Big Boy "DUH"

Rob dropped the kids off at Vacation Bible School tonight.  He came home thoroughly impressed.

Rob: "Pastor Aaron is so cool.  He came up to me and the boys, and started talking, and addressed each of the boys BY NAME!  He could totally tell them apart!  At first, I thought he was wrong, but when I checked... NOPE.  He had them right.  And he was so confident about it.  That's amazing.  He knows which boy is which.  Hardly anyone can do that!!"

Me: "They were wearing name tags."

OH.

Orphans

Quinn: "Mom, is dad allowed to take passengers yet on the plane?"
Mom: "Not yet.  Almost."
Reagan: "Reagan get bigger.  Get big hands.  Fly with Daddy!"
Mom: "You'll have to be ALOT bigger."
Colby: "The only thing standing between us and that plane is YOU!"
Mom: "I'm going to be the first one to fly with Daddy."
Quinn: "Hey, what happens if you crash??  We'd have no parents!"
Colby: "YEAH!  Pop tarts every night!"
Quinn: "We'd take over the house!"
Colby: "Have a nice trip, Mom!"
Quinn: "Yup.  Been nice knowin' you."

Thanks.  Alot.  Ingrates.

EWWW

Daddy gave me a hug and a kiss and an "I love you, Mommy" before leaving for work today.  Mommy gave Daddy a hug and a kiss and an "I love you, too".  Quinn rolled his eyes, disgusted.

Quinn: "You guys!  I'm RIGHT HERE!"

The seven-year-old equivalent to "get a room!"

:)

Touch

These boys.  CONSTANTLY touching, hitting, wrestling, kicking, tickling, tussling, rough-housing, scuffling, patting, bashing, buffeting, and thumping each other.  CONSTANTLY.  They can't keep their hands off each other. 

Mom: "I bet you guys a WHOLE DOLLAR that you can't keep your hands to yourself for a whole day."
Colby: "A real dollar?"
Mom: "Yup.  If you don't touch your brother at all today, I will give you a dollar."
Colby (shaking Mom's hand): "Deal".
Quinn (refusing to shake Mom's hand): "That's worth more like $10".
Mom: "It doesn't matter.  I could bet you a million dollars, and you still couldn't do it."
Quinn: "Fine.  Bet me a million dollars that I can't keep my hands to myself."
Mom: "I don't have a million dollars, otherwise I would."
Quinn: "I take checks, Mom."

We negotiated down to... a dollar.  And it didn't matter.  Because they lasted exactly 5 minutes and 23 seconds before Colby put his foot on Quinn's knee during breakfast.

Mom: "TOUCH!  BZZZZZZT!  Deal's off."
Quinn: "I didn't touch Colby!  He touched me!"
Mom: "It takes two to touch.  You didn't run away."

Colby: "OK.  Same deal, starting new... right..... NOW!"

At least we had 5 minutes without tussling.  That's kind of a record around here, I think.

Filth and Fashion

In utter frustration this morning, I cried out to the Heavens.

Mom: "They're nearly EIGHT YEARS OLD!!  Can they eat a simple bowl of oatmeal without making a mess of themselves???"

This, of course, was in response to breakfast, during which large portions of food ended up on the front of Colby's shirt. 

Quinn (in an affected British accent):  "Mom, we're just not into that fashion thing."

Like it's all about fashion, and not one iota about cleanliness. 

I sigh and roll my eyes alot around here.

Career Paths

In the car on the way to the sitters today:

Colby: "When I grow up, I get to be ANY kind of engineer I want.  Dad says I get to choose."
Mom chuckles.  The world would explode if any of our kids decide to be an art major.
Quinn: "I'm going to be a Mechanical Engineer."
Colby: "I'm going to be an Electrical Engineer."
Quinn and Colby: "We're going to make a robot"
Quinn: "With a tail"
Colby: "I'm going to design the brain."
Quinn: "I'm going to design the body."
Colby: "I'm going to make it shoot electrical impulses."
Quinn: "But it will take a TON of wires, so we're going to design something where the electrons just go out together, and not along individual wires."
Mom: " Hmmm, that's actually an interesting idea."
Quinn: "AND I'm going to invent an electron digger that will dig to the center of the earth, in a really really small tunnel.  By moving the atoms."
Mom: "That's another really good idea.  You could look for gold, or oil, or other minerals that way, wtihout having to destroy a big chunk of the earth's surface"
Colby: "Except, when you hit magma, the earth will explode, killing millions of people."
Quinn: "Oh, yeah, that might be a problem."

I love it when they talk science :)

Alliances

Playing Monopoly with my sons is not fun.  They form an unbreakable alliance from the first roll of the dice.  Colby sold Quinn his railroad for $5.  Quinn slipped Colby an extra $100, because "he doesn't have much money".  They both tried to scam their sister out of her real-estate by offering her one pink $5 bill for her most valuable locations.  Because they know how much she loves pink, and has no idea the value of the number 5.
I pointed out that BOTH of them had a whole lot more money than other players (like ME, for instance), and maybe they should spread their generosity around just a bit.

"But we've got to help each other win!" they both said.  Not exactly simultaneously, but just about. 

Honestly.  You ARE two separate human beings, children. 

When we counted the money at the end, they both determined that they had exactly the same amount, and had both won.  When I counted, Quinn had $400 more than Colby, but neither one of them would hear it. 

"We both won". 

Okay.  Whatever. 

Game Over.