Deadly Sins

So, a few things have been happening simultaneously here.  Firstly, I have been sick.  Like dog-sick for weeks, a literal snot-factory where I am highly medicated and feeling fatigued.  Secondly, our country is going through a very ugly national election.  Thirdly, life and work and school and extracurricular activities have ramped up to a frantic level, and mama is feeling overwhelmed.  Oh, and then lastly... the boys happened to LISTEN during Sunday school this week.   SO, that's the stage, as we were driving to school in the car yesterday.

Mom: "Well, boys.. I didn't exercise again this morning, because I feel so crappy.  AND tomorrow is my day of despair... the national election, where I cannot forsee a good outcome for the country."

Quinn and Colby: "GEEZ Mom.  You are committing so many deadly sins."

Mom: "WHAT???"

Quinn: "Yes.  Sloth and despair.  And maybe gluttony."

Mom: "In my defense, gluttony has taken a back seat because I have no appetite since being sick.  And.... ok.  I will have hope.  I have hope that whoever wins, impeachment proceedings start immediately.  Despair is gone."

Now to work on sloth.

Harsh.

Quinn, on the Election

The boys have been hearing lots about the election this year (who couldn't.  It's everywhere.  And it's ugly).  Quinn popped off with this the other day.

"Mom, people say that Donald Trump is a misogynist". 

"Hmmmm.  Do you even know what that means?" I asked.

"Of course.  It means that he massages people's backs," says he.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  He was offended that I laughed at him, but I couldn't help it. 

"I'm pronouncing it wrong Mom, but that IS what it means!"  Too funny. 

And then, both boys came up with this, and I nearly peed my pants.

"Mom, if Donald Trump was Mexican, this is what he'd say...  [[in their best Donald impersonations]]
'I'm going to build a ramp over that wall, and get those hot-dog eating Americans to pay for it!  Let's make Mexico Bueno again!'"

I died.  WHERE do they come up with this stuff?????

Autobiographies of the first 12 years

Both boys have written autobiographies for English class.  Here's what they wrote:

COLBY:

Usually, an autobiography starts when the person was born. But not me! I start before I was born. SO, now that you know how this is going to start, let us begin.

Let me set the scene. There was me, in the dark, trapped in that tiny space known as the womb. But there was something different in that little space. Usually, people will tell you how they were all alone in the womb, but not me. I was a twin. "Oh." I hear you saying, "then that makes it better." Well, let me tell you first hand it doesn't. Remember how I said it was cramped? Well, having a twin makes it two times worse. I have FOOTAGE of me getting kicked around by that annoying little brat.  Wait!  Who is the "annoying little brat?" Well, that person is my twin/brother. His name is Quinn. 

"But how is he 'little,' if he's your identical twin?"

Technically, I am 5 minutes older than him, but that is not the point. Quinn was annoying even before he was born; he would take my food,kick me around, etc. But right as I was born, I decided to turn the tables and started hitting him in the face.

After that, I grew up and got some hobbies. One of the most memorable was video games.

December 25, 2010 (something along those lines), 1 am, yep, 1 am. I woke up and ran as fast as those little legs could take me.  I slammed open the door so hard it nearly broke. But, hey it was Christmas.  I ran down the stairs making booms as I ran. Boom! Boom! Boom!

In fact, it was so loud that it woke up my mom sleeping downstairs.  We will get to that later. My little kid self nearly broke the sound barrier  running into the living room, and there it was. A Wii.  

"A Wii!?!?!?!" little, tiny me screamed.  My scream of excitement woke everybody in the whole house. Then my mom walked up next to me and very groggily said "tell me, Colby, why are you up at 1 am in the morning?"

"Wait," I asked, "It is 1 am in the morning?"

 "Yes."

 "Huh, the more you know." So she let me sleep with her and said go to bed, but I said "are you serious?" She sighed and mumbled to herself, "Welp, I am certainly not going to sleep for a long, long time."  Yes, I agreed.  Not until you let me play that Wii.  Then we made a deal.  I would wait in her bed until 5 am, then I could wake everybody up. But I would never go to sleep during that period.

Okay, enough about video games (for now).  Let's talk about animation.

So, my teacher makes us write in our journal, and we have to write about our passion, and I am thinking  "Hmm, what should be my passion?  Hmm, I wonder what my logo says ( no, not the old one)? Hmm..."  Thus I pick animation. Let me tell you before you go running off to buy an expensive animation program; IT IS HARD. Not only that, it is time-consuming. It takes about 5 hours for a 1-minute clip by yourself. Oh, and by the way, if you do buy that "really expensive animation program" you will probably think "why the heck did I buy this?  This is a waste of my money."   But I have been naming off the bad stuff.   There is a lot of good stuff about it. It helps me to relax, and when you finish your animation, it feels rewarding. But most of all IT IS FUN.

Let's talk about pets.

Over the years (which is not many) I had five dogs that I can remember.

Their names were Gunner, Morgan, Fergie, Sammy, and Blue. I'm going to talk a little bit about them all.

Morgan:

By FAR Morgan was the bravest. She would protect you from anything. From criminals to dogs to even wolves, she was there to protect.  She had her own home behind the sauna. On the day of her death, she made a hole under the house and died.

Fergie:

Fergie was playful. I think Fergie was dad's favorite dog. She liked to play catch with the football. She liked to hide under the covers in the bed so nobody could find her.  She was a great dog.  When she died, we made a memorial for her and buried her, with a sign to remind us of that great dog.

Gunner:

Gunner is my current dog. Gunner is smart, in a mischevious sort of way. He is also a "playful, but rough" kind of dog.  He plays "catch me," which is a game where he runs around, and you have to catch him.  He jukes you out, and when you try to find him, he jumps right over your arm.

Sammy:

I never really knew Sammy, his death was unknown, and I don't remember him that much. But what I do know is that he was WILD, but not in a bad way. I remember that Sammy was alive when Morgan was around. And those two would play a lot.

Blue:

I don't remember Blue at all; I was tiny at the time. 

I don't even know Blue's gender.  But what I do know is that Blue was an excellent dog and that I THINK he was a beagle, so you know he was a great dog.

So, now you know a little bit about my life. But that is not even close to all of my life. I haven't even told you how I make music and post on Youtube and Soundcloud, or how I make video games, or even how I went to MEXICO! But I will tell you life is great so far. And I hope it will stay that way forever.

FROM QUINN:

Autobiography

            Welcome to my autobiography, where I will tell you about my life!  Even though I’m in 7th grade!   We’ll talk about where I live, to where I’ve been!  First, I will talk about my passion and then I will go on from there.            

            I am passionate about music, because I just like everything about it; from writing it, to playing it, and even listening to it! It's what motivates me, and helps me concentrate.   My favorite types of music are dance, EDM, and electronic.  I really like MUSIC!                                           

I also play three instruments: trumpet, keyboard/piano, and mandolin.  What I do in my spare time is make music on my phone and post it online. I post my music on a website called Soundcloud, which is a site where you can listen to music, like itunes.  My profile is called MrOpaze and I have currently made 16 songs!

 I currently have two pets. One of them is a dog named Gunner, and I know what you're thinking. You think since his name is Gunner,  he is a big ferocious dog with lots of teeth and will attack you at any moment.  Well, you would be wrong… besides the ferocious part! He is actually a small, energy-filled 100% Jack Russell Terrier puppy, and  trust me he is ferocious!   When he bites on my pant leg, he won’t let go! He is a cute little monster! The second pet I have is a fish that has lived for a whopping 7 years so far! I’m not sure what type of fish he is because we got him so long ago, but what I do know is that he is a determined fish.  My fish is orange, but he used to be black.  I don’t know if it is a natural thing or not, but I think I might know why: one day my sister put a perfume bottle over the fish tank, and I think you know what's next… she dropped it in the fish tank! And it is still alive. Those are my pets.

I've been to a lot of places;  Hawaii, Mexico, Florida, Honduras, Belize, the Cayman Islands,  Canada, and many more! One of my favorite vacations I’ve ever been on was the cruise.  It was a cruise that went from Florida to Mexico.  We didn't need a passport, because we started in Florida and ended in Florida. This was four years ago, but I remember that I was in a bus with my with my cousins heading to the docking bay, but once I got there, they wouldn't let me in! They didn't let me in because I didn't have my birth certificate, but my mom had it and she was on a different bus! I had to sit there in front of the door while a guard watched me! It was a mess! But eventually she came, and I got in.  Once I took a step in the boat, I was amazed. It was super fancy.  The cruise was called Carnival, and it was like everything was made of glass and I thought it was going to break!

I have four family members.  Their names are Reagan, Colby, Monica and Rob.  Monica and Rob are my parents.  Reagan is my little annoying sister.  Colby is my twin.  We are of Finnish descent and we go on a lot of vacations as I mentioned before.  We live in Chassell. 

Since I’m only 7th grade, I know this autobiography is not over yet.  There are a lot of things in store for me.  I hope you like my autobiography.

THE END!!