Colby: "Mom, you need to pull up your pants. Underwear is private."
OK then. That's fair. I say it to him 16,000 times a day.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sentimentality... lack thereof
For their very first Christmas, I wrote each boy a special book. Quinn's is about him as a Prince, and his valiant fight against a dragon. Colby's stars himself as a superhero. Wrote the story, drew the pictures, and then hand-bound each in leather. Love in every fiber of these books, start to finish. Tonight at bed time, I found them both on the floor of the boys' room.
Mom: "Boys, what are your books doing on the ground? They're your special books! You have to take care of them!"
Quinn: "Mom, they're not special, they're OLD. We've had them since we were babies!"
Mom: "But I made them for you. They're very special. I don't want them to get ruined."
Quinn: "Well, what would happen if they got ruined?"
Mom: "I'd probably cry."
Quinn: "You'd cry, and..... what would happen to us?"
Mom: "I'd just cry."
Quinn: "That's it?"
Why do I get the impression he's weighing whether destroying an old book is worth it or not? Heck, if there's not a spanking involved, then might as well stomp on Mom's heart... I mean his special book. These boys are OBVIOUSLY not as sentimental as their mother.
Mom: "Boys, what are your books doing on the ground? They're your special books! You have to take care of them!"
Quinn: "Mom, they're not special, they're OLD. We've had them since we were babies!"
Mom: "But I made them for you. They're very special. I don't want them to get ruined."
Quinn: "Well, what would happen if they got ruined?"
Mom: "I'd probably cry."
Quinn: "You'd cry, and..... what would happen to us?"
Mom: "I'd just cry."
Quinn: "That's it?"
Why do I get the impression he's weighing whether destroying an old book is worth it or not? Heck, if there's not a spanking involved, then might as well stomp on Mom's heart... I mean his special book. These boys are OBVIOUSLY not as sentimental as their mother.
Where Food Comes From
Against my better judgement, I let the boys watch a PBS special on slaughterhouses in America. Serious breech of sanity. Both boys were FULL of questions. "But WHY are they killing all the chickens?" "To make your chicken nuggets." Brutal honesty really isn't in my best interest, given the frequency with which we have chicken nuggets for dinner. Quinn insisted that he wanted his own chicken to keep as a pet, one that wouldn't be killed or taken to a factory. At dinner tonight (chicken nuggets, of course) they both said "but Mom, they don't LOOK like those chickens. Where do they put the chicken lips?" And Quinn wanted to know how a cow went from being cow-shaped to being shaped like a circle when in a hamburger. Trust me, you just don't want to know. Don't think about it, and eat eat eat, boys. Doesn't it taste good???
Tornados
I have the filthiest children on the planet. Honestly. Whirling dervishes of dirt, leaving trails of grime, noise, and chaos wherever they go. I love them desperately, and miss them the second (ok, not THE second... but some short time afterwards) I'm away from them. And then, when we're back to being in the same room, I feel my nerves start to twang, my voice involuntarily rise, and I suddenly morph into Drill Sargeant Mom, who counts to three a whole lot. "I said SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR DINNER. QUIETLY! YOU'RE SISTER IS TRYING TO SLEEP! ONE. TWO. THREE....." Oh boy.
Yesterday, I spent, literally, THREE HOURS cleaning the kitchen. Scrubbing down stools and cupboards full of dripped-on gunk and smeared handprints. I washed the floor on my hands and knees, did a sink and a half full of dishes, and polished every last appliance til it shown. Not 24 hours later, the kitchen is a PIT yet again. How did ketchup get on the ceiling? I have had the boys wash their hands (a struggle in and of itself) five times today, because they were fully BLACK with unimaginable things. I had a piece of paper that I was writing on, Colby lightly touched it, and I had to throw it away because of the filth. I am not an anal person. I am in no sense of the word a neat-nick, nor a germ-freak. But COME ON. They touch EVERY DISGUSTING THING with those hands. And a person would have absolutely no idea of their natural skin color if looking only at hands and face. Filthy filthy filthy filthy gross gross gross. Nightly showers only help keep them clean during sleeping hours. The second they arise, they are back at it.
THIS is why I have a blog. To vent. I have been told that some day I will yearn for smudgy little handprints on my windows. I'm having a really hard time believing that at the moment.
Yesterday, I spent, literally, THREE HOURS cleaning the kitchen. Scrubbing down stools and cupboards full of dripped-on gunk and smeared handprints. I washed the floor on my hands and knees, did a sink and a half full of dishes, and polished every last appliance til it shown. Not 24 hours later, the kitchen is a PIT yet again. How did ketchup get on the ceiling? I have had the boys wash their hands (a struggle in and of itself) five times today, because they were fully BLACK with unimaginable things. I had a piece of paper that I was writing on, Colby lightly touched it, and I had to throw it away because of the filth. I am not an anal person. I am in no sense of the word a neat-nick, nor a germ-freak. But COME ON. They touch EVERY DISGUSTING THING with those hands. And a person would have absolutely no idea of their natural skin color if looking only at hands and face. Filthy filthy filthy filthy gross gross gross. Nightly showers only help keep them clean during sleeping hours. The second they arise, they are back at it.
THIS is why I have a blog. To vent. I have been told that some day I will yearn for smudgy little handprints on my windows. I'm having a really hard time believing that at the moment.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Quinn Town
We had grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. This invariably brings up the fact that Colby has a cheese ostensibly named after him, which happens to be made in a Wisconsin town of the same name. We've seen it. It's there.
Quinn: "There's a town named Quinn, too."
Colby: "No there's not. You're lying."
Mom: "Let's google that after dinner."
Quinn: "They make Colby cheese in Colby town. What do they make in Quinn town?"
Mom: "I don't know. We'll look that up, too."
Quinn: "I think they make Queens. And Quilts. And other 'Q' stuff there."
Mom: "Maybe you're right!"
Quinn: "I bet it's near Juneau."
Mom: "Alaska?"
Quinn: "Yes. I'd like to live there."
Colby: "Not me. They're poor in Alaska."
Mom: "Who told you that?"
Colby: "You did, Mom." I have no recollection of that whatsoever. I imagine I DID discourage any thoughts of moving to Alaska. That's something Dad has always wanted, which I have always nixed. We're cold enough here, thank you very much.
I haven't had any luck finding Quinn Town. Colby asked me to check China. Nope. Quinn suggested the South Pole. Maybe the North Pole. Nah. JACKPOT! There it is. Quinn, South Dakota... Population 45. That's 18 males, 27 females. Divorce rate 0% (that's encouraging!), although one of those 45 people is apparently a registered sex offender. Hmmmm. Other known facts about Quinn, SD:
#16 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that keep firearms around their homes"
#32 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that smoked 100+ cigarettes in their lives" and...
#41 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that had a sunburn in the past 12 months"
All good to know. Not sure how much Queen or Quilt making they do there, though.
Quinn: "There's a town named Quinn, too."
Colby: "No there's not. You're lying."
Mom: "Let's google that after dinner."
Quinn: "They make Colby cheese in Colby town. What do they make in Quinn town?"
Mom: "I don't know. We'll look that up, too."
Quinn: "I think they make Queens. And Quilts. And other 'Q' stuff there."
Mom: "Maybe you're right!"
Quinn: "I bet it's near Juneau."
Mom: "Alaska?"
Quinn: "Yes. I'd like to live there."
Colby: "Not me. They're poor in Alaska."
Mom: "Who told you that?"
Colby: "You did, Mom." I have no recollection of that whatsoever. I imagine I DID discourage any thoughts of moving to Alaska. That's something Dad has always wanted, which I have always nixed. We're cold enough here, thank you very much.
I haven't had any luck finding Quinn Town. Colby asked me to check China. Nope. Quinn suggested the South Pole. Maybe the North Pole. Nah. JACKPOT! There it is. Quinn, South Dakota... Population 45. That's 18 males, 27 females. Divorce rate 0% (that's encouraging!), although one of those 45 people is apparently a registered sex offender. Hmmmm. Other known facts about Quinn, SD:
#16 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that keep firearms around their homes"
#32 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that smoked 100+ cigarettes in their lives" and...
#41 on the list of "Top 101 counties with the highest percentage of residents that had a sunburn in the past 12 months"
All good to know. Not sure how much Queen or Quilt making they do there, though.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Distinction
Colby: "Mom, some people call me Quinn because they can't tell I'm Colby."
Mom: "Yup."
Colby: "But my chin is longer than Quinn's."
Mom: "Who told you that?"
Colby: "I told myself! I looked in a mirror!"
Mom: "Ahhhh. I guess you're right."
Quinn: "Well, I'm darker."
Mom: "No, you guys have the same coloring."
Quinn: "No, my voice is darker and Colby's is lighter."
Mom: "Oh, you mean DEEPER?"
Quinn: "Yeah."
Mom: "Can you tell Dallace and Dallan apart in your class at school?"
Quinn and Colby: "No. They look exactly the same."
I find it interesting that they still can't consistently tell themselves apart in pictures unless they actually remember the picture taking experience. It seems so obvious to me.
Mom: "Yup."
Colby: "But my chin is longer than Quinn's."
Mom: "Who told you that?"
Colby: "I told myself! I looked in a mirror!"
Mom: "Ahhhh. I guess you're right."
Quinn: "Well, I'm darker."
Mom: "No, you guys have the same coloring."
Quinn: "No, my voice is darker and Colby's is lighter."
Mom: "Oh, you mean DEEPER?"
Quinn: "Yeah."
Mom: "Can you tell Dallace and Dallan apart in your class at school?"
Quinn and Colby: "No. They look exactly the same."
I find it interesting that they still can't consistently tell themselves apart in pictures unless they actually remember the picture taking experience. It seems so obvious to me.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Dinner Conversation
Tortellini tonight for dinner. Neither boy was thrilled with that.
Mom: "It's just noodles, cheese, chicken, musrhooms, and tomatos. You'll like it."
Quinn: "Are these the plain mushrooms I like?"
Mom: "Yes." Quinn took a bite.
Quinn: "NO THEY'RE NOT! They're all warm and sweaty!"
Minutes later.....
Quinn: "Mom, I'll have carrots for dessert. I LOVE carrots dipped in ranch. Carrots are a 'go food' (preschool talk for health food)."
Mom: "Yeah, but ranch dressing is a slow food. It has fat."
Quinn: "Funny. I don't taste the slow part. I don't taste the fat. I know. When you eat them together, the 'go' part takes over the 'slow' part."
I wish it worked like taht.
Mom: "It's just noodles, cheese, chicken, musrhooms, and tomatos. You'll like it."
Quinn: "Are these the plain mushrooms I like?"
Mom: "Yes." Quinn took a bite.
Quinn: "NO THEY'RE NOT! They're all warm and sweaty!"
Minutes later.....
Quinn: "Mom, I'll have carrots for dessert. I LOVE carrots dipped in ranch. Carrots are a 'go food' (preschool talk for health food)."
Mom: "Yeah, but ranch dressing is a slow food. It has fat."
Quinn: "Funny. I don't taste the slow part. I don't taste the fat. I know. When you eat them together, the 'go' part takes over the 'slow' part."
I wish it worked like taht.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Financial Sense
Quinn: "Mom! Look what I found!"
Mom: "Oh, that's my silver dollar."
Quinn: "How do you know it's yours? I found it."
Mom: "I've had that silver dollar since I was a little girl. It's mine."
Quinn: "Well, if you've had it that long without spending it, you obviously don't need it."
Dang logic.
Financial Sense Part 2:
Colby: "Mom, can I do a chore to earn some money?"
Mom: "OK. You can clean the basement."
Quinn: "Mom, how much cents can I get if I clean half the basement?"
Mom: "Zero".
Quinn: "No. Like a penny? 25 cents? How much for each toy?"
Mom: "You clean it all for a dollar. If you don't clean it all, you get zero."
Quinn: "So, if I clean it all except one toy, I get nothing?"
Mom: "Exactamundo."
Quinn: "Essassimundo?"
Mom: "Just... Right. If you don't clean it all, you don't get any money."
Quinn: "Oh. OK."
Financial Sense Part 3:
I picked the boys up from school today, and was greeted by their teacher.
Mrs. VK: "Thank you so much for allowing Quinn to bring in that silver dollar today! We made a copy of it, and all the kids got to look at it, since we're studying money!"
Mom: "Oh." (Glare at child, who EXPRESSLY disobeyed when I told him not to bring the silver dollar to school. And now he's getting teacher kudos for it!)
Mom: "Oh, that's my silver dollar."
Quinn: "How do you know it's yours? I found it."
Mom: "I've had that silver dollar since I was a little girl. It's mine."
Quinn: "Well, if you've had it that long without spending it, you obviously don't need it."
Dang logic.
Financial Sense Part 2:
Colby: "Mom, can I do a chore to earn some money?"
Mom: "OK. You can clean the basement."
Quinn: "Mom, how much cents can I get if I clean half the basement?"
Mom: "Zero".
Quinn: "No. Like a penny? 25 cents? How much for each toy?"
Mom: "You clean it all for a dollar. If you don't clean it all, you get zero."
Quinn: "So, if I clean it all except one toy, I get nothing?"
Mom: "Exactamundo."
Quinn: "Essassimundo?"
Mom: "Just... Right. If you don't clean it all, you don't get any money."
Quinn: "Oh. OK."
Financial Sense Part 3:
I picked the boys up from school today, and was greeted by their teacher.
Mrs. VK: "Thank you so much for allowing Quinn to bring in that silver dollar today! We made a copy of it, and all the kids got to look at it, since we're studying money!"
Mom: "Oh." (Glare at child, who EXPRESSLY disobeyed when I told him not to bring the silver dollar to school. And now he's getting teacher kudos for it!)
Phone Numbers
Quinn reportedly got the phone number of a friend at school yesterday. Rob asked if he had a girlfriend now, which Quinn adamantly denied. I guess Quinn was so excited that he slept with the piece of paper it was written on. This morning, he woke up and immediately brought me the phone and his treasured paper.
Quinn: "Mom, I have TJ's phone number. Let's call it."
Mom: "What is it?"
Quinn: "10 9 3 4 8 10 9 2"
Mom: "That's not a phone number, Quinn."
Quinn: "Yes it is. TJ's phone number"
Mom: "TJ's phone number would start with the numbers 523."
Quinn: "OK. His number is 523 10 9 3 4 8 10 9 2"
He showed me his paper. Those WERE the numbers written on it. Except the 9's looked like P's. Which still doesn't help us in getting ahold of TJ.
Quinn: "Mom, I have TJ's phone number. Let's call it."
Mom: "What is it?"
Quinn: "10 9 3 4 8 10 9 2"
Mom: "That's not a phone number, Quinn."
Quinn: "Yes it is. TJ's phone number"
Mom: "TJ's phone number would start with the numbers 523."
Quinn: "OK. His number is 523 10 9 3 4 8 10 9 2"
He showed me his paper. Those WERE the numbers written on it. Except the 9's looked like P's. Which still doesn't help us in getting ahold of TJ.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The Future Daughter In Law
Colby: "Mom, we have three Daddy's and two Mommy's in this house."
Mom: "Oh, you mean when you grow up?"
Colby: "Yeah. We will grow up to be Daddy's, and Reagan will grow up to be a Mommy."
Mom: "MmmHmm."
Quinn: "So we'll marry a girl?"
Mom: "Yup. I'll pick out a nice one for you."
Quinn: "I thought I got to pick her out!"
Mom: "Nope. That's my job. I get to pick one out, and then you'll live right next door to me."
Colby: "But I want to live in Africa!"
Quinn: "I want to live in Australia!"
Mom: "Too far away. You'll live next door to me."
Quinn and Colby: "OK."
Rob: "You're gonna write that one down in the blog for the record, aren't you?"
Mom: "You bet."
Mom: "Oh, you mean when you grow up?"
Colby: "Yeah. We will grow up to be Daddy's, and Reagan will grow up to be a Mommy."
Mom: "MmmHmm."
Quinn: "So we'll marry a girl?"
Mom: "Yup. I'll pick out a nice one for you."
Quinn: "I thought I got to pick her out!"
Mom: "Nope. That's my job. I get to pick one out, and then you'll live right next door to me."
Colby: "But I want to live in Africa!"
Quinn: "I want to live in Australia!"
Mom: "Too far away. You'll live next door to me."
Quinn and Colby: "OK."
Rob: "You're gonna write that one down in the blog for the record, aren't you?"
Mom: "You bet."
Sisters
Quinn (pushing his sister in a pedal car): "Wow, Mom. Reagan's not bugging me! I'm actually playing with Reagan for the first time!"
Mom: "Well, it's about time. Colby plays with her all the time."
Quinn: "Well, she's not crying. She's having fun! She's not bugging me!"
Mom: "See, it can be fun to play with her."
Quinn: "That's why she was crying all the time. Because I wasn't playing with her."
Mom: "Maybe."
Quinn: "Mom, can I have a dollar for playing with Reagan?"
Mom: "Nope."
Mom: "Well, it's about time. Colby plays with her all the time."
Quinn: "Well, she's not crying. She's having fun! She's not bugging me!"
Mom: "See, it can be fun to play with her."
Quinn: "That's why she was crying all the time. Because I wasn't playing with her."
Mom: "Maybe."
Quinn: "Mom, can I have a dollar for playing with Reagan?"
Mom: "Nope."
For the record, the above picture is actually of Colby. By the time I got my camera, Quinn had had enough of playing with Reagan, it was Colby's turn to push her around in the car. So much for that.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Health Food, Overheard
Colby: "I want a corn dog for lunch."
Quinn: "I don't LIKE corn dogs."
Colby: "How can you not like corn dogs? They're healthy for you!"
Quinn: "Colby. It's a HOT DOG. On a STICK. Without ketchup and mustard!!! It's NOT healthy."
Colby: "Sure it is. The bread makes it healthy."
The obvious, incredulous impatience in Quinn's voice just was classic.
Quinn: "I don't LIKE corn dogs."
Colby: "How can you not like corn dogs? They're healthy for you!"
Quinn: "Colby. It's a HOT DOG. On a STICK. Without ketchup and mustard!!! It's NOT healthy."
Colby: "Sure it is. The bread makes it healthy."
The obvious, incredulous impatience in Quinn's voice just was classic.
Toys
Mom: "Boys, put your Bakugan's away. No toys at the breakfast table."
Quinn: "A Bakugan's not a toy. I saw big kids playing with them, and big kids don't play with toys."
Mom: "Sure they do. "
Quinn: "No, when you're grown up and out of school, when you're a daddy, you don't have toys."
Mom: "Uhhhhh... the toys just get bigger and more expensive. Like an AIRPLANE."
Quinn: "Oh."
Quinn: "A Bakugan's not a toy. I saw big kids playing with them, and big kids don't play with toys."
Mom: "Sure they do. "
Quinn: "No, when you're grown up and out of school, when you're a daddy, you don't have toys."
Mom: "Uhhhhh... the toys just get bigger and more expensive. Like an AIRPLANE."
Quinn: "Oh."
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Questions I Can't Answer
Quinn: "Mom, if dolphins breathe air instead of water, why don't they drown when they sleep?"
I just Googled dolphin sleep, because I couldn't stand not knowing the answer. How DO they sleep? Listen to this...
Dolphins have to be conscious to breathe. This means that they cannot go into a full deep sleep, because then they would suffocate. Dolphins have "solved" that by letting one half of their brain sleep at a time. This has been determined by doing EEG studies on dolphins. Dolphins sleep about 8 hours day in this fashion.
No WAY!
I just Googled dolphin sleep, because I couldn't stand not knowing the answer. How DO they sleep? Listen to this...
Dolphins have to be conscious to breathe. This means that they cannot go into a full deep sleep, because then they would suffocate. Dolphins have "solved" that by letting one half of their brain sleep at a time. This has been determined by doing EEG studies on dolphins. Dolphins sleep about 8 hours day in this fashion.
No WAY!
Friday, April 2, 2010
A Diagnosis
Just got back from the Marshfield Clinic in Wisconsin, where we spent last night. The pediatric cardiologist there asked to see him right away ("you mean right now? Today? You know that's five hours away from here and we won't be there until after work hours?"). She stayed late for us, which was awfully nice of her. And then spent another two and a half hours checking him out. LUCKILY.... no endocarditis. WHEW. What a relief. Rob was still out of town, so I packed up all three kids, and caravaned with Al and LaVerne to Wisconsin for the evening. The cardiologist sent us to an infectious disease specialist this morning, who concluded that the reason the past SIX doctors couldn't find the source of this alleged infection is that there wasn't any to be found. His words... Quinn's body is fighting "evil spirits". It's thinking that there's an infection to fight when there's not. He diagnosed Still's disease, which is a form of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Quinn doesn't have joint pain or stiffness, though, so... I don't know. We're hoping this is an isolated event, and that our two week course of anti-inflammatories will be enough to knock the fevers out once and for all. It's at least reassuring that none of the big scary things that were lurking in the back of our minds (cancer, heart, or kidney infection in his lone kidney) turned out to be the source of the past two weeks worth of fevers. Last night's fever topped 102, but today he is fever free and currently riding his scooter with his brother, so.... things are looking up.
Exhausting few days. Now it's time to shift gears, realize that it's Holy Week, and start preparing for Easter!!!
Exhausting few days. Now it's time to shift gears, realize that it's Holy Week, and start preparing for Easter!!!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Prayers for Quinn
A trip to the emergency room last night for Quinn. The fever persists (day 12, off and on) and got up to 105 last night. Too scary for this mom. The emergency department was wonderful and thorough, which is JUST what I wanted them to be. Still don't have a firm diagnosis, awaiting a blood culture result and an echocardiogram, but all indicators at this time are pointing to infective endocarditis - a bacterial infection of the heart, most likely caused by his recent trip to the dentist. Quinn was SO BRAVE through the 3 hour visit. So many pokes and tests and shots. He held it together right until the end, when there were two shots given in his legs. Poor kid. We see the pediatrician today, who will get us in to the pediatric cardiologist as soon as possible (hopefully today or tomorrow), so we can get to the bottom of this thing, and get our little boy well. Can I just say that this spring break has SUCKED. Beautiful weather (over 70 degrees!!) outside, and Rob's out of town, I have been on call for work, and now have a sick kid in need of urgent care out of town. Poor Quinn. He's such a trooper. Prayers are appreciated.
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