What the Future Holds

Apparently, Quinn has aspirations of living in a hotel someday. He's a tad indecisive about whether he wants to live in Houghton OR a hotel. A big one, with beds that he can jump between, and a pool with a waterslide. Decisions decisions decisions.

What Pirates Eat

We were in charge of snacks today for the soccer game, which ended up getting cancelled due to rain. On the way to the flooded soccer fields, I asked the boys what we should bring.

Colby: "Poptarts!"
Quinn: "Blueberry Pie!"
Mom: "Uhhhh.... those are 'slow foods'. We need some 'go foods'. Something healthy."
C&Q: "MOOOOOOMMMMM! Treats aren't supposed to be healthy!!!!!"
Colby: "I know! Let's bring tofu!"
Mom: "Tofu????"
Colby: "Yeah! That's what pirates eat!"
Mom: "Pirates eat tofu?"
Colby: "Yup."

I am absolutely positive that my boys do not know what tofu really is. They just know that a pirate wouldn't be caught DEAD eating anything healthy!!!

Kindergarten Is Coming

The boys are SOOOOO excited about kindergarten. Yesterday, they packed their lunch boxes. Two weeks early. Afterwards, Colby ran through the house yelling "I'm so essited! I'm so essited!" (Translation: essited = excited, but when you're that excited, who can stop their tongue long enough to form an "x"?)

No Colbys Allowed

Colby was crying. Inconsolably. When I asked why, he said that Quinn had made a sign, and he wasn't allowed in the food pantry.

Mom: "NEITHER of you are allowed in the food pantry. " I checked out the alleged sign.

Mom: "Colby, do you see your name on that sign?"

Colby: "No."

Mom: "Then it doesn't say what Quinn says it does, so there's no reason to cry."

Quinn: "YES MOM, it DOES! See?" (pretending to sound things out as he traced the letters with his fingers) "N-n-o-o C-c-olby's allowed, only M-o-mmy and D-a-ddy and Quinn."

Colby: "WAAAAAHHHHHH"

Mom: "Quinn, where is Colby's name on that sign?"

Quinn: "Uh, right here?" Yeah - maybe in Russian.

Mom: "Quinn is not allowed any place that Colby is not allowed, and I'm here to tell you that NEITHER of you are allowed in the pantry."

May we get on with life now???

Lego Booby-traps and the Toy Monster

In an effort to get the boys to clean their room, we have invented the "toy monster". If, after a designated and very generous amount of time, there are still toys on the floor, the Toy Monster (aka my old suitcase) comes into the room and eats them. This generally causes much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Good behavior then causes the toy monster to "burp" back out one toy at a time. Anyways. It worked a few times. So yesterday, we were up cleaning their room, getting nowhere, and I warned about the toy monster. Instead of frantically picking their toys up, as I had hoped, they started making little lego bombs, and little lego guns, and setting BOOBY TRAPS for the toy monster. They were going to take him head on! No Toy Monster was going to blackmail THEM into picking up their toys!!! Mean Mommy spontaneously invented a new rule to the game: boys are not allowed to FIGHT the Toy Monster. Quinn, especially, thought this was totally unfair.

Mom: "Why don't you just pick up your toys, instead of spending all this time and effort trying to FIGHT the toy monster?"
Quinn: "Is he here yet? I want to fight him."
Mom: "No. That's not allowed. The Toy Monster will always win."
Quinn: "oh well. If he eats my toys, I can always earn them back."
THAT was his plan for cleaning his room? Letting the toy monster eat everything, and then, when he wants to play with something, do one good thing and earn them back one at a time??? How did my son get so conniving? I told him that maybe the toy monster wouldn't burp anything back up, and that maybe he would donate the toys to a needy family instead.
Colby: "That's silly mom. EVERYONE has toys!"
Mom: "No they don't. You're very lucky, you have toys. But not all kids have toys."
Colby: "Yes they do. Don't tease me!"

Maybe the toy monster really SHOULD donate some excess toys to a worthy child, who would take better care of them! There are multiple very important lessons to be learned here!

Grass Monsters

Rob mowed the field out back, which meant Mom and boys HAD to go on a "bear hunt". Didn't find any bears, but did catch a glimpse of a few grass monsters...

Concoctions

Recipe for Twin Juice:

Dump the following ingredients into an old margarita bucket:

5 raspberries, picked from the woods

1 whole apple, minus a single bite

1 can Diet Coke

1 can Diet Sierra Mist

1/2 a bag of Splenda

1 Packet Crystal Light Lemonade crystals

Stir together with Mom's Frosting Gun for cake decorating, and drink ad lib. Yum Yum Yum.

Snack Time

The boys made themselves a snack yesterday. Toasted jam, ketchup, and cheese sandwiches. YUM YUM.

The Power of Marketing

My children are far from neat. They have most likely inherited my genes in this regard, for which I pity them (and myself) daily. Quinn, perhaps to put off bedtime last night, decided to surprise me by washing his bathroom sink.
"MOM! Come down here! I have to show you something!"
"Come upstairs and show me! It's bedtime!"
"No! It's down here! Come look!"
A few questions later, and I discovered he had wiped the sink clean.
"Good job, buddy! I'm proud of you!"
"Hey Mom. Did I use KaBoom, or Oxiclean?"
"WHAT?"
"How did I clean the sink? With KaBoom or Oxiclean?"
"Well, you used Clorox wipes, I guess. How do you know about KaBoom and Oxiclean?"
"TV".
Of course. TV.