Car Humor

We sold our minivan, and now drive around in a sedan. That means boys sit in the same row, and not one behind the other. This is apparently exciting beyond words for them, even though they are separated by their baby sister. Car rides have been loud, hands have NOT stayed with their owners, and chaos generally ensues. I'm not pleased. So, in an effort to distract them lately, I've turned on NPR and had them listen to "the funny radio". They find "Car Talk" and "Prairie Home Companion" hilarious. These are the things they find hilarious....

Click and Clack (The Tap-it Brothers) from Car Talk: "You have a problem with your tailpipe"
Q&C: "TAILPIPE!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA"
Click and Clack: "You'll have to take your car to the shop."
Q&C: "To the SHOP! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA"
They don't actually laugh at the things that are meant to be funny. Just random words, at random times. And they both laugh at the same THINGS that aren't funny. Weird, but amusing, and far better to listen to than rambunctious, fighting boys in the back seat.

Gas

Colby was running at top speed from the front of the house to the back. As he passed by in a blur, he said the following...
Colby: "Mom, I feel the gas!"
Mom: "uhhhhhh......"
Colby: "You know! The gas on my face!"
Mom: "Oh! You mean the air rushing by, since you're going so fast?"
Colby: "Yes. Air is a gas."
I was afraid he was being "jet propelled" by a different kind of gas, so this explanation was a relief to me.

Then Quinn chimed in.
Quinn: "Oil is used in cars. And robots. And squeaky doors. And in some kinds of gas."
Mom: "Yes."
Quinn: "And we eat some kinds of oil. It's in pizza"
Mom: "We don't eat car oil."
Quinn: "Yeah, I know."

Apparently, there was a science lesson at school that had something to do with the states of matter, and oil. These things pop up at the most random times. But they're listening!! Encouraging.

Playing Favorites

Last weekend, Colby was firmly and appropriately disciplined by his father for a serious infraction of the rules (purposely peeing on the carpet. YIKES.) The next day, Colby confided in me that Dad scared him, and he no longer liked him. That was hard for Rob to hear. He's been trying to make amends ever since. Colby's had none of it. At dinner, Rob asked the boys who they liked better - mom or dad.
Colby: "Mom"
Quinn: "I like both". Good answer, suck up.
Rob: "Colby, do you like Daddy?"
Colby: "Uhhhh, I don't know."
Rob: "If I gave you a chocolate pop-tart, would you like daddy?"
Colby: "I don't like chocolate pop-tarts." Tough customer.
Rob: "How bout a chocolate covered cherry?"
Colby: "I've never had one of those before. How about a chocolate covered cherry pop-tart?"
Rob: "That'd make you like me?"
Colby: "Yup".

Wow. He's a tough negotiator, this kid. Problem is, chocolate-covered cherry pop-tarts don't exist, so Dad's out of luck. ;) Rob just informed me that they can be "handmade" by adding Hersehy's syrup to a cherry pop tart.

ADDENDUM: It's 15 minutes later, and Dad's spent that entire time rough housing with the boys on the living room floor, after mom tried to get everyone to brush their teeth and get to bed. Colby just ran up to me and said "MOM! I like DAD!" Sure. NOW he likes Dad :)

Flat Colby

Putting the boys to bed tonight, said our prayers, gave 'em a kiss, turned to leave....

Colby: "WAIT! Mom! You haven't flattened me yet!"
Mom: "What?"
Colby: "You know... you flatten my covers...."
Mom: "You mean tuck you in?"
Colby: "Yeah, that."

Putting Money on the Card

While Mom and Reagan were gone in Spokane this past week, Dad took Quinn and Colby out to dinner and to a local arcade. They used a card loaded with money to "swipe" video games. At $2.50 a pop, it didn't take long to use up the balance on the card. Quinn today decided to rectify that situation.

Quinn: "Mom, I want to use this card to play more games."
Mom: "There's no more money on it. The money's all gone."
Quinn: "How do I get it to work again?"
Mom: "You need to put more money on the card."
Quinn: "OOOOOHHHHH." Next thing I know, Quinn had robbed his piggy bank, and had a pile of penny's stacked on top of the card.
Mom: "Quinn - not THAT way. You have to put the money on the magnetic strip on the back of the card!"
Quinn: "OOOOOOHHHHH." So he flips the card over, and puts the pennies on the magnetic strip.

I need to clarify.

Chefs

Quinn helped me cook dinner today. He used a butterknife to slice mushrooms, and then measured out the rice and pushed the buttons on the microwave. He did a very good job.

Quinn: "Mom, I think we need to call someone from a different country on the phone."
Mom: "Why? Calling a different country on the phone is expensive!"
Quinn: "Well, we need to tell someone in a different country that I'm a chef!"
Mom: "Why do we need to tell them that?"
Quinn: "Well, when they find out that I'm a chef, they'll say 'WHAT? A kid's a chef? That's IMPOSSIBLE!'"
Ahhh. We need some long-distance kudos and awe-struckedness ;).

Up In Heaven

Grandma Fran died today. Or rather, last night. I've been trying to explain what that means to two little boys all evening.

Mom: "Grandma Fran lives up in Heaven with Jesus now."
Quinn: "Is she dead?"
Mom: "Yes. It makes me very sad."
Quinn: "What died her?"
Mom : "We don't know. She was just getting ready for bed, and died."
Colby: "Did someone die her?"
Mom: "No. I think Jesus just wanted her with Him, so He took her home."
Quinn: "We saw her at Grandma Betty's house."
Mom: "Yup. That's the last time you saw her."
Quinn: "Mom, why are you crying over the jelly?"
Mom: "Grandma Fran made this jelly for us for Christmas. It's the last thing I got from her. It makes me think of her."
Colby: "If she's up in Heaven, she's not dead."
Mom: "Her soul is up in Heaven, her body is still here on earth. We'll bury her body in the ground."
Colby: "WHAT? She has no bones up in Heaven? If she has no bones, she's DEAD!"
Mom: "Her body is dead. Her SOUL is alive in Heaven with Jesus."
Colby: "Do you have a map to Heaven? How did she get there?"
Mom: "That's a tough one. She left her body here, and the part that was HER went up to be with Jesus. You can't find it on a map."
Colby: "Yes you can. I have a map to Heaven. I know how to get there."
Mom: "OK. You know your toy robot dinosaur? When the batteries die, it doesn't work anymore. It needs the energy from the batteries. It's like the dinosaur stayed here on earth, but the batteries went up to Heaven to be with Jesus." Bad, bad analogy, Mom. How do you explain a SOUL to little boys? "The part that makes Colby Colby and Quinn Quinn is your soul." I'm not doing a good job.

I finally just tucked them in and said goodnight, because my explanations were sounding really lame. I'm glad they remember her, though, since we saw her so rarely after moving to Michigan. I hope they have some recollection of what an amazing, beautiful, vivacious woman she was. My grandma.

Getting Ready For School

Getting two boys up, fed, dressed, and out of the house by 7:45 am is not easy. Today, Quinn finished breakfast in record time, got himself dressed, snowclothes on, and was on my bed, waiting for the bus, before Colby even finished his breakfast. WOW! I was impressed. Until I saw that half the outfit I had laid out for him was still on the coffee table.

Mom: "Quinn! I thought you said you got dressed!"
Q: "I did. I have a new shirt on."
I decided that maybe I should double-check things a little. He had put on a new shirt. Backwards. And had on the same underwear and pants that he worn yesterday. When I made him take off snowclothes and boots to get "re-dressed", I saw that he wasn't wearing socks, either. Thank GOODNESS I didn't take him at his word that he was ready for school!!! Supervision is obviously still required.

De-decorating for Christmas

Took the Christmas trees down yesterday. Asked Quinn to help me. He said this:
Q: "Mom! I have a great idea! Let's just leave the tree up all year, so it's ready to go for next year!"
I was SOOOO tempted, because it's such a pain to take down. But they are (or were) live trees, and we would have nothing but sticks within a few weeks, and be swimming in the needles on the floor. Shoot.

A Motherly Dream Realized

Ever since I was a little girl, it has been a dream of mine to read the Chronicles of Narnia to my children. Since the moment I read them myself in the fourth grade, I have imagined snuggling up in bed with my future offspring, and sharing the magic. At five years old, I really thought the boys were too young yet for such things. But Quinn brought "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" to me last week, and insisted on me reading it to them. They were initially concerned that there weren't any pictures, and when I said that the pictures in their head would be far better than anything anyone could draw, they seemed to accept that. We've been reading a chapter a night, and they are really, truly listening! Since we're near the end of the book, I let them watch the movie tonight. It just meant so much to me to have them say "Oh, next they're going to meet the beavers!" Or... "That must be Aslan!". Just so so cool. And Colby even noticed a few times where the movie strayed from the book. He said at the beginning "Wait! There were no airplane pictures in my head!" when the movie showed a bombing raid over London that never happened in the book. The fact that I get to share books that meant so much to me as a little girl with MY children just... fufills me. Really.

Other signs of awakening brain cells lately...
Colby was counting at the piano, head down over the keys, so I thought the boys were playing hide and seek. When I asked him what he was doing, he said "I'm counting the keys... 86, 87, 88!" I was incredibly impressed that he counted accurately that high, without losing track. There are, indeed, 88 keys on my piano!

Quinn wrote out a "treasure map" today, and spelled out on his own "bot" (boat), "pat" and "track" (I helped him add the last 'K', but otherwise, he sounded the rest out himself). Both boys have been spelling words they hear on a daily basis. Today they also sounded out and spelled "sno man".

Just a whole new realm for us, this ability to read and write that is emerging. And I think it's so cool!!!