Physics

I really have no idea how these topics of conversation come up, but tonight at dinner, the boys were asking about Einstein's theory of relativity.  Actually, it started off with some comment about a sonic boom happening when something moves faster than the speed of light, and I corrected whichever boy it was that said it. 

Mom: "The sonic boom happens when something breaks the sound barrier."

Quinn: "So, what happens when something moves faster than the speed of light?"

Mom: "Well, Einstein theorized that if something moved faster than light, then TIME changed.  Like you here on earth would still age and be like 15 years old, while Colby up in space moving really fast would still be seven."

Colby: "Uh-uh.  No way.  That's not true."

Mom: "Well, that's what Einstein said, and he was one of the smartest people on the planet."

Colby: "I think Einstein was the first person to get the theory of relativity WRONG!!!"

Mom: "Well, it is just a theory."

Quinn: "I wonder what would happen if my mouth moved faster than the speed of light?"

Mom: "I think that sometimes it already does, Quinn.  It already does."

Just what goes through their little brains, interspersed between poop jokes and  tourette's-like fart sounds, blows me away.

What My Kids Teach Me

Why is it, even though I am the parent, it seems like I learn far more from my kids than they do from me???  Tonight, I was upstairs watching Nova with the kids for a family movie night.  Reagan started getting antsy, so I took her downstairs and put her to bed.  Then I stopped to pick up a few clothes, check my email, and look up a bank statement on the computer.  Then I went back upstairs to kiss the boys goodnight, as Rob had put them into bed.

Quinn: "Mom, where'd you go?"
Me: "I went to put Reagan to bed."
Quinn: "But you didn't come back up afterwards."
Me: "I'm sorry.  I had to check on a few things."
Colby: "Mom, you should check email after we're in bed."
Me: "You're right.  I'm sorry."
Quinn: "Mom, why do you work so much?  That's all you do.  Work work work.  Sometimes you just need to RELAX."
Me: "Well, there's alot to get done around this house.  Someone needs to cook dinner, and clean, and do the laundry.  It's stuff that needs to get done."
Colby: "That's what LABOR DAY is for.  To labor.  Otherwise, you should just have fun."  OOOOH, how I WISH that were true, Colbyman!!!
Quinn: "Mom, spend time with us first.  Have fun.  THEN do your work afterwards."

It almost made me tear up, hearing my boys talk like this.  They're right.  I so rarely just stop and PLAY with them.  It's always do this, go there, get that done, nag nag nag.  They're growing up so fast, and I get so overwhelmed with the day to day junk.  I need to prioritize the most important things FIRST, and let everything else fall into place.  And right now, spending time with the kids - REALLY spending time with them, not just "around" them - should be my top priority.  Because their little boyhood is ending faster than the speed of lightning, and it will soon be replaced by teenagers who want absolutely nothing to do with their mama.

Why is that song "Cat's in the cradle" playing in my head right now?????

Tooth Fairy Fraud

Quinn lost his top right tooth the other day on the bus-ride home from school.  Very exciting, as we have not experienced tooth loss for quite some time around here.  He at first put the itty-bitty thing in a glass of water, then under his pillow, then decided to play with it, then... well.... take a guess.  Lost forever in the abyss that is a 7 year old boy's room.  So he wrote a letter to the tooth fairy, explaining the mishap.  As his brother had also lost (literally) a tooth, he knew that the tooth-fairy had an "apology note accepted" policy. 

Quinn: "Mom, I wrote the letter to the tooth fairy.  He'll still give me money, right?"
Mom: "I'm assuming so.  He did with Colby."
Quinn: "Well, I'll put the note under the pillow tonight, and get my dollar.  But if I find my tooth, I'll put it under there AGAIN and get another dollar!"
Mom: "Quinn, that's cheating!  Only one dollar per tooth.  The tooth fairy isn't dumb, you know."
Quinn: "Yes he is!  He's got a really, really small head, so he must have a really, really small brain!"

I truly am raising con men, I think.  Why can't they use their brilliance for the forces of good?????

Barefoot

Found Colby's shoes by the door today.  Inside.  Where he took them off before going OUTSIDE.  UHHH. Wait.  Shouldn't that be the other way around????  Do you need to protect your feet from carpet or dirt, little man???

Cheating

Mom: "Hey, Quinn!  How was your field trip to the Rosza Center yesterday?"
Quinn: "Good.  They had African music."
Mom: "Cool!"
Quinn: "But there was a lady in the back cheating."
Mom: "Cheating?"
Quinn: "You know. She was at the board with all the dials, making the music sound better than it really was.  If the music was GOOD, she wouldn't have to do that!"
Mom: "Oh.  The sound board?"
Quinn: "Yeah."

MISSION: Possible

I awoke to this conversation, coming from my bathroom.

"Tie the tooth with the floss, and tie it to the door."
"Is this enough floss?"
"Yeah.  That's how much I have"
"If you write the tooth fairy a note, that's good enough, even if you don't have the tooth."
"Maybe she'll leave us FIVE DOLLARS because we're losing so many teeth at once."
"Make sure the string is tight, not loose.  It won't work if it's loose."
"On your marks.... get set.... go!"  (SLAM!)
"Wow!  The door pulled me forward, it was so strong!  Let's do that trick again!" (SLAM)
"It broke that floss"
"I'll slam harder".

Schemers.  Little boys both have the front top right tooth loose at the same time, and the past 24 hours has been a full-out campaign to get those teeth out of their heads.  At church last night, I had to remind the boys that having floss hanging out of their mouths while bringing up the gifts for communion and handing out the programs probably wasn't going to look the best.  They agreed, luckily, but only for the length of the service, and then they were right back at it.  Tooth fairy better be getting ready!!  Them teethes days be numbered!  The Dynamic Duo will make sure of it!

Trees

Mom: "Boys, what are you doing?"
Colby & Quinn: "Sleeping."
Mom: "Aren't you up in a tree?"
Quinn: "Yeah.  We're gonna spend the night up here."
Mom: "What's Reagan doing?"
Colby: "She wants to sleep up here, too, but we can't get her up."


UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  Hmmmm.  They're quiet, I'll give them that.  Still don't get high scores for safety awareness, though.

Of Gas and Spatulas

Quinn was making himself and Reagan breakfast this morning, using my griddle.  I told him to be careful and not burn himself.

Quinn: "Don't worry Mom.  I won't burn myself.  I have this flatula".

Hee hee hee.  If he only knew what "flatula" really meant ;).

FUSION and FISSION

Thanks to grandma and grandpa, the boys have had two nights apart from each other.... one with grandma and grandpa, and one with Mom and Dad.  It has been.... amazing.  We have long known that our boys, when separated, exhibit levels of maturity, good behavior, focus, and general delightfulness that we do not get to see otherwise.  We just don't get to experience the phenomenon all that often.  Take yesterday for example.  Quinn had spent the night at his grandparents, where he completed several puzzles and ate pancakes.  Later, we made the switch with his brother, and he came home to help me clean the house (polished the furniture without me asking), and then helped me bake dinner.  FOR AN HOUR.  We had an "iron chef" bake off, with Quinn preparing the carrots from our garden and making stuffed mushrooms, Dad smoking a turkey, and Mom making dessert.  It was so fun.     Colby rejoined us for dinner, and both boys immediately began skateboarding down the front hill, whining about dinner being "rotten", wrestling non-stop, and generally losing about 5 years of maturity in a single instant.  After dinner, when Colby left to spend the night at grandma and grandpas -- Quinn snuggled in for an enjoyable movie night with Mom and Dad.  It's like "little angel.... fusionwithtwinbrothertransformingchildrenintohyperactivewrestle-maniatasmaniandevils...... back to little angel".  Everyone notices it.  It's an evidence-based, scientific fact in this house.  My lobbying to put this data to good use and put the boys into separate classes at school failed.  They'll be in the same class again.  I have hopes that it will go well, and that their behavior improves over the past two years.  If it doesn't, I'm bringing up the lobbying efforts again, because I do NOT want them labeled as "bad kids" in a small school, when I know what GREAT kids they can be, as long as their brother is not in the vicinity. 

Do all twins have this problem, or is it just an "Aho" thing?????

Death-defying Beauty

Last night at grandma and grandpa's house, Quinn and Colby decided to do a little tree climbing.  I didn't notice until someone told Rob, who yelled "Quinn! Colby!...... MOM!"  As in.... Mom, go keep your sons from killing themselves. 

I glanced over, and didn't see them at first.  I thought they were in the neighbor's yard.   Until my nephew told me to look up.  "They're at the top of that tree.  The VERY top."  As in 35 feet up.  Oh good grief.

Mom: "Boys!  You come down from there RIGHT NOW. "
Quinn and Colby: "WHY???"
Mom: "Because you can fall.  That's way too high."
Quinn: "Mom, we're okay!  We're not going to fall!"
Colby: "The view is BEAUTIFUL up here!  I can see all the way to Copper Harbor!"
Mom: "The view is beautiful from six feet.  Get down here."

UGH.  It takes constant vigilance to keep the boys from attempting to kill themselves.  When does self-preservation kick in?  Because as much as I don't want them to grow up fast, I can't WAIT for that part of their development to start.