Overheard, In the Kitchen

The scene:  Mom, Dad and Quinn in the kitchen, because it's a snow day, and 2 out of 3 of these characters don't have enough to do.  Quinn is making himself some oatmeal.  The real stuff, on the stove, not the instant, microwave kind.

Dad:  "Quinn, if you're going to make oatmeal, you have to do it right, or it's a waste.  Your mom makes the best oatmeal of anyone I've ever seen, so ask her how to do it."

Quinn: "Dad, it's not hard.  Boil water.  Put in oatmeal.  Done."

Dad: "NO!  That's all wrong!  Ask Mom!  You have to know how much water to put in.  You have to boil the water first, then you have to cook it the precise amount of time to get it perfect.  SHE makes it perfect!  DO IT HER WAY!"

Quinn: "Dad, I'm not stupid.  I've made oatmeal before."

Dad: "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!  ASK YOUR MOM!!"

Notice that Mom was silent during this whole exchange, quietly emptying the dishwasher, and thinking that both of these guys really needed to get out of the kitchen.  Finally, I spoke up.

Mom: "Rob, why don't you go in the living room, and I'll help Quinn make the oatmeal."

Dad: "Fine.  Because I'm giving you big props here.  You make the best oatmeal in the world, and you need to teach him how to do it right."

Mom: "Yup.  Thanks. Will do.  Buh-bye."

(after Dad's gone)

Quinn: "So?  How do you do it?"

Mom: "Put some water and oatmeal in the pot, and bring it to a boil.  Go away for awhile until you smell something burning and think   'OH!  I left the oatmeal on the stove!', and then go scrape out the portion that's not burned and stuck onto the pot. THAT'S how I make oatmeal."

Rob: "I HEARD THAT!"