General Absolution

This has been a hard few weeks for us. The summer has been cold, the boys were confined to the house for several days with impetigo, and now that the quarantine is lifted, all of the boys' friends are gone or busy. They are BORED, which means that destruction and fighting occurs much more frequently than mom would like. And my patience is growing very very thin. I was talking to them last night at bedtime about what it means to be a good boy, and how Mom doesn't LIKE yelling all the time, but that seems to be the only way they will listen to me! Colby looked at me solemnly, and said "I'm sorry Mom. I'm sorry for a long long time ago when I broke my toy, and I'm sorry for coloring on the wall, and I'm sorry for coloring the van. " Quinn piped in "I'm sorry, too". Just in general. For everything they could've possibly done. It helps to hear, and I'm glad they apologized. I just hope it means that it stops, because I can't take much more!!!

Oatmeal's Last Conversation

Colby, talking to his oatmeal as he's pouring the packet into his bowl: "Good morning, friends! I'm going to eat you! Bye bye lovies!"

Genders

Colby: "When Reagan grows up and gets hair, he'll turn into a GIRL!"

Snippets Again

Quinn (on the way to the doctors): "Are we going to the hospital?"
Mom: "No, it's just at the doctor's office."
Quinn: "GOOD! The hospital is the Shot Shop!!"

Maladies

Another childhood malady checked off the list.... Quinn has impetigo. Pleasant. Weeping sores EVERYWHERE (feet, legs, hands, hips, head). His ignorant mother has been watching this for the past few weeks, and thinking that they were bug bites that he had scratched. Except I FINALLY noticed yesterday that these "bug bites" weren't starting out as welts... they were starting out as weeping blisters, coming out of nowhere. He looks like he's been attacked by a flesh-eating microbe (which, technically I suppose, he has - it's a staph infection). Anyways, a 5 minute doctor's appointment was all it took to diagnose and get on antibiotics. NOW I have to explain why he can't finish up Vacation Bible School, and why he has to cover up the weeping sores for the time being. He's a walking one-man plague, this kid. So, as of last official count, one or both of the boys have experienced the following: impetigo, croup, bronchiolitis, ear infection, scarlet fever, and strep throat; as well as various stitches for wounds sustained from falling, crashing, and impaling themselves with sharp objects. Last night, Colby told me, when I was lamenting the state of their banged-up skin, "It's allright Mom. None of it HURTS!" That, my friend, is the problem. You all don't feel a thing, so you have no qualms about continuing to destroy your little selves!!! Will we survive????

ADDENDUM: Did I say one boy had Impetigo? I was wrong. Now both. Just to make it all the more fun around here. Not a big surprise, given that they eat, sleep, bathe, and breathe together.

Colby's Great Adventure

The boys are attending Vacation Bible School this week, and it must be sinking into their psyches. Quinn, when presenting me a cup to take a sip of his latest concoction (coke + diet sierra mist), solemnly said "THIS is the Body of Christ". Colby spent a good 15 minutes SOLID telling us about his visit to Heaven with Jesus, which he had while Quinn was on his canoe trip with Dad. It was precious, albeit one ginormous whopper of a fib. It just went on and on and on (did YOU know that Jesus has a special "Hot Wheel" room up in Heaven, and is especially partial to water slides?????) I finally grabbed the video camera to capture the last half of his tale, because it was so elaborate, it made Quinn whine several times "But I want to go to Heaven and be with Jesus, too!!!!!" Usually dinner conversations consist of topics like poopie baby diapers and burping, so this was actually an amusing change of pace.

The Baby Translator

Quinn: "Mom, why doesn't Reagan talk?"
Mom: "Because she doesn't know English yet."
Quinn: "Oh. But she KNOWS things."
Mom: "Like what?"
Quinn: "She knows when it's breakfast, lunch and dinner!"

Yup. Guess no one has to teach her that!! Oh wise belly.

Lessons from a Chinese Restaurant

Confuscious says "Heed my warning..... Even though it keeps little boys busy until the food comes, do NOT let them drink unlimited amounts of tea. You WILL pay for it afterwards, once the caffeine hits their brains. "

Last Night At Dinner

Quinn had gotten in trouble yesterday, as he tried to crawl up the stroller in the garage to get a juice box from a high shelf, and the entire shelf came tumbling down. After the punishment and tears, we had a discussion about how he needed to ASK for food, and not just help himself. He wanted to know WHY.

M: "Because the food is mommy's and daddy's. We bought it with our money. Do YOU have money to buy food?"
Q: "No. But I'm five now! I'm big! I can get my own food."
M: "No. You're bigger than you were at four, but you still have to ask for food."
Q: "When I grow up, I'm going to go to the bar store and get my own."
M: "Bar store?"
Q: "Yes. The bar."
M: "UHHHH... where'd you get that?"
Q: "From you!" I'm pretty sure I haven't been hanging out in bars lately.
M: "What are you talking about?"
Q: "When you're hungry, you go to the bar."
M: "Still don't know what you're talking about!"
Q: "You go to the cupboard and get a breakfast bar, and YOU don't ask anyone for it!"
M: "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH. My BREAKFAST bars!"
Q: "Yes. When I'm grown up, I'm going to get my own."
M: "OK"
C: "And when I'm grown up, I'm going to get my own juice!"
M: "Fine".

Overheard

Colby (looking at a box of our church's offering envelopes): "What are these?"
Quinn: "Jesus bills".

Snippets

Quinn (eating spaghetti squash for the first time): "MOM, this dinner is SCRUMPTIOUS!"
Mom: "Scrumptious?"
Colby: "It means yummy. And crunchy."
Mom: "Where'd you hear that word?"
Quinn: "On TV."

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Mom: "Boys, I told you NOT to run through the kitchen when I have a hot pan on the stove!!!"
Quinn: "GEEZ, Mom, don't grit your teeth like that!"
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Mom: "Enough silliness boys! If I have to tell you again to behave at the table, dinner will be over and you will go straight to bed!"
Quinn: "Mom, use your inside voice."

Now That We're Five... Part 2

On the way to church today:

Q: "Dad, now that I'm five, I'm going to do instruction like you."
R: "You mean CONstruction?"
M: "What would you build?"
C: "I'm going to build a HOT WHEEL church!!"

I bet there'd be a line of boys a mile long to get into THAT church ;)

Now That We're Five

Quinn and Colby are assuming great things, now that they're five. This is just a sampling of what I've heard today:

Q: "MOM! I need to eat with the big fork like you. I'm 5 now!"

C: (putting his hand on top of his head) "Now that I'm 5, I'm this tall!"

Q: "I'm going to sleep downstairs with you because I'm 5 now."
M: "No. Upstairs."
Q: "BUT I'M FIVE!!!"

C: "Is the bus coming today?"
M: "No. Why?"
C: "I'm 5 now!"

Q: (upon learning that we would be walking in the parade with his preschool teacher) "I don't know her anymore! I'm 5!"

Q: "Mom, I'm going to help you make dinner now. I'm 5."

I'm thinking that being five equates to being "grown up" in the little boys' heads. They are growing up. A little too fast.

Getting Away With Things

I catch my boys "in the act" frequently. I try to be diligent. I often find, however, that they've gotten away with alot more than I would've originally thought. The pop-tarts under the pillow thing, for example.... I caught them once, and thought it was an isolated incident. As I was changing their sheets this past weekend, I discovered that it wasn't. There was an ENTIRE BOX worth of wrappers behind Quinn's bed, as well as fruit snack wrappers, and Nutrigrain bar wrappers. And under the guest bed. And in the space between Colby's mattress and the wall. HOLY COW! How long had this been going on? No WONDER they've been going to bed so easily lately!!! The same thing happened at the end of school. I had caught them once putting HotWheel cars in their backpacs to take to school, and patted myself on the back for interceding in time. While we were on vacation in Spokane, their preschool teacher returned an entire diaper-box full of toy cars that had escaped my not-so-watchful eye. WHAT she must think of me, I have no idea. They take constant surveillance, these devious little boys!

The Sound Of Mom's Voice

I was singing tonight while cooking dinner. Quinn was not amused.

Quinn: "MOM! Stop that singing before you break all these glass bowels!"

Geez. Thanks.

Canoeing with Daddy

Colby and Dad went canoeing last Friday. This was the view from the back of the canoe. Pretty darn cute, I'd say.