will write something, and when I say "but that didn't happen AT ALL," he'll just reply "but it's what I WANTED to happen!" OK. Whatever. Create your own reality. Here's Quinn's entry for today. Made me laugh.

 

 

I'll translate in case it's hard to read: 

"Today I woke up went to scool after scool I went home. I told hi to mom, went downstairs to play the wii with Colby then a few moments later Mom said GET OFF THAT Wii!  Why me and Colby said.  You didn't say hi to me (she's very crabby when you don't say hi to her). But Mom, I did!  Colby says nothing. Oh.  We have piano lessons so Colby snuck a cooky. the mom said "you can have a banana." I told mom that colby took a cookie and not today.  Mom comes in and AHHHHH!  Colby said.  Then we went to piano.

THE END.

 

New Favorite Phrase

Current constant quip in reply to just about anything their mother asks either boy:

"Mom, think about it.  It'll come to you".

Dang smart aleck kids.